Learning to Live , Again, On Purpose.

Here I go again…glancing up…

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Good Morning All

Well today everyone in the family should be finally converging upon the great state of New Jersey. My Uncle died monday night at 8:30 pm. I visited my mom that morning where she proceded to do to me what she always does. I did not handle it well. I mean I lost my temper and tried to force her to get medical attention for a hurt leg. She refuses! Imagine a grown women allowing a whole family who is in deep grief to wait on her as if she were an invalid. The range of emotions I have are a constant ebb and flow, I don’t know what to feel at this moment.


Sad and Angry

Sad and Angry


I left her after she informed me that I do nothing for her and for the very first time did not go back or call. She has made her decision, I cannot change her mind. Seriously she made this decision on how to treat me many years ago. Whether immature or not, I have tried all of the things I can think of to garner her love and attention.  Orphans are sad creatures…adult orphans who did not realize they were abandoned, because the parents were there in body, is pathetic.

So I am sad and angry, yet again. Just more than a month since my grandson passes away, another family member passes. This feels like too much, yet I know that God does not give me more than I can handle. My sponser/friend says I’ve done things correctly…I don’t know.

I have to go to work.

I’m looking up…counting on God to handle this pain and sorrow.


Author: Hopeannfaith

Welcome, I'm Andrea ... HOPEannFAITH ... I write and take pictures as a way of expression. These are gifts given by a loving and indulgent Father, to a headstrong and stubborn daughter, with much to say. A semi-retired social worker/secretary, I now call myself a writer. I've published one internet article and written many blog posts. However, publishing does not make one a writer, anymore than taking a box camera to the park makes one a photographer. What makes one who and what they are? Well God for one ... formed me before the foundations of this world (Psalm 139); and many, many years after putting away my passion for wordsmithing and picture taking He gave it back ... in droves. I am a culmination of my choices and experiences. It is here that my experiences color the world in print and color. It is my goal to reach just one soul a day with love ... encouragement ... understanding or just letting that soul know that they are not alone where they are today. This is about creating ~ all of it. Creating a HOLY and SACRED place where the ugly truth can be healed and the beauty of a moment or a tear can brighten a day for the experience. Why HOPEannFAITH? Hopeannfaith is my inner child, and she is maturing, as she should have done all along. She is learning all about how Faith fulfills Hope. She is learning how to live. HOPEannFAITH ~ the wonder twins all wrapped up in one, me. These are my Journey Journals ~ written and visual. I welcome your company. I welcome your friendships. My Journey is in the light ~ although I have and will share the shadowy corners and the dark ~ so you know that you are never alone there. If we hold hands in the dark, and we walk, side by side, through the shadow, we will reach the Light together. In relationship with one another and with the Light. Blessings.

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