It’s that time of the year, and frankly I’m finding it hard to focus on the things I am thankful for. Instead my heart leads my mind to what I have lost.
And I have lost a most vital part of my life, and myself. My husband. And I don’t know who I am or what to do without him, much of the time.
Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Being thankful in the down times is vital for our faith to remain strong. I tend to ignore what I am feeling and pray thankfully each morning. Thanking God for the day, his guidance and his faithfulness in my life. I thank him that he is sovereign and in control of my life and I submit myself and my day to him. Most days.
This doesn’t always help me focus on the things I have to be thankful for.
I am thankful for the roof over my head, but dread that I no longer hear my husband footsteps on the porch, or his voice in the other room. I miss how his laughter used to fill this home.
I am thankful that my boys are still home with me, even though they are adults. Yet, I feel as if they are being burdened by me.
I am thankful for my friends. They truly have saved my life several times these last several months!
I pray. It’s how I remained focused.
I sleep. It’s the depression and sadness. But then I dread waking up … but like I said I pray each morning, thanking God for the day and his presence.
I am focusing on this:
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which, indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15
The Peace of Christ in my heart, because on my own I don’t have peace in this loss. And for his peace I am thankful.
Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. Colossians 4:2
In consistant prayer I am able to do what needs to be done and be watchful and wise over my life. I am thankful that my relationship with Father God has brought me to this place where I am able to pray even when my heart is shattered.
Staying thankful, even when on the surface it is a reach, is so grounding. I have lost my heart, the very air I used to breath. However today I continue to breath and function and live, and sometimes I even laugh and enjoy. I have God to thank for this. I have God’s plan to rely upon, because without it my purpose escapes me.
I am thankful. I just, sometimes, have trouble expressing it. It’s almost like I’m wrong, somehow, to be grateful after such a great loss… but thankful to God I am.
What am I most thankful for at this time? Well, that’s easy. I am thankful that I know exactly where My Love is. I know he is up there with God, in the mansion Jesus prepared for him. Well, healthy and enjoying never ending love and joy. I long to be with him there. All in God’s timing.
Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! His faithful love endures forever! Let all Israel repeat: “His faithful love endures forever.” Let Aaron’s descendants, the priests repeat: “His faithful love endures forever.” Let all who fear the Lord repeat: “His faithful love endures forever.”
In my distress I prayed to the Lord and he answered me, and set me free. Psalm 118:1-5
We were taught on Genuine Worship this Sunday at our church. Genuine Worship is a lifestyle of worship. Obedience, surrender and relationship with God the Father, Christ Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
I am genuinely thankful that my relationship has taught me these things. Because even as I am sad and fractured I am able to honestly be thankful that God doesn’t forsake me … even when I feel so very alone.
In my distress I pray to the Lord, and I can honestly testify that he answers me and sets me free.
How do you deal with being thankful in your hard times?
I encourage you to seek the Lord, pray, seek his kingdom and his righteousness … There’s a scripture for that! ;)
Thank you for taking the time to read. I truly pray this blessed you.