First, Happy Valentine’s Day ♥
I was very busy that last two days. My love has finally moved me into the office.
Happy Valentine’s Day to me.
He even seems to like my quiet presence here.
Today, between putting my area of the office to my liking and respectfully cleaning off his desk, I read a few devotionals and the Facebook Valentine greetings from friends. I noticed a few of the women I follow in devotionals were discussing love and romance.
Romance, something I don’t understand, nor do I believe I was created to understand it. These ladies were not complaining about a lack of romance. They had come to a place were they were confessing in a way.
They were pointing out what they had thought true communication and romance were as compared to what they had come to know as true Romantic Communication.
I was glad to see that these wise women had come to the conclusion that was not the Hallmark version of Romance.
When you are married with children and careers, romance becomes something entirely different from Roses, Dinner, Wine and Chocolate. A mature love, whether you are young newly weds or an old married couple, is about investing time in truly knowing one another. When we truly know one another our romance becomes about everyday joys.
I wrote this two years ago, and it all remains true today. Unlike the roses that will fade and dry, the wine that will lose its flavor and the chocolate that, let’s be honest won’t last the week, this relationship my love and I have built is solid and forever. This is because we live and love each day by choice, truly waking and wanting to love the other.
I updated my article, not much as this remains true to our love; Do You Love Your Husband, that I wrote on Helium, around this time 2009.
It really remains true. I am blessed.
Please enjoy this love letter about my love while I go and clean the kitchen from our Valentine’s Dinner and Jeopardy Date! That’s romantic to us. 🙂 Really, having times during the week that we set aside to enjoy the things we enjoy together and each other is our Everyday Romance.
Eight years of marriage; not much, some would say. Yet others would find that amazing.
Yet, our together began twenty-two years ago.
So much has happened in this vast amount of time.
Growth and learning, striving and working, life moving at the speed of light.
Time, during which miraculously, our spirits knit together. By twenty some years of purposeful love.
We realized very early on that love is not a feeling. In these twenty some years we have learned: if the feeling love is what we used to knit, unraveling would soon occur.
No, we came to know that love is an act that we had agreed to choose. All intelligence aside, yes we are a learned two, we found that love is the result of that striving, growth, learning and work, that we put forth.
Now has it been easy? Yes would be a lie. There were days, many, when friendship saved the day. We both had very difficult relationships with others, before the us we are today. Only after much personal searching did we launch this relationship. At first, each vowing inwardly, unbeknownst to the other, that this was the last shot.
For many years, I believe it was four, friends and family thought they knew. But no one was ever sure. We each had children between us, from those difficult relationships. In the beginning it was their hearts we protected, our four little tikes. Our hearts, desires and necessities took second, third and fourth places, behind those little hearts. We hid our budding relationship from anyone it might hurt.
We loved, lived and supported one another. Building from a foundation of friendship, we learned that this was the most secure way. Our affection for one another was derived from genuine like. The time we spent with one another was platonic, even at night. We read, we talked and sat in silence, always secure in the thought that God had a sense of humor, and we were somehow alright.
Yes, I said God. We were not practicing any religion. And God knows we were not following any commandments. Yet, somehow deep within us, we both came to the same revelation. The knowledge that God had put us together. We often look back and see His hand, amazed at His faithfulness to two souls who He meant to be one. To this day we believe it was for His own personal entertainment. I mean our creator is a funny guy.
The differences in our beings complement the other, naturally. Enhancing that, from across a room we can speak volumes with our eyes. We stop each other daily, knowing what the other will say. Still after all of this time we laugh, we laugh every day. And did I mention his smile still takes my breath away?
We love each other daily, through friendship and through truth. On mornings when I am not tip-top, my husband opens those striking blue eyes and smiles at me, starting my day again. Each morning we greet the dawn, with coffee in hand at one another’s side. We wipe the sleep from our eyes and begin another day. Our day to day is routine and secure in the knowledge that we have so much more.
We appreciate each other even when taking the other for granted. He tells me that I am beautiful and that he loves me every day. He even does laundry. He never says a disparaging word, even when I deserve it. I stand amazed at his fidelity and his fierce and honest love. Can anyone ever question that I’ve been blessed with this man’s love?
I choose this day, like yesterday, to love him everyday. I love him when he’s perfect and when he’s out of line. I love his body and his mind. I love his relationship with God. I love the way his heart betrays his macho when he speaks of our children in paternal love. I love that he wants for me what it is I want.
He encourages my dreams and imaginations. His eyes make me believe. I love that he’s smart and beats me at Jeopardy! I love that we like each other. I love that he chose me. I choose him over and over again, until eternity.
Do I love my husband? Yes, as deeply today as each day of the last 22 years.
Blessings Loves ♥ I wish you love and joy.