Learning to Live , Again, On Purpose.

I felt a shift…It caused me to Look Up…

Leave a comment

The funeral was today. A short service with the family’s Pastor. A really nice service was held. I was touched by the fact that my uncle had quite a relationship with his Pastor. They knew each other well. The service had so much more depth of meaning because of it. There was prayer and hymns, not my flavor, but then it was not my funeral. I would want Praise music, contemporary! My family would lose hair, I think I’d pick Third Day’s God of Wonders and Chris Tomlin’s How Great is our God with some MercyMe in there too. I said my goodbyes and came home.

I checked my email, because I am alone now.  2/3s of the Boys Club is at work again and the 1/3 is at the beach. In my email was a devotional that confirmed a sensation I had on my way home.

The sensation felt as if I was a bit taller. A bit wiser in my heart of hearts, somehow…I felt a shift within my Spirit and I smiled, not really knowing what was happening within me. Yet, knowing that it would be revealed and soon. I had none of my usual frustration at not being able to decipher what was happening, no nagging questions or concerns. Just a peace that something vital within me was changed, shifted to it’s rightful place.

I thought a bit, and oddly felt beautiful. Imagine. I felt a beauty sweep over me, as if it were a feeling or an emotion.  A calm, mature knowing that I was more of who I am supposed to be at that passing moment, and that it would remain. What God put together let no man put asunder…not just a wedding, not just a couple. But a person, a being, a relationship with the Father. What God has put together let no man put asunder.

I want to share a bit of this devotional with you. I encourage you to check this devotional out and subscribe to the devotional. It is amazing to read, it will do your heart good. :

Daily Motivation from A New Thing Ministries

Here is the meat of this particular devotional:

Everywhere I have turned the last couple days I am hearing the same thing;  August is the month of new beginnings.  Now, I understand we hear these things all the time but I know in my spirit that this one is for real.

How do I know?  I am already seeing the effects of it.  God had told me a couple days ago that August was the month of new beginnings.  Later, I got on my computer and someone had sent me an email of a prophecy that August was a month of new beginnings.  Then the Lord spoke this to me;  it’s a month of new beginnings, a new season, don’t take any of your old baggage into your new season.

That’s a really good word – so I told the Lord, ‘okay, well, then there are some things I need for you to take care of before August 1st.’  It was that simple – and He did.  All my old baggage left yesterday – I am walking into the new season with no baggage at all, only great expectations!
God has gifted me with the ability to understand and know spiritual times and seasons and one thing I know – today begins a new season.  It is not going to happen – it is happening now!  Right now, as you are reading this, the old season has passed away and God is doing a new thing!  Right now, it is happening.
Now, if you weren’t prepared for this word, don’t be concerned, simply ask God to show you any old baggage and drop it today and determine that you are walking into your new season with no baggage.  God can get rid of all your baggage in a moments time.
He desires for you to leave the past behind – don’t let the past ruin the future he has for you – let it go.  All those hurts and disappointments – let them go.  Choose to trust one more time.  Believe one more time.  Move forward and press into Him one more time.
There is a scripture that says disppointment makes the heart sick but when the promise comes, it is the tree of life.   That scripture has been on my heart the past couple days – I am seeing the tree of life in my own life. 
There is a time when everything lines up spiritually, when that happens – everything in the natural must line up as well – that is the time we are in.  Things are lined up spiritually in a way they haven’t been for a hundred years – the natural must follow.
For me this meant an end to this season with my family. Good Lord it has been a true lifetime. If your new to this blog, I have been most of my life in a tug of war with my immediate family. The tug of war where I desire some recognition and love from my parents, and they just drop their end of the rope.
The devotional meant an end to my turmoil. I’ve broken through and my boundaries have held. How? You may be asking. Well, I’ve worked hard at letting God make changes in me. The hard part by far was the letting God part! For the last two years at least I have set boundaries and relinquished my control issues in regard to my parents and siblings. I no longer allow myself to get wrapped up in the sorrow and resentment of begging them to love me.  To clarify, they love me in their fashion. But, their fashion is not anything one would describe as normal or even reasonable.  After a lifetime I had come to a point that I desperately desired these normal relationships with my family, but prefered the distance that 4 to 6 states provided me.
Well that was what the shift was about. This battle has been won and I was victorious by the grace of God. I give Him now and always all of the glory and honor. On my own I would be a drunken broken soul somewhere by now. This portion of the devotional was spoke tomes to me:

He desires for you to leave the past behind – don’t let the past ruin the future he has for you – let it go. All those hurts and disappointments – let them go. Choose to trust one more time. Believe one more time. Move forward and press into Him one more time.

