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Living and Writing on Purpose: God * Life * Love * Realtionships * The Important Things.


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How God Assures Me He’s On It :: A Much Needed Sunday Healing


Sweet, Sad Eyed Boy

Sweet, Sad Eyed Boy

This is my sweet boy. My youngest. My sad little guy. And OH how he had reason for that sweet, sad look. And OH how I sometimes, still, ache for my blindness.

The Man

The Man

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is the man… angry and battling his demons. Very scary demons. And OH how I dreamed of reaching that sweet boy who was hidden in that angry man. I was incapable of reaching into him, to the boy. He wouldn’t let me. I wasn’t, still am not allowed to even hug him. It’s truly heartbreaking for me. And I’m sure his heart is broken. But He battles daily with his illness, his addiction. Heroin. And even when he stumbles, slips and falls flat out; he gets back up to battle. He’s superman in his head. He still thinks he needs to be I think. Because, I couldn’t protect him, because he couldn’t tell me … until they did, when they were barely in grade school … and the man (teen) you see above hid the sweet boy. Seemingly forever.

He fell this week. Wasn’t able to recover from an apparent stumble and now he starts over again. And my heart is broken watching him be sick. Very sick as he starts to stand back up to this illness, this craving, whose whole intent is to kill that sweet boy he has hidden in his heart.

Shane light editThis is him at the beginning of the last run of sobriety. Tired but strong. He’ll be there again.

And I know this because God and I met in worship this morning at church. I started the day very worried about my sweet boy, who hasn’t been so sweet these last few days. He was sick and in pain and irritable. I mean who wouldn’t be when they felt sick; I certainly am not fun when I am ill. But this is different.

There’s nothing I can do. And if I do something I am jeopardizing his life by enabling him. He has to walk out the withdrawl himself. He has to want to feel better. He has to choose between sobriety  and oblivion.

Unlike the cancer his father battles, the boy chose his illness. Chose oblivion over the demons of something he had no say in and I had no knowledge of. The demons who continue to tell him it was his fault. The demons that tell him I should have known. The demons who tell him he’s superman and he can live through the dangerous choices. The demons who tell him no one loves him because he’s unlovable now. This monster heroin quiets the demons I imagine. But then they begin to rustle again and bite … I cannot fathom the pain, though I experience his pain and suffering while he battles the withdrawl and fights for the breath of air that sobriety brings him.

As I sang praises to God today. As I worshiped the Father that promises to heal us. I cried out and from the depth of this mother’s heart and soul I sought my God’s assistance for my sweet boy. And God assured me that with that relinquishing, once again, of my boy to His care, that the boy, the man, would be healed.

During this song, as the lead singer of our worship band and assistance pastor sang this favorite, God met me in my aching for my sweet boy. I quieted and prayed for him and for The Hubs and was assured that He had them, that their healings were imminent, promised. And I quieted into the precious peace of the music, in Father’s presence.

You see, I’ve realized that the enemy has put a hit out on this family. Two of my men are battling grave illnesses, and the boy does not know the promises we believe! So I, WE, as a family must believe for him. He does not know that heroin addiction cannot kill him, as his father knows the cancer cannot kill him, though we tell him.

The boy does not know, as the father does, that because we believe, he is saved from his illnesses and cleansed of his sins, sins that are not even his own, but believes to be. The boy doesn’t believe that Jesus loved him so much that he took the heroin needle for him to the cross and died there with that illness upon Him! So we must believe and pray until the boy understands his worth to the Father.

And what mother, father and brother wouldn’t do this for a boy, for a man?

Oh how I wish the boy believed that he would live. Oh how I wish the boy believed he is loved beyond his mother’s ability to put it in words. Oh how I wish he knew the joy I get when he is well and smiles and is a participating member of this family. A participating member in his own life.

So I leave this post as another prayer to God. It holds no scripture, only a song of worship and praise to our Father God expressing my love and honor to him. I leave it as proof that I acknowledge His response to my need, my boy’s need, this morning. And I thank him again and again, without end that my sweet boy is starting to feel better and is two or three (I’m not sure) days back on the road of sobriety.

