If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him.
I chose the NKJ version, as I prefer it…
Chambers said of verse 15… For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. That we should be aware of the people who God sends into our lives. That we will be humbled “humiliated” to find that this is His way of revealing to you the kind of person you have been to Him.
The kind of person I have shown myself to be, in His presence. That is humiliating in light of my issues of the last week or so! So why does He reveal ourselves to ourselves in this manner? Chambers thinks, and I must agree, that He expects me to treat these individuals the way He treated me when I mirrored what I see in them. The ultimate in humility. A thing which I do not possess, even on my best day, without His presence in my spirit.
As we peel away at the Onion that is me, God and I, I stand humbled. The rage with which I contend this day, it’s sources, some known, more unknown, stands at bay for this moment. I find even as I detest this phase of removal, that something in me wants a piece of the anger to remain.
The world tells us to forgive, but it is wise to remember…not so, I think. I have done that over the years, kept a piece of the putrid memory so to never allow a repeat of the acts perpetrated on the child of my innocence. I kept pieces for each perpetrator…and find almost 40 years later that the each of the small pieces of rotting memory have grown. Multiplied within me as instruments of wrath that are now projected upon people who have no connection to the original crimes.
The child of my innocence. So very young when she grew up, she possesses no real maturity. She rages against a monster fashioned from each betrayal and violation. Angry, so very hurt. She fights the removal of her armor, the safety wall she has built of brick and steel. Who is this innocent? Do I know her? She has hidden for so long. Only coming out briefly to remind her replacement to be vigilent when preceived terror shadowed about. She doesn’t like her maturity, her new growth. It feels like free falling. Nakedness for all to critique. Her soul bare to the elements of this world….She fights, in the being of me, the changes being made. Not understanding…
So God sends replicas for me to be kind to. To extend the love of God, when it is against all that the child of my innocence is able to do. Only with the hand of God am I able to extend kindness in this manner.
May You guide my every word and deed, Dear Lord. Today and everyday, as I am limited in my flesh to be as kind and forgiving as You were to me. Thank You for the Spirit of Holiness that you have sent to guide me in my blindness and anger. I give You, now, the glory and honor for any deed I do that glorifies You.
With the authority in me that is in Christ’s Name. Amen