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Hidden Layers…




                                                                                                            Psalm 139:14-16

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.



15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.


Psalm 142:2-4


2 I pour out my complaint before him;
before him I tell my trouble.



3 When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is you who know my way.
In the path where I walk
men have hidden a snare for me.

4 Look to my right and see;
no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;

no one cares for my life.


Psalm 119:10-12



10 I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.

11 I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.

12 Praise be to you, O LORD;
teach me your decrees.


Here I am again, dealing with yet another hidden layer of anger. It has been an incredibly difficult couple of weeks. Somethings are in physical disarray, like we are doing an office move at work. What looks like too many chiefs and not enough indians is causing misunderstandings and some outright rudeness.

God continues to bless me with scripture at the beginning of my days to stand up to what I face. It appears that my issues revolve around what I think is correct in what others are doing or not doing. And definately in the areas of respect and courtesy on the part of other people. It is about integrity.

Other things are in intellectual and emotional disarray. Apparently moving is an issue for me…can you say CHANGE? 

At home things have been tense, as well. Yet I remained in the word and listened for God and my family (sons) found favor. Both have job opportunities after months of unemployment. This is awesome. Some legal things that were looming in one of their lives was resolved in a manner in which  was requested in prayer. Favor.

Regardless of what I am seeing God has this in hand. And I know this in my Spirit. I am really blessed this way.

Yet what I see still causes my flesh, my being to rise up in what I see as righteous indignation!  But is it righteous? I don’t know.

All I know is that the last time I got this fatigued from frustration God broke something in me…so I am expecting a breakthrough of some kind, of a huge kind. This much frustration, when conquered, usually means big blessings. I am expecting.

So what I gleened from these scriptures that God gave me three days ago is this: God knows who I am, and knows what it is I am going to do in each situation. It is God alone who knows my way when I become frustrated in my walk…and it is always God alone I seek when I get this way.

So I put on my garment of Praise and honor my God, regardless of this current layer of rage I am physically feeling. God removes what He reveals, I understand…I just wonder just how much rage actually resides within me. How I long for this part to be completed.