HOPE*ann*FAITH

Living and Writing on Purpose: God * Life * Love * Realtionships * The Important Things.

Forgiveness…Have You Forgiven Yourself? Few Words Thursday…

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Let My Words Be Few Thursday

“Let My Words be Few” Thursday

Here at HOPEannFaith I am challenging myself to be concise in my writing, and I invite you to join me. It is my hope to write spirit filled, inspirational posts touching our Spirits, not just our minds and flesh. I also hope this will improve my writing skill set, while deepening my spiritual walk.

 If you would like to join me in this challenge simply leave me a link to you ‘Let My Words be Few’ blog post or simply leave your post in the comments, and I will link your post into mine for that week.Your post can be about anything positive! The goal is to be inspirational while using the fewest words. You can see I’m still working on that, so there is NO word count requirement.

 You may use the Thursday if you like, but it is not a link…I don’t know how to do that! 🙂 I’m a writer not a techie! Just manually link the picture to my blog from yours and we will be good to go, and your readers will be able to join us.

Thanks for reading Loves! I welcome the company.

Blessings Loves,

Forgiveness was the focus I got today during my time with God. And how apropro…

It is my youngest son‘s 24th birthday, and if there is one source of overwhelming guilt in my life it is he.

Yet, I have worked against feeling this guilt, as it is not mine.  I’ve tried to forgive my seemingly ineptness with this boy, this man.

 So God brought it today, the subject of forgiveness, on his birthday! I would imagine this will be cathartic and a breakthrough will come for me…yet I am saddened that the breakthrough may not reach my boy…

but God…Let me be still and KNOW that He is God! ‘Is there anything to difficult for God?’ the bible asks.

Happy Boy

 

Joyful Boy

Joyful Boy

 

Sweet, Sad Eyed Boy

 

The Man

 

 ‘Why are you downcast, O’my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my savior and my God.’ Psalm 43:5

I feel guilt that my boy aches,  from a past no child should have to endure.

Yet I had no hand in that harm.

I ache that this man is so angry, so sorrowful, and too proud to ask for help.

I hurt at his hand, his unkindness towards me. I believe he doesn’t understand. I pray he is mistaken in this behavior and understands that I had no hand in his harm.

This man is one place I am at my weakest…”Where you are most human, most yourself, weakest, there Jesus lives.” – Henri Nouwen

I wish, that I could have prevented…been there…stopped his (their) torture, earlier.

How does a mother forgive herself?

I do not feel guilt for everyday things like yelling too much, not listening enough…No my guilt is for things I could not have prevented or fathomed.

My guilt is because the scarred victim in me, so young, created a victim in him, for a time.

 Jesus said that forgiveness needs to happen seven times seventy times…a day…and the apostles asked that He increase their faith…Jesus answered,

 “and the Lord said, ‘If you had faith like a mustard seed, you would say to this mulberry tree,’Be uprooted and be planted in the sea.’; and it would obey you.” Luke 17:5-7

So I am planting this mother’s guilt in the sea…far away so that it cannot return. I put forth the effort, in faith, to forgive myself 70×7 times…again and again… 

Bonnie Gray at Faith Barista’s Blog said today…’Grieving continues after we’ve forgiven (even ourselves). That grieving person is who we were, hurt and angry. God still makes us new.’ How faithful He is to make us new each day with His mercies.

Yet I don’t feel new, especially those days when my boy battles and lashes out. Then I battle the grieving me who wants to blame and accuse me of being a terrible mother.

I haven’t hugged or even touched my boy in years…no one is allowed to. My heart cries to hug him, to comfort his pain, anger… even just a quick birthday hug.

Oh how I grieve for this self-destructive man. His struggle each day so fierce. His heart each day so hard, his words so harsh.

 I sometimes wonder to myself, ‘What have you done? What haven’t you done? Why can’t you fix this?’

Only God can fix this. This mother can only pray that the man allow God to fix this… Then I remember this boy, NO! Man, is saved. He has been to the altar at least 3 times. I pray God’s grace for my son, I know he walks in it, I pray he becomes aware of it.

“Even so, consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus – For sin shall not master over you, for you are not under the law but under grace.” Romans 6:11,14

Have you forgiven yourself today? 70×7 times a day…even once have you forgiven yourself?

It is understood that forgiveness heals us; you know, when you forgive those who trespass against you.

Have you trespassed against you? That same forgiveness required remains required even when forgiving means forgiving self…

You stand under the grace of God…He forgives you…more completely than 70×7 times a day…

What is your count?

 Blessings Loves ♥

This post was inspired by Bonnie Gray at Faith Barista, her blog scriptures and the quote were the ones that God sent me today, through Bonnie. Hop on over and be blessed by using the link. Thanks, A.

 

Author: Hopeannfaith

Welcome, I'm Andrea ... HOPEannFAITH ... I write and take pictures as a way of expression. These are gifts given by a loving and indulgent Father, to a headstrong and stubborn daughter, with much to say. A semi-retired social worker/secretary, I now call myself a writer. I've published one internet article and written many blog posts. However, publishing does not make one a writer, anymore than taking a box camera to the park makes one a photographer. What makes one who and what they are? Well God for one ... formed me before the foundations of this world (Psalm 139); and many, many years after putting away my passion for wordsmithing and picture taking