Learning to Live , Again, On Purpose.

Just another Revelation from Oswald Chambers ~

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John 13:14-16 

 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.  For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.  Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him.

I chose the NKJ version, as I prefer it…

Chambers said of verse 15… For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.  That we should be aware of the people who God sends into our lives. That we will be humbled “humiliated” to find that this is His way of revealing to you the kind of  person you have been to Him.

The kind of person I have shown myself to be, in His presence. That is humiliating in light of my issues of the last week or so!  So why does He reveal ourselves to ourselves in this manner? Chambers thinks, and I must agree, that He expects me to treat these individuals the way He treated me when I mirrored what I see in them. The ultimate in humility. A thing which I do not possess, even on my best day, without His presence in my spirit.

As we peel away at the Onion that is me, God and I, I stand humbled. The rage with which I contend this day, it’s sources, some known, more unknown, stands at bay for this moment. I find even as I detest this phase of removal, that something in me wants a piece of the anger to remain.

The world tells us to forgive, but it is wise to remember…not so, I think. I have done that over the years, kept a piece of the putrid memory so to never allow a repeat of the acts perpetrated on the child of my innocence. I kept pieces for each perpetrator…and find almost 40 years later that the each of the small pieces of rotting memory have grown. Multiplied within me as instruments of wrath that are now projected upon people who have no connection to the original crimes.

The child of my innocence. So very young when she grew up, she possesses no real maturity. She rages against a monster fashioned from each betrayal and violation. Angry, so very hurt. She fights the removal of her armor, the safety wall she has built of brick and steel. Who is this innocent? Do I know her? She has hidden for so long. Only coming out briefly to remind her replacement to be vigilent when preceived terror shadowed about. She doesn’t like her maturity, her new growth. It feels like free falling. Nakedness for all to critique. Her soul bare to the elements of this world….She fights, in the being of me, the changes being made. Not understanding…

So God sends replicas for me to be kind to. To extend the love of God, when it is against all that the child of my innocence is able to do. Only with the hand of God am I able to extend kindness in this manner.

May You guide my every word and deed, Dear Lord. Today and everyday, as I am limited in my flesh to be as kind and forgiving as You were to me. Thank You for the Spirit of Holiness that you have sent to guide me in my blindness and anger. I give You, now, the glory and honor for any deed I do that glorifies You.

With the authority in me that is in Christ’s Name. Amen

Blessings All


Author: Hopeannfaith

Welcome, I'm Andrea ... HOPEannFAITH ... I write and take pictures as a way of expression. These are gifts given by a loving and indulgent Father, to a headstrong and stubborn daughter, with much to say. A semi-retired social worker/secretary, I now call myself a writer. I've published one internet article and written many blog posts. However, publishing does not make one a writer, anymore than taking a box camera to the park makes one a photographer. What makes one who and what they are? Well God for one ... formed me before the foundations of this world (Psalm 139); and many, many years after putting away my passion for wordsmithing and picture taking He gave it back ... in droves. I am a culmination of my choices and experiences. It is here that my experiences color the world in print and color. It is my goal to reach just one soul a day with love ... encouragement ... understanding or just letting that soul know that they are not alone where they are today. This is about creating ~ all of it. Creating a HOLY and SACRED place where the ugly truth can be healed and the beauty of a moment or a tear can brighten a day for the experience. Why HOPEannFAITH? Hopeannfaith is my inner child, and she is maturing, as she should have done all along. She is learning all about how Faith fulfills Hope. She is learning how to live. HOPEannFAITH ~ the wonder twins all wrapped up in one, me. These are my Journey Journals ~ written and visual. I welcome your company. I welcome your friendships. My Journey is in the light ~ although I have and will share the shadowy corners and the dark ~ so you know that you are never alone there. If we hold hands in the dark, and we walk, side by side, through the shadow, we will reach the Light together. In relationship with one another and with the Light. Blessings.

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