Learning to Live , Again, On Purpose.

I am Looking up from the bottom of the well again…

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Reaching out

Reaching out

Come unto me…

Matthew 11:28

28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

For days I have been depressed…not sad, I know now that sadness is quite different. I have been isolating, and could not figure why. Why I felt the way that I did.

Last week it began, partly due to hormonal reasons…the joys of the mid-life woman. Well I rebuke that midlife thing, scripture states that I can live to 120 years! and I plan to! That means I am only a teen. Back to the subject at hand…last week…

My first mistake was not attending the Monday meeting and after meeting. We are studing 12 Step Christianity. The rest of the week went down hill quickly! A warning to my avid readers: Isolation is a horrible demon…it slowly bleeds away your will to survive. Maybe this afternoon I will do a Word devotional on isolation and the warnings…

This morning, for the first in three days, I read my devotional. Again the 1939 version of My Utmost for His Highest…Oswald Chambers states:

” Never allow the dividing up of your life in Christ to remain without facing it. Beware of leakage, of the dividing up of your life by the influence of friends or circumstances; beware of  anything that is going to split up your oneness with Him and make you see yourself seperately.”

Well ladies and gentleman, that is what isolation does, it causes a seperation, causes one to see themselves seperate from. Not just from friends and family. But, from the presence of God, as well. So much for the Word devotional.

I’d like to welcome the Holy Spirit back at this time. I give Him my will to do with as He pleases, as He is apparently doing as I write.

I seperated from fellowship, I went to church on Sunday, skipped my faith based AA meetings on Monday, leadership homegroup on Tuesday and went to church on Wednesday and was seperated by then. I had stopped receiving. Between hormones and fatigue, I had cut myself off of the lifeline that had been created by Jesus and I.

God meant for us to stay connected to Him always. It was never meant for us to weary as we do. Yet we do weary… Chambers states: ” It is never God’s will that we should be anything less than absolutely complete in Him. Anything that disturbs rest in Him must be cured at once, by coming to Jesus.”

I need to quiet the disturbance in me. Whether the disturbance is rooted within or comes from without, it is I who has an issue. The disturbance in me is quieted only by relationship with Jesus. It cannot be ignored or set aside for later. It must be dealt with, given to Christ to deal with. The answer lies there.

I am grateful to God that He is faithful to me. That He does not leave me in myself.


Author: Hopeannfaith

Welcome, I'm Andrea ... HOPEannFAITH ... I write and take pictures as a way of expression. These are gifts given by a loving and indulgent Father, to a headstrong and stubborn daughter, with much to say. A semi-retired social worker/secretary, I now call myself a writer. I've published one internet article and written many blog posts. However, publishing does not make one a writer, anymore than taking a box camera to the park makes one a photographer. What makes one who and what they are? Well God for one ... formed me before the foundations of this world (Psalm 139); and many, many years after putting away my passion for wordsmithing and picture taking He gave it back ... in droves. I am a culmination of my choices and experiences. It is here that my experiences color the world in print and color. It is my goal to reach just one soul a day with love ... encouragement ... understanding or just letting that soul know that they are not alone where they are today. This is about creating ~ all of it. Creating a HOLY and SACRED place where the ugly truth can be healed and the beauty of a moment or a tear can brighten a day for the experience. Why HOPEannFAITH? Hopeannfaith is my inner child, and she is maturing, as she should have done all along. She is learning all about how Faith fulfills Hope. She is learning how to live. HOPEannFAITH ~ the wonder twins all wrapped up in one, me. These are my Journey Journals ~ written and visual. I welcome your company. I welcome your friendships. My Journey is in the light ~ although I have and will share the shadowy corners and the dark ~ so you know that you are never alone there. If we hold hands in the dark, and we walk, side by side, through the shadow, we will reach the Light together. In relationship with one another and with the Light. Blessings.

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