Yet another shift. All of these shifts are physical. As if God, Himself, is putting me back together inside with His knowing and skilled hands.
I spoke with my good friend of the last eight years today. It felt distant, almost cool. As usual I initiated the call, she has not really reached out to me since she moved a few towns away.
I should not really be surprised, as the relationship, if I think about it, commonly relied upon me to reach out. Which I did willingly and knowingly. I mean it was a friendship, I didn’t really think too much about it.
The two of us have not spoken much since she moved into the apartment in a friends house. First it was the move, then she was settling in, now she says she’s busy. Yet her facebook says differently. But that is her business.
Today I called I was between tasks and felt as if I missed her. We talked a bit, mostly about her stuff, when I entered my thoughts into the conversation she said things like ” I don’t understand what you are saying…” and ” no”, mostly things that went against what I was getting from the conversation. It was telling.
So the transition is a falling away. Recently in sermons and daily devotionals I have noticed a theme of Friendship and Yokes. I have received no less than three devotions with the topics of friendship and being equally yoked in a friendship relationship. The question is…why the sudden change in the level of yoking?
I am diligently moving forward…I purpose, as I have said time and time again, to move forward on this path with God.
My friends, of late, have probably been frustrated by my desire to follow God in all things. Maybe they feel it is a phase, it is not. Being in recovery I have asked God to remove the things that are not mine. Interestingly many of those things were actually people. Not that they have been removed. They are just not my responsibility, at all or any longer.
This has a touch of lonely to it, honestly. Yet, I do not feel moved more than that about it. I am trusting, as always, in my Father, God to handle this. I searched for a prayer in regard to friendship today. My new favorite book, if you’ve been following forgive me, is Prayers that avail much®, by Germaine Copeland. In it I found a prayer for Healthy Friendships. I have adapted it to my new prayer-style. That is, my prayers are scriptural and in thanksgiving for what God has already provided for me.
~ Jesus did say it is done on the cross. He literally meant that all things were completed by His sacrifice.
Here is my prayer for the day:
Thank You Father, that you keep me well balanced in my friendships, so that I will please You, rather than than people. I thank You for courage and grace to let go of friendships that are detrimental. I receive, by faith, discernment for developing healthy relationships. Father, only You know the hearts of people, I thank You that I will not be deceived by outward appearances. Thank You for quality friendships that build stronger character and draw us closer to You. Lord I thank You for helping me to always be a better friend. Amen.
God may have me in transition. And I am grateful that I am there and willing to be transformed. This is my journey.