I have been told, repeatedly, by my dear friend and life sponsor, that what God reveals He removes. The trick is to let God/Jesus be who He is, in me. My friends, I am here to tell you this is no easy task. Being that I am not an easy shell to crack, its a good thing God is the Almighty!
So where do I begin? The well of hopeannfaith’s emotions is bottomless. How, in all that is Holy, did I ever believe that I was in control of these emotions of mine? We do nothing without God, is Truth. Truth is, too, that I wanted to control things, and God being the gentleman that He is, did not force Himself on me. He is one of the two, who did not, I’d like to add.
On Sunday (today is tuesday) I wrote a blog that this one stems from. My anger concerning this situation and the gentleman causing it, has hovered over that last 33ish hours, like a storm cloud. The storm came almost continuously in that time. I am weary from the crying, the pain, the confusion. I am tired out from the praying and the attempts at understanding why I feel the way that I do. I know that I have asked God to remove these feelings from me, yet they do not go. I know that I am incapable of handling the revelations of this “reveal”. I thank God for His presence, as I face the ugliness of this spoiled onion layer.
I have felt in my spirit that this scripture proves that this man feels that I am “lessthan” in many areas…
Matthew 12:34B For out of the fullness (the overflow, the superabundance) of the heart the mouth speaks.
I have been taught, and its biblical obviously ^, that what is in my heart will come out of my mouth eventually. WE prove who we really are everyday with the people we are most comfortable with. I felt as though this friend of mine was repeatedly proving how he felt and thought, in regard to me,in this manner. In a way that is truth. This was not the first time he has spoken to me in such a harsh manner. I see no reason to accept someone’s rudeness and humiliating ways. Yet I was stymied and frozen by what I refer to as my “Grace Bubble”. My response would have been less than lady like and even less Christian.
Well now, its technically two days later and I remain in turmoil. This is NOT a test from God. Our turmoil is either a choice to suffer that we make ourselves or…its a “package” we sign for from the enemy. Either way, it is a choice we make. I know this is not comfortable news. Remember, I said that what He reveals in us He removes.
Let me clarify…What the Father reveals in us that is ugly, painful, frustrating and the like, He removes. After this painful metamorphosis, He then reveals the beauty of who He meant us to be in this and all situations.
Isaiah 61:3 To grant [consolation and joy] to those who mourn in Zion–to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment [expressive] of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit–that they may be called oaks of righteousness [lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God], the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.
So did this man watch his words and guard his heart. No, I don’t believe so. However, the only question I should and will concern myself with is, did I guard my heart? Did I watch the words in my heart? No, I know I did not. I just waited to say them later, not in a gossip manner, in an angery manner! I spoke them in “self” righteous anger, telling my husband and a a friend who helps me in an accountability capacity. All the advice was the same, and not what I wanted to hear.
So what is in my heart? Deep seeded, firmly seated anger, for men. What this is about I have some knowledge, however, what is being revealed is ugly in ways I had not imagined. The pain, even now, feels dirty, slimy, cold to the touch, lacerating, boaring, splitting…deadly. What can come of this I wonder?
Matthew 18:34-35 in anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from
If I refuse to get around this mountain, the result is quite evident ^! If I continue on this path of self-righteous rage I will be enslaved by the enemy until I repay all the damage I do. That sounds to me like getting out of credit card debt…unless you cut up the offending card and pay above the minimum payment, it will be a life sentence! With life threatening possibilities!
In fear and trembling I look to Father God. What? I cannot face these things! What if I am to blame, how do I pay for the things that are in that cold, dank well of hopeannfaith’s emotions? I cannot do this…yet it has surfaced.
My Life Handbook,
Authors: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John…with David, Isaiah and Ezeikiel;
Publisher: The Kingdom of God Press; isbn# 1
Psalm 7:10 My shield is God Most High, who saves the upright in heart.
Psalm 28:7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.
Notice how this whole situation revolves in the Heart area. Its about getting my heart right! Not self-righteous.
I am glad that I have remained in faith here, for the most part. It helps me to see the light, that the Lord has been faithful to bring the proper behavior to my memory, when I am in bad situations. I have also, with Holy Spirit power, had the presence of mind to remain in praise and worship. Thanking Him again that there is hard/alternative praise and worship music to appease my kenetic moods. A “BC” Headbanger can find appropriate music in the Christian genre for his needs! AMEN!
So if I am upright in heart, trust in my heart in Him, I will be rescued! My heart is jumping for joy and I will praise Him in song with my hands held high! How awesome is our God!
Romans 10:9-11 That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame
I am amazed to find that this has become a Trusting God issue as much as a heart and faith issue!
In my anger at this man, I was not trusting God to handle my fight. I was not being peaceful with my heart and mouth. I had let my emotions control the situation! I have to repeat this in case I’ve gone looney…I was letting my emotions control me and the situation, this obviously was not a good choice on my part. The enemy reminded me, that as a child I was made to believe that I was lessthan. I answered the door and signed for the package before realizing that the contents were broken. Thank God there is a return address.
So as the relief from this pain begins I’d like to share a charished scripture verse with you…
Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for me; I will keep my peace.
The meaning for me is two-fold, My Lord will handle my fights and enemies and I will have a peaceful life and My Father will block me from the battles, if I keep my mouth shut!
What is in my heart will be spoken, eventually! However, if I trust Him and allow Him to be who He is in me, I will not have to fight and I can keep my words peaceful.
I hope this blessed you.