HOPE*ann*FAITH

Living and Writing on Purpose: God * Life * Love * Realtionships * The Important Things.

Depression…

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The last devotional I remember reading, I mean really remember, was February17th’s the Initiative against Depression! I read others, however I don’t remember them much. I may have had a moment of revelation~ but is it revelation when it is truly only a moment?

In my written journal ~ it’s supposed to be 3 pages each morning ~ yet I can only manage 1 page~ I have found that I am depressed. And in my depression, is it a surprise that I do not care?

“Arise and eat”… 1 Kings 19:5 

I believe, no, I am sure, that one week ago this morning I wrote a whole inspirational post inregard to this devotional, on my other blog. So how did I get there from here?

I spent the rest of the week in bed, sick. For me it instilled the depression I was attempting to avoid. I guess the blah feeling was the beginning of the cold I had contracted. By Thursday of last week I was in bed feeling ravaged. I only left the house for church reasons the rest of the week, until right now…

So how do I feel today?….

“I don’t want to” is the theme. I don’t want to:  be awake. go to work. talk to anyone. do anything!

Ever notice how depression is all about the “I” in things? This feels very deep and foreboding. Dark and brooding…anger? Is it anger? If it is I cannot put my finger on what exactly I might be angry about just now, or in the last week. I mean aside from everyday frustrations.

So “Arise and eat”, Chambers says to do the ordinary things, until the Spirit rises and directs me further. His devotional says things, at times, that God has clarified for the Church since Chamber’s time.

Basically the devotional says that if we were not able to be depressed there would be no “capacity” for exaltation. Right now the church is teaching us that God never intended or brings on “depression” or any negative thing. And the Word of God clearly states the same. However, there is the whole Adam and Eve thing and allowing these things to exist. We brought them to the garden and now they exist…God did not enact them, but He did create all things, all concepts…our ability to think and reason these things.

Now, I do not believe that my being depressed is in anyway beneficial, at all. If I do not find my way out of this it will only deepen. Into what I fear to even think about the possibilities. These things tend towards prevelence in my family.

So the devotional says to wait on the Holy Spirit to guide me to the common things in my life, so that I might find God in them. “Arise and eat”.

So I will get up…I will read the Word, not just my devotionals, not just my memory verses…I will choose a book and I will read it, I will “eat” it. I will find in it the ordinary things God expects of me so that I may find my way out of this vortex I have found myself in…

I will Look UP…for my help.

Looking UP...

Looking UP...

Blessings!

I know I need them, so I extend them.

May the sun warm your skin.

May a touch warm your heart.

May a word spark a memory.

May your Spirit soar to God.

Have a Wonderful Day my friends.

Blessings.

Author: Hopeannfaith

Welcome, I'm Andrea ... HOPEannFAITH ... I write and take pictures as a way of expression. These are gifts given by a loving and indulgent Father, to a headstrong and stubborn daughter, with much to say. A semi-retired social worker/secretary, I now call myself a writer. I've published one internet article and written many blog posts. However, publishing does not make one a writer, anymore than taking a box camera to the park makes one a photographer. What makes one who and what they are? Well God for one ... formed me before the foundations of this world (Psalm 139); and many, many years after putting away my passion for wordsmithing and picture taking He gave it back ... in droves. I am a culmination of my choices and experiences. It is here that my experiences color the world in print and color. It is my goal to reach just one soul a day with love ... encouragement ... understanding or just letting that soul know that they are not alone where they are today. This is about creating ~ all of it. Creating a HOLY and SACRED place where the ugly truth can be healed and the beauty of a moment or a tear can brighten a day for the experience. Why HOPEannFAITH? Hopeannfaith is my inner child, and she is maturing, as she should have done all along. She is learning all about how Faith fulfills Hope. She is learning how to live. HOPEannFAITH ~ the wonder twins all wrapped up in one, me. These are my Journey Journals ~ written and visual. I welcome your company. I welcome your friendships. My Journey is in the light ~ although I have and will share the shadowy corners and the dark ~ so you know that you are never alone there. If we hold hands in the dark, and we walk, side by side, through the shadow, we will reach the Light together. In relationship with one another and with the Light. Blessings.

One thought on “Depression…

  1. man this hit close to home… today my little girl’s insistence was the only reason i got out of bed, i would have stayed there for hours if it weren’t for her. some days i wake up eager, others i want to fall back to sleep… yet every day, no matter what my mood, the lord has provided her to make me arise! will pray for you, and hopefully remember to KEEP you in my prayers more than just today!

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