Learning to Live , Again, On Purpose.

I am not my own…still looking up…

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Looking Up Again...
Looking Up Again…

Here I am looking to the heavens again.

“I am not my own”.

I revisit the concept that it is not about me. Yet…still…I remain in resentment!

” If any man come to me and hate not….” ~ Oswald Chambers writes…To say ” I have not my own” is to have reached a great point in the deliberate giving up of self.

The deliberate giving up of self…I know this is required of me, to give myself to the Lord, for His good service. I believe I do my best, however I end up right here, again, dealing in anger. They tell me it is a process.

Chambers continues ~ ” The Holy Spirit expounds in the nature of Jesus to me in order to make me one with my Lord, not that I might go off as a showroom exhibit.”

The process. I must conquer this resentment phase. The boiling of my blood, regardless of the knowledge that this is not what I am to do…regardless of the fact that I am not comfortable in my skin when feeling this way…So around this mountain I go…

I pray…Psalm 141:4

Lord I thank you that I “do not incline my heart to any evil thing, To practice deeds of wickedness with men who do iniquity; and do not let me eat of their delicacies.” I thank you that with Christ in me I can resist these feelings of self centeredness and self involvement. I resist and send back to the pit of hell all that is not of Christ in me. In the Mighty Name of Jesus, Amen.

As I look up to where my help comes from I realize that anger and resentment has the qualities of wicked delicacy…While it does not feel good and well within me…it still rises to the top in richness of emotion and vindication…

So easy it is to ask self…what about me, why me, why is always me…me…me…me…self sings while skipping off into the whirling dirvish of entitlement.

I resist and Look up…again…I do nothing alone!

Blessings All.

Author: Hopeannfaith

Welcome, I'm Andrea ... HOPEannFAITH ... I write and take pictures as a way of expression. These are gifts given by a loving and indulgent Father, to a headstrong and stubborn daughter, with much to say. A semi-retired social worker/secretary, I now call myself a writer. I've published one internet article and written many blog posts. However, publishing does not make one a writer, anymore than taking a box camera to the park makes one a photographer. What makes one who and what they are? Well God for one ... formed me before the foundations of this world (Psalm 139); and many, many years after putting away my passion for wordsmithing and picture taking He gave it back ... in droves. I am a culmination of my choices and experiences. It is here that my experiences color the world in print and color. It is my goal to reach just one soul a day with love ... encouragement ... understanding or just letting that soul know that they are not alone where they are today. This is about creating ~ all of it. Creating a HOLY and SACRED place where the ugly truth can be healed and the beauty of a moment or a tear can brighten a day for the experience. Why HOPEannFAITH? Hopeannfaith is my inner child, and she is maturing, as she should have done all along. She is learning all about how Faith fulfills Hope. She is learning how to live. HOPEannFAITH ~ the wonder twins all wrapped up in one, me. These are my Journey Journals ~ written and visual. I welcome your company. I welcome your friendships. My Journey is in the light ~ although I have and will share the shadowy corners and the dark ~ so you know that you are never alone there. If we hold hands in the dark, and we walk, side by side, through the shadow, we will reach the Light together. In relationship with one another and with the Light. Blessings.

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