I’m better today. The sorrow was muted, somehow. Everyone was better today, even the boy. I guess he’s not a boy is he? I was able to communicate at my women’s group today. Tolerance was low though. Having a hard time with the ladies who seem to me to be self involved. The younger ladies, they just are rude and self indulgent at times. They then have the audacity to bring correction or confrontation to the elder ladies. I just have a low tolerance right now.
I did however manage not to lose my temper or say something equally as rude back, in retaliation. I guess that is good. I am grateful that the Holy Spirit is close to my surface these days.
Gently he stops my first jerk reactions, I know this because I am powerless in my humanity to be kind these days. Honestly kindness is not my forte or nature. The Holy Spirit is soft and kind when I am not and has guided me expertly to a kinder demeanor.
As I look to the skies for my Father’s help the empty sorrow flutters in my heart. I thank Him for his grace and mercy as I continue to do those things I know to do, while remaining numb still. I am comforted by the fluffy clouds that float by…babies who have gone home find joy in these I want to believe.
It has been 10 days now, and we are better today, all of us. Looking up and Thanking God.