My Uncle Lee’s viewing was this evening. I was really stressed, it progressed throughout the day, until I realized that I was having mild anxiety attacks. I began praying in tongues and thanking the Lord of my life for His faithfulness to me. I have to admit I probably caused most of my issues today. However, with consistant prayer I did well.
My family behaved mostly in a milder version of their usual behavior. I thank God for this. I stressed about my mother and brother, and God handled it for me. While my mother spoke about my uncle, her brother-in-law, I prayed in tongues and I believe this helped both my mother and I get through it.
The VFW performed a ceremony and my father participated in it. I was impressed by all of Military presence in the room. My cousin’s 20 year old son, a Marine, in full dress. Matt is leaving for Iraq in 3 weeks. Keep him in prayer. My uncles and father honoring my Uncle Lee’s patriotism. It was heart wrenching.
Finally my uncle’s Pastor spoke and he shared that my uncle, who I know was saved, spoke to him regularly about Jesus. My uncle knew he was dying for months. I believe he made his peace with God and was at peace with that as well. The Pastor used these scriptures to eulogize my uncle, it was touching and many of us could speak the scriptures with him. With all my issues about my family, I have to say God spoke loudly this evening for me to hear. These people are saved. No matter their worldly behaviors and human natures they are His children. I am overjoyed by this, thank you Jesus.
These beautiful scriptures gave us comfort in the knowledge that our loved one is home with the Father. Jesus said…
I believe even the un-believers in the room were comforted by this. If there were un-saved in the room.
My brother and his fiance showed up near the end. This made me nervous again. So much pain and animosity between us. I forgive him for the pain he has cause, yet I must use wisdom. I counsel with my sponser to control the rage and sorrow of my life with my family. My brother, I miss him, just is not safe for me to deal with now. This makes me sad, very sad.
So I go to bed this evening in prayer. That my family have peace and joy. That somehow they understand what it is I have to do now to survive. I thank the Lord Jesus Christ that he lent me his words and countenance today. That He held my trembling heart in His hands and that my heavenly Father held each of my tears in his hand.
I’ve lost two loved ones in just over a month. My humanity stands amazed that I can survive that, with the plans and hopes I had for Shane Jr. and the memories I am left with for my uncle. It amazes me that God made us strong enough to deal with this.
Let not your heart be troubled…God has this!
The funeral is tomorrow…