To every parent of a child who battles the illness of addiction, or any illness for that matter, I sing this song for you and your child. I pray that God vanquish this demon and send it to hell from whence it came, and I put the enemy and heroin under the feet of Jesus.

We are healed. Our children are healed. Our land is healed. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Thanks for listening to this outpouring of a mother’s heart.

ASignature

The sweet boy’s mom. =)


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Healing Sunday the Medicine of Praise! … 31days:day26


I think I’ve said this before … I find healing within my praise time with God. I find the catalyst of the music the easiest way to enter into the presence of God, where I believe we are automatically in the condition of the wholeness God intended us to be.

Praise is my medicine.

Our Youth Worship Band brought us into worship today and it was amazing. {They sang the song below … perfectly.}

I also believe that since I’ve lost a significant amount of weight I was able to physically participate actively in my worship. I found myself refreshed and worked when we finally finished with our praise and worship time.

Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for you are my praise. Jeremiah 17:14

This particular song washes over me and I’m with my Father God and He responds to me, and that response heals me to my core! This song is a prayer of praise and love. I pray you will listen and allow God to respond to you in your praises … because He is your {our} praise.

Blessings to you and thanks for reading.

Thank You for Reading. Andrea

Thank You for Reading.
Andrea

keep calm blog

31 Days Journey to Healing

31 Days Journey to Healing


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Humbly Speaking About Humility | Tuesday@10 on Day 21 of 31Days


It’s Tuesday again, the day I attempt to utilize the Word Prompt from Tuesday@10 into The 31Day Writing Challenge! Some are easier than others … this one took some pondering, though I know what I wanted to get across.

This weeks prompt from KarenBeth is Humility and it certainly took a bit of time to wrap Healing up into Humility.

So may I humbly submit to you, my offering of prayer and healing to you, today.

Breaking Through to the Other Side of It ...

Breaking Through to the Other Side of It …

“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” James 4:10

True humility is a virtue I desire, most Christians desire; but like many of God’s characteristics, humility is not one I come by naturally.

Humility is not a value; it doesn’t express weakness or timidity. It is, rather, a gift from God, by grace, that should be revealed through our character. Humility, by definition is the opposite of pride.  And Jesus taught on humility, while on earth.

“Everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” Luke 14:11

People who are truly humble do not seek attention, they do not seek to push a personal agenda. Genuinely humble Christians seek only to advance God by being the example of what God does through them, as individuals. It’s not about me teaching you how to pray, or instructing you how to receive your healing. It’s my showing, through my life and experiences, how God The Father has worked His plan through me!

God works mightily through the honest humility of people!

I can humbly tell you that I don’t know why I am alive today, after the diagnosis of congestive heart failure 5 years ago. I haven’t lost the necessary weight yet that would ensure heart health; though I’ve made strides and then failed. But I’ve gotten up from that failure to stride again, by the grace of God! It’s not me … my health is completely about God and His plan for me.

It is in all humility that I stand in awe of God’s Works, when it comes to The Hubs life and battle with the diagnosis of cancer! It is definitely by His Grace alone that we have come to this place in this battle full of life and love and testimony of healing and health. It is by God’s grace that The Hubs continues to stun the doctors with vibrant lung health even as they refuse to tell us that the cancer is gone and he is healed. And it will be to God’s Glory and Honor alone when they come to the conclusion that The Hubs is, most definitely Healed and Healthy! I anticipate, with great joy and excitement, that testimony!

I don’t have the answers, except that I believe God at His Word that I am {we are}  healed and that He has a purpose for me! I do not know the time of these miracles and their testimonies … I just know that they are there for us in God’s time. When this healing will make the most impact upon those around us!

When I stumble, and oh how I stumble, I do my level best to get back up and resubmit myself, humbly and with repentance to my Father God, always thankful that He is there with His Word to help me back up so that I can follow His instruction. I confidently put my trust in God and do not arrogantly demand that God allow me to do things on my own. I am useless on my own!

And speaking with honest humility, I have to say that I don’t do the above, ANYMORE! And when stress or life or emotions have me leaning back into my own human-ness; I humbly ask God for forgiveness, as soon as I come to my senses.

“Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress; he sent out his Word {Jesus} and healed them, and delivered them from destruction. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his Wonderful works to humankind.”

Psalm 107:19-21

… let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wonderful works to humankind.

Being thankful is a part of humility. It’s admitting that I don’t know everything, in fact I know very little of what I need to do in life, without Him to guide me. And oh, let me tell you how thankful I am! Actually there are no words to describe this gratitude!

And humbly, we declare and decree the Word of God.

“Greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world.”
I thank God that “By His stripes Iam healed.”
And “No weapon formed against me shall prosper.”
All the honor to God the Father that “I shall not die but live and declare the works of the Lord.”
“I will not forget the benefits of God. He heals all my diseases.”
I stand in awe that “The Lord restores health to me and heals me of my wounds.”
I thank Him, humbly that “Affliction will not rise up a second time.” within me.
Thank you Father that “The power of the Lord is present to heal you.”and me. In Jesus’ name I pray Your Words back to Your memory Lord, that You would see me, Your humble daughter, and bestow upon me Your healing touch. Amen.

 

Thank You for Reading. Andrea

Thank You for Reading.
Andrea

keep calm blog

31 Days Journey to Healing

31 Days Journey to Healing

Tuesday @ Ten

Tuesday @ Ten

afiveminute31 Days Nester


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The Point of Contact … the hem of His Garment | 31 Days


31 Days: Day 20

She suffered for many years with an issue of blood. She was not supposed to be out in public, she was considered unclean. Yet she said to herself …

 

“If I only touch His garment, I will get well.”… Matthew 9:21

hem

A point of contact and radical faith. She reached out, breaking all the rules and touched the hem of Jesus’ garment and was healed. At her wits end, with nothing left to lose, she did the unthinkable in her society at that time in history!

She created a point of contact with Jesus for healing. Believing, using all the faith she had been given what she had heard, that He would heal her.

The story goes on to say that Jesus felt something leave Him and asked who had touched Him … Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment.

We sometimes suffer without the confidence that He will heal us. Sometimes we cannot wrap our heads around the faith we have been given and just receive; so we continue to suffer.

Lord, I thank You that in the midst of my Praise and Worship of You I have found a point of contact. That etheral touch that I feel as I enter in and You respond to me. Oh how wonderful that Fatherly response feels to this emotionally fatherless daughter. That point at which I allow myself to feel, sense, the manifestation of wholeness within the core of my very being. Oh, but I ask, Oh Lord, that You teach me to retain that feeling, that permenant knowing that I am completely healed and whole. My Salvation gift of grace from a father thrilled with our reconciliation! All the glory and honor to You, my Lord, as my healing manifests within and without me. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Do you need a point of contact today? Do you know when you are in the presence of God the Father? If you do that is your point of contact. I encourage you to soak in that; whether it’s prayer, or a quiet time or praise and worship – where ever it is that God meets you, meet Him there and bask in that healing, until that healing is a permanent reality! God Bless.

Thank You for Reading. Andrea

Thank You for Reading.
Andrea

31 Days Journey to Healing

31 Days Journey to Healing

afiveminutekeep calm blog31 Days Nester


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Looking Forward to Spring … Venting vs. Complaining


Looking Forward to Spring

Looking Forward to Spring

The rough in our lives is abrasive these days and I feel like this blog has gone from being positive to a place where I complain in the guise of venting.

What do you think?

Seriously, let me know in the comment if you feel as though I complain too much here.

After all this is supposed to be about Living Positively On Purpose!

“Do all things without grumbling or questioning,”~ Philippians 2:14

That being said and asked what is the difference between venting and complaining.

Complaining and venting look very similar, however they are vastly different.

Venting is blowing off steam. The goal of the vent is to get rid of the negative feelings about a situation and can be done alone. Venting does not require an audience; many vent through prayer, music outlet and, or  physical activity, etc.

A good vent helps the person refocus on positives in their lives and keeps the mind focused on a solution. The result of a good vent is that the person feels mentally, spiritually and emotionally better.

Complaining, on the other hand, is a destructive pattern that requires a captive audience to dump on. Complaining has no clear goal for release and the person doesn’t feel better when they are done.

