Learning to Live , Again, On Purpose.


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My Mother is on her way…will probably be here by the end of the day. I cannot even describe the distress this appears to be having on me. I feel so self absorbed in all of this. After thirty some years I can no longer handle these people and the effect I allow them to have on me. It appears I have wasted much time consumed with the desire to be important to and please my family. I have failed as miserably as I feel they have treated me.

I must honor my parents, the bible dictates. And honoring them is not what I do in my heart when I force myself to control them. Honoring them is not what I am feeling when I am embarrassed by them or my heart longs for them to be the picture of a loving family. If they cannot love their own progeny then how much do they love themselves. I ponder.

I really do not want to interact with any of my family. Their kinetic, caiotic energy saps every ounce of strength I have. And I donot have much of that left. I vow to the Lord that I will do my best. And I thank the Lord that what I cannot do He will do for me.

Honor you Father and Mother

Honor you Father and Mother

Author: Hopeannfaith

Welcome, I'm Andrea ... HOPEannFAITH ... I write and take pictures as a way of expression. These are gifts given by a loving and indulgent Father, to a headstrong and stubborn daughter, with much to say. A semi-retired social worker/secretary, I now call myself a writer. I've published one internet article and written many blog posts. However, publishing does not make one a writer, anymore than taking a box camera to the park makes one a photographer. What makes one who and what they are? Well God for one ... formed me before the foundations of this world (Psalm 139); and many, many years after putting away my passion for wordsmithing and picture taking He gave it back ... in droves. I am a culmination of my choices and experiences. It is here that my experiences color the world in print and color. It is my goal to reach just one soul a day with love ... encouragement ... understanding or just letting that soul know that they are not alone where they are today. This is about creating ~ all of it. Creating a HOLY and SACRED place where the ugly truth can be healed and the beauty of a moment or a tear can brighten a day for the experience. Why HOPEannFAITH? Hopeannfaith is my inner child, and she is maturing, as she should have done all along. She is learning all about how Faith fulfills Hope. She is learning how to live. HOPEannFAITH ~ the wonder twins all wrapped up in one, me. These are my Journey Journals ~ written and visual. I welcome your company. I welcome your friendships. My Journey is in the light ~ although I have and will share the shadowy corners and the dark ~ so you know that you are never alone there. If we hold hands in the dark, and we walk, side by side, through the shadow, we will reach the Light together. In relationship with one another and with the Light. Blessings.

One thought on “Daunting…

  1. Hey there… wanted to let you know that I am lifting you up in prayer.
    I too have gone through something like this; wanting the approval of others – needing it; but come to realize: I only need God’s approval. Yes, I still get frustrated by the emotions this brings me to from time to time; but know that God is my strength and He will see me & YOU through this.

    Recommend reading: Joyce Meyer – Approval Addiction: https://shop.joycemeyer.org/eStore/Products/JMM/PID-BK51.aspx

    God Bless, HL

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