July 17, 2007
Since we lost my grandson, Shane Jr. Holly blogged a letter to the baby venting her desire for Shane to talk to her. He was sullen today, but stayed home and straight. Holly went out and no one knew where she was, she returned straight also. I praise the Lord for that. They both are doing wonderfully in regard to their addictions. Not that it is not a battle for them both.
I Thank the Lord that He is with them and this family. I Thank Him that they are letting Him lead them on the path He has chosen for them.
Today, a month from our loss, I went and visited my uncle. He looked better than described. In an attempt to avoid being with too many family members I did not tell my mother that I was going. As things would happen she and Pop drove up right beside me. I was shocked to see what the medications have done to Mom. Pop seemed old and tired. I am sure he is, being that he is probably taking care of 99% of the house work and care of mom. Yet, he will not move back up here, where family is, and can help. I’m done suggesting it.
The visit was a bit tense. A cousin who doesn’t like me, for unknown reasons, since childhood. LOL!! Mom somewhere in bipolar land…other cousins talking trivalities and gossip, while not handling a sibling that is not taking care of things (their father) in a way that respects their mother’s need to be with her husband at this time.
Seeing my aunt in pain, while my mother makes lame attempts at comforting her. It is a sad time. I succeeded in not getting in the fray. I told my uncle I loved him and kissed his cheek when I left to go to my Grandma’s house for a short, positive visit.
It is the end of the day, and for the most part God has graced me with his peace. I miss my grandson, I ache a bit for my Holly and Shane. I know God has this and us in His arms. Just like he has Shane Jr. in His arms right now.