I am finding with this post that I am venting. Whewww! I was really concerned, because my goal is to find peace in this life, we have here in Hutchland, no matter what the circumstance. And I must admit, that at least within myself, I have felt some definite strife. Again, it’s a matter of controlling my natural desire for things to be about “me, me, me”, for once and calming that strife with the Word of God and good counsel.

My friend of good counsel does not allow complaining or self involvement. She does recognize that I need support, often, but does not allow the “woe is me” syndrome to take hold. And for that I am grateful.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” ~ Ephesians 4:29

So I vent … here and to my friend, and afterwards I can honestly say I feel better. I have worked with God and friends he has blessed me with, to get me to this place of venting and not murmuring and complaining about this life He blessed me with.

“Take good counsel and accept correction—that’s the way to live wisely and well.We humans keep brainstorming options and plans,but God’s purpose prevails.” ~ Proverbs 19:20-21

As the snow falls, yet again, here at the Jersey Shore, I am diligently seeking peace and quiet in my today. There are many who need my help today, I’ve already counseled 2 and while I feel a bit frustrated and put upon (because they are NOT venting!), I know that I have the tools and outlets to keep things in perspective.

How do you vent?

Do you feel better when you are done?

I encourage you today to examine whether you are complaining or venting. My go to solution for the circumstances here in Hutchland is prayer, worship and the Word, I find that these things bring both peace and solution to even the smallest of problems in my day.

God Bless.

 


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Praising God for Who He is …


Blue Skies

‘The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake.”‘ 1 Kings 19:11

This was so apropos for the last week here on the Jersey Shore and all of the Eastern Seaboard; but in reverse. As you know we had the earthquake before the Irene’s winds ripped up the coastline!

Those who have suffered loss of loved ones and property may be thinking, “what is God doing?!” “Why is God doing this?!’

Well I am here to testify that God was not in the shaking, nor was He in the winds; and prayer prevailed through this storm!

Multitudes of people began praying before Hurricane Irene started her trek up the Eastern Seaboard. We prayed her weakened and out to sea. We prayed that there would be no harm to person or property … we prayed God’s sovereign protection. We PRAYED!

The overwhelming prayer for me, and I saw for others, on various social networking sites, was from the Book of Mark chapter 4:

37 And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. 38 But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?”   
39 Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.

Many quoted and prayed this before and throughout the hurricane; I know I did. Funny how God has people all over doing the same thing everywhere, isn’t it? Our pastor, my husband and I were discussing this just last Wednesday.

Did God know these possibly catastrophic events were going to occur? Yes, God knows the end from the beginning! However …

He moved His hand of protection before anything began to shake or the breezes whipped into winds! He set His people to prayer … and He set them to praying exactly His word, simultaneously!

Amazing … here we see Romans 8:28 in action! “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Many were called to His purpose … many obeyed and in all the events of the week God worked for the good of those who loved Him!

Jesus said: If you love me you will obey the commands I have given you this day. John 14:15

And I have been blessed to see the Mighty hand of God in these things! Prayer and obedience work!

The proof is in the after storm cleanup and the joyous affirmations we give one another that we not only survived the earthquakes and storms, but that we weathered the storms with little discomfort … no loss and no harm!

I can honestly say I have a completely different view on the power of prayer today … one I didn’t have just two days ago. Oh I knew it worked, without a doubt.

Yet, I had not seen so clearly God’s love and hand as I have these last three days! I know now if I obey the call of the day and I pray in preparation and continually in my day to day I will know the tangible presence of the LORD in my life, in my home EVERYDAY!

I feel I have been awakened! I feel more alive!

 I FEEL SAVED! I KNOW SALVATION AND LOVE!

So today when I see over and over again the scripture I began with 1 Kings 19:11 I know that there is a calling here. That this scripture is telling us this …

God did not cause the shaking or the wind or the rain … He was NOT in them or their wrath … but listen, if you will … LISTEN …

12 and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice … 18 Yet I have reserved seven thousand in Israel, all whose knees have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.” 1 Kings 19:12&18

God IS in that still small voice, the one our fear of shaking, winds and rain sometimes drown out … but if we listen …

 “if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14

I believe we did this successfully … I believe if we pray the scripture given today 1 Kings 19: 11-12 and believe that God is NOT in the troubles of our lives but in the solution; then I believe we will all come into the next level of intimacy with God the Father, our proven protector and provider!