There is a scripture that says disppointment makes the heart sick but when the promise comes, it is the tree of life. That scripture has been on my heart the past couple days – I am seeing the tree of life in my own life.

Proverbs 13:12

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
      But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life. 

For a life time my hope was deferred, put aside for a later time. Each time I went the extra mile and was then rejected my hope was disappointed. They did not know what they were doing, I pray. They did not know any better. I feel sad for them, now.

I learned, after my salvation,  that there were promises. Being shy about expecting promises to be honored it took me these many seven years to get this revelation!

The tree of life and it’s fruits were always for us. However, we had to earn the fruit, the understanding, without the mind of Christ we would spoil the truth. Heck, the human race is spoiling it even now. Yet, it is still ours, but only through relationship with the Father through the Son!

He promised me a garment of Praise for mourning. Today, August 1,2008…

I have recieved that garment. It is light weight and allows me to stand taller with my head held high (my sensation of being taller).

He promised me beauty for ashes! Today, August 1, 2008…

I have recieved my beauty. It washes over me, even now. Waves of comfort and peace…Serenity, real Serenity.

The chains I have been bound to, the slavery to a wanton desire for acceptance has been fulfilled by God the Father. I am free of this thing. 

I Look up today, as in Psalm 121, knowing who my Savior is. I thank Him for the price He paid for me and sing these psalms to Him alone. He asks that I leave this past behind me and I will humbly and in relief be obedient, finally to His soft urgings. I repent for my stubborness and ask His forgiveness and feel as I write this tiny prayer testimony that forgiveness extended.

I am blessed that my Father answers me immediately. I wait to see the blessings that are provided within me and my family from this kind act of God. I look forward to, though with some guard, to the new relationships with my family. It really is none of my concern how they choose to react to these changes in me. Though I do not truly understand that concept as reality, yet. I know that God will reveal that when the time comes. Until then I will continue to Look up and do the next right thing. This is what freedom feels like!

Freedom! LOL

Freedom! LOL

Loved this pic! I find freedom from my caios on my iPod Shuffle! Praise and Worship in a cacoon! LOL!

Blessings All.      

Author: Hopeannfaith

Welcome, I'm Andrea ... HOPEannFAITH ... I write and take pictures as a way of expression. These are gifts given by a loving and indulgent Father, to a headstrong and stubborn daughter, with much to say. A semi-retired social worker/secretary, I now call myself a writer. I've published one internet article and written many blog posts. However, publishing does not make one a writer, anymore than taking a box camera to the park makes one a photographer. What makes one who and what they are? Well God for one ... formed me before the foundations of this world (Psalm 139); and many, many years after putting away my passion for wordsmithing and picture taking He gave it back ... in droves. I am a culmination of my choices and experiences. It is here that my experiences color the world in print and color. It is my goal to reach just one soul a day with love ... encouragement ... understanding or just letting that soul know that they are not alone where they are today. This is about creating ~ all of it. Creating a HOLY and SACRED place where the ugly truth can be healed and the beauty of a moment or a tear can brighten a day for the experience. Why HOPEannFAITH? Hopeannfaith is my inner child, and she is maturing, as she should have done all along. She is learning all about how Faith fulfills Hope. She is learning how to live. HOPEannFAITH ~ the wonder twins all wrapped up in one, me. These are my Journey Journals ~ written and visual. I welcome your company. I welcome your friendships. My Journey is in the light ~ although I have and will share the shadowy corners and the dark ~ so you know that you are never alone there. If we hold hands in the dark, and we walk, side by side, through the shadow, we will reach the Light together. In relationship with one another and with the Light. Blessings.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s