Learning to Live , Again, On Purpose.

Do not be moved…

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God’s Word is full of Promises…we need only trust in Him and His word.

For me, a woman of faith, this has been mostly an easy course for me. I do, though, know the difficulties that people have with faith. Two of my favorite men have had great difficulty with this concept and practice. I, being the control freak I am, and not aware of the intensity with which I clung to my illusion of control, had yet another epiphany. My control freak status meant, simply, that I was not standing as firmly in faith as I believed I was! I had become self-righteous in my faith! Imagine that!

This last 3 weeks, today, have peeled back several layers of the onion that is me. Saddness, grief, spiritual desolation (self inflicted) all worked for the good in the Lord. Thank you my sweet baby Shane, your presence in my life has been eventful!

I drifted through my grief, alone. Grief is done alone, did you know this? Yes, alone, no matter who is bringing the caserole or doing the dishes, alone. The hugs, the listeners, are all a blur. I appreciate all they did, I know who you are, but I was in a desolate and numb place, and chose, somehow to allow a distance between myself and my Jesus. A terrible thought, as this seperation was not at all intentional. I, in fact, just realized that I had done this. You see I spoke to God, asked questions, prayed, praised, did what I knew to do. Still, yet, a seperation occurred.

What I learned? The seperation is empty, and numb. By grace He never goes very far. In my diligence to understand my new “feelings”, emotions, saddness and sorrow, I fought to hear from Him. I do not believe that I was moved so much as I stopped and stagnated where I was when my sweet baby Shane went home.

I found my Jesus in the praise and have come to enjoy His presence in the Holy Spirit once again. Praise His Holy Name!

Psalm 62:6

He only is my Rock and my Salvation. He is my Defense and my Fortress,

I shall not be moved.

Psalm 121:2

He will not let your foot slip or to be moved; He Who keeps you will not slumber.

These promises were confirmed in my life through this time of loss and desolation. I am sure there is more to be gleened from this grief experience, there is always more, Amen. I am simply grateful that my faith, as small as it truly was, held out. I am thankful that His Spirit has returned to speak to my heart, mind and spirit again.

My God is a Good God all of the time.


Author: Hopeannfaith

Welcome, I'm Andrea ... HOPEannFAITH ... I write and take pictures as a way of expression. These are gifts given by a loving and indulgent Father, to a headstrong and stubborn daughter, with much to say. A semi-retired social worker/secretary, I now call myself a writer. I've published one internet article and written many blog posts. However, publishing does not make one a writer, anymore than taking a box camera to the park makes one a photographer. What makes one who and what they are? Well God for one ... formed me before the foundations of this world (Psalm 139); and many, many years after putting away my passion for wordsmithing and picture taking He gave it back ... in droves. I am a culmination of my choices and experiences. It is here that my experiences color the world in print and color. It is my goal to reach just one soul a day with love ... encouragement ... understanding or just letting that soul know that they are not alone where they are today. This is about creating ~ all of it. Creating a HOLY and SACRED place where the ugly truth can be healed and the beauty of a moment or a tear can brighten a day for the experience. Why HOPEannFAITH? Hopeannfaith is my inner child, and she is maturing, as she should have done all along. She is learning all about how Faith fulfills Hope. She is learning how to live. HOPEannFAITH ~ the wonder twins all wrapped up in one, me. These are my Journey Journals ~ written and visual. I welcome your company. I welcome your friendships. My Journey is in the light ~ although I have and will share the shadowy corners and the dark ~ so you know that you are never alone there. If we hold hands in the dark, and we walk, side by side, through the shadow, we will reach the Light together. In relationship with one another and with the Light. Blessings.

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