I haven’t been here in a bit. In fact writing continues to be an issue for me…stress and being too busy has blocked the writing. So I am trying with this blog to get the juices moving again! I did manage to write an article on Helium.com check it out for me and let me know…I thought it might be good. How to Define “Sacred.
Yet, I have two other articles on my heart that I am having trouble getting onto the page. In fact Sacred took me three weeks to get on the page. These articles, in the past, have taken me mere hours to write. Why, because I did them at the urging of the Holy Spirit…I was not blocked by my circumstances.
As in my last few blogs I have been dealing with family the last 3 months. Now, God has had me put my parents and siblings at arms length because the relationships were not healthy, for me. They are content with the way the conduct their relationships, but I am here to tell you our family relations were not and are not of the healthy kind.
When I got the revelation from God about what to do in regard to how I dealt with my family issues I began the long road to healing and good mental health. This process was complicated by (sorry guys!) menopause and my immediate family issues. It took a good 4 years to bring it all into working order.
God bless my husband and boys…they stood by me when I was insufferable. I am grateful for their dedication and love for me.
God succeeded in me and I came under obedience. Now…trial by fire!
One morning I awoke to my day to day and realized I was whole. Oh! What a joy that was…upon that realization the Holy Spirit washed over and through me as a confirmation that I was healed! My goodness there are no words for this sensation, this wholeness, this knowing that I had been instantly healed by the hand of God. In that moment I realized a knowing tha I have been successful in retaining…that only the Word of God is to be prayed.
Along with the healing and the wholeness, I had an instant lifestyle change! Think about that…an instant lifestyle change…that easy!
Now you may be thinking…Hope, you said 4 years of turmoil and work…that is true, but I went to bed the night before ill and mentally and emotionally broken and awoke the next morning whole and healed…over night.
I began to pray only the Word of God in all circumstances. When I awoke to another stressful day to day I went to the Word to find the answer and I prayed in all thanksgiving that the problem was solved. I put all of my trust in my God! I put all of it in His hands! And He moved…He moved mightily!
Again there are no words to describe this. However, I can testify that when we are obedient to the voice of God…not just the words in the book, but the Voice of God through the Word of God, when using the book to guide our lives. There are those of you who know exactly what I am saying! And will join me in the testamony that the results is out of this world…it is truly supernatural!
So my testamony!
I have been caring for my Grandmother. She has been ill for going on 3 months. In and out of 3 different hospital in two months…3 different incidents.
Finally with this last bout with her pacemaker (the last 2 incidents were pacemaker failure) brought her children together. Like my parents and siblings, they do not communicate well. My mother, being mentally ill, has issues dealing with the stress. And often feels like she is not loved or respected, enough.
I prayed the Word heavily about all of this for these long months. And God moved. They discussed what it is they all can or cannot do for my grandmother. Some of it was not to the liking of each of the siblings, but hey, that is none of my business. I managed to calmly stay out of it…until…
At the beginning of June I called my mother to see how my grandmother was doing…she was staying with my grandmother on a night when I had a church function I was obligated to. My mother, who had really not spoken to me since her arrival, was colder than usual so I asked the question. I had prayed about this conversation and thanked God that he would guide me in this conversation.
I asked if she had issues with me caring for my grandmother. The answer was like repeatedly being punched in the gut. She let out a venomous litany of scorn upon me…I was at a church fundraiser at the time. Thank God I am the church secretary and was in my office! She claimed disappointment and discouragement in me because she had been told that I was being paid to care for my grandmother! Like I said my family is not a healthy one.
I told her she was mistaken and asked why she had not asked me, and she simply continued to believe the gossip that had obviously been misunderstood. It made me physically sick for literally 24 hours! And I kept praying.
I called a “sane” Uncle so that I could return the gas money my grandmother had made me take, on the threat she would not call me for help if I didn;t take it. I knew she wouldn’t take the cash and I knew my Uncle could deposit it. My Aunt and Uncle were very upset by these circumstances and put me straight about the fact that what was between me and grandma was our business and noone else’s!
My mother had, once again, made me feel like an unloved 5 year old. I was so very hurt by the lies! She does this well. I know now it was how I was built by her. I was seasoned to take this from her and she relys upon my reactions…it’s her illness primarily. However, it does not stop the pain.
I was so very hurt by the disappointment that my mother professed. That I was a disappointment crushed me. Please realize that this is not the first time these things had been spilled upon me. So, inbeknownst to me it opened an old wound, in all of that pain I did not realize it. I kept hearing in my head that I was useless and a disappointment, that I shamed my family! It just kept rolling and rolling for 24 hours!
And then I prayed. With the help of my Aunt, Uncle and dear friend, JR, I finally remembered to pray for me and the circumstance.
Oddly, the morning after the phone call with my mother, my grandmother had the 3rd and final incident with the pacemaker. She went to Deborah and had surgery. That is when her children began discussing what it was would be done to insure their mother’s quality of life.
The surgery went well, and I am back to caring for grandma,. Mainly medical appointments and some overnight stays with her. Mom (mine) has had a change of heart (as much as she can, we will see, I don’t hold out a lot of trust in this as here illness usually interferes) and I continue to pray for peace in our entire family. And God is moving!
The greatest thing ever is my grandma! We were sitting in the surgeons waiting room for a followup yesterday and she was looking quite tired. I said something, and she said ” I don’t feel as well as I did 3 days ago, and I knew why this morning.” I indicated that I was listening and she continued, ” I realized that it was because you have not been over to lay hands on the surgery site and pray!” I pulled her wheelchair to me and held her hands and I prayed right there in the doctor’s waiting room. She closed her eyes and appeared to relax. When I finished we talked about God and the Word. She was feeling guilty because she had not been reading the bible much anymore…she said ” I can remember some parts of scripture and then I don’t remember the rest.” I told her what the word says about the Holy Spirit bringing the Word that we hide in our hearts to our rememberence, when needed.
I reminded my grandmother that she had spent many decades reading God’s Word and now God was keeping the promise to bring what she needed to her. Through memory, through me and through my cousin Pete who is a new and hungry Christian!
I am awed by the favor God has given me to be one of her grandchildren that has brought a new understanding of God’s love and the gift of healing to her. I’ll say it again! There are no words.
So all is going well. I am tired and stressed, yet the stress is somehow dull and not effecting me. I rely upon God and His Voice through the Word to sustain me…because God’s grace is enough for me!