We all weathered the storms this week, by perseverance and obedience in prayer and the Grace of God!

I would be remiss in all of this if I did not say this:

By the Glory and Grace of God I have weathered this storm! I am grateful to my God, He is MY God, who called me to prayer … who brought me first to a place of obedience and who allowed me to know and see His Mighty Hand of protection and provision. Not only in my life and house; but in the lives of so many loved ones and acquaintances lives and homes through these storms! Bringing us to the blue skies of today …

The Storm Weathered Blue Skies

Praising God for Who He is … Blessings Loves ♥


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Five Minutes of …Be(ing) Still with GypsyMama and my Five Minute Friends


So on Fridays, we take the dare to become Word Artists. To throw editing and proof reading and critically raised eyebrows out the window. We finger paint with our words – in pink and blue and dark purple. In glitter glue and bright green.

Just five minutes. No more. No less.

Come play word art with us, why don’t you. It’s easy. Lisa-Jo is over on (in) courage this morning with todays prompt.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word on the prompt, “Still.”
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Get a little crazy with encouragement in the comments of the five minuter who linked up before you.

When you’re ready give us your best unedited, post on the prompt …

STILL … Go…

” He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; …

Still

Which is easy in good times … and maybe even after the trials. But day to day I know that I forget to be still … I sometimes forget to be still.

“The Lord will fight for me and I will keep my peace.” Exodus 14:14

Sometimes I forget to be still in the fight of this life.

I love it when life is at ease and pleasant and still.

I remember wanting the time when the boys would talk and walk, thinking life would somehow become easier to decipher. I was alone with two of the greatest little guys on the planet! I wanted them to talk and be independent. And then somewhere in my singleparenthood I expected them to be more mature and independent…

I now wish I had been still … that time had been still…because it wasn’t and it isn’t and these guys are adults now and life is not easier.

There is a place I have found where I am still. In my spirit there is a meeting where I am able to stop time and recoup the day and seek solutions for the life that is doing everything but being still.

Prayer … Praise … Worship

God has guided me to prayer. I surrender in prayer … I commune with God where immediately waves of life, crashing around me are incapable of pulling me under and drowning out …

His STILL small voice. Under the wings of the Almighty where things are still and quiet and safe….

STOP!

Paddling to the Still

“Your innermost sense of self, of who you are, is inseparable from stillness. This is the I Am that is deeper than name and form.” Eckhart Tolle

Crash

“Uncontrolled, the hunger and thirst after God may become an obstacle, cutting off the soul from what it desires. If a man would travel far along the mystic road, he must learn to desire God intensely but in stillness, passively and yet with all his heart and mind and strength.”Aldous Huxley

Be(ing) Still

“Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.”  Hermann Hesse

Prayer

“Blessed are the single-hearted, for they shall enjoy much peace. If you refuse to be hurried and pressed, if you stay your soul on God, nothing can keep you from that clearness of spirit which is life and peace. In that stillness you will know what His will is.”Amy Carmichael

Mentions after the Five!

The surfer in these photos from last summer is one of my dearest friends,mentorm the assistant pastor of my church. and lead singer and leader of our Worship Band! She is the mother of 6 children and grandmother to 2 (yes, in these pics!). She is an incredible person and her ability to be STILL is amazing and I have spent the last 10 years aspiring and learning from this incredible lady. She has taught me so much about God and Prayer and Leadership and yes … STILLNESS. I love her deeply, much more than she knows, she sometimes takes me to God,when I can’t find Him, where He saves my life again.

These pics were taken on LBI in New Jersey … where I believe she is surfing at this very moment. She once told me the most beautiful experience she had with God was on the Atlantic Ocean …. much like you see in the first photo … and it began to rain. She said the music of the rain on the water was the most beautiful music and the most peaceful sensation she has ever enjoyed.

I try to imagine that … and my heart aches to know that kind of Stillness in God.

* quotes inserted after the five minutes…however they were found before the writing began.

Blessings Loves

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