Not much encourages me lately. I’m having trouble reconciling being encouraged about life, while my heart and air have been taken from me.
But God … just when I need it He gives me comfort and encouragement …
I’ve had some trouble sleeping lately. Not out of fear, I don’t think. Just insomnia, probably brought on by dragging out getting up in the morning (afternoon). It’s waking up I fear.
Well maybe fear is too strong a word. Let me use an equally strong, but more accurate term; loath.
No denial here. Just anger.
Last night I fell asleep with artificial help for maybe an hour or so last night and then I woke about 3 am to a silent home. I turned the tv back on with the volume low and laid back down and slept and dreamt.
I closed my eyes in prayer, hoping that My Love would come in a dream … he did. <3
I remember clearly his arm around my middle, that close familiar comfort.
I talked to him about normal stuff. I remember getting up and doing normal stuff, like before he was ill. Talking to him all the while.
Though I don’t remember hearing his voice. I don’t think he spoke. He just shook his head when I asked before waking up, …
He answered me when I asked, ” Are you really here or am I in denial?”
He shook his head to both, I remember knowing he was answering both questions.
No he wasn’t really here, it was a dream to comfort me for sleep.
No I wasn’t in denial, I was having a dream.
And right now as the tears come I am comforted by the dream God allowed me so I would sleep.
I am encouraged that I will see him and have the momentary comfort of his presence, if only in a dream.
Thanks for reading and God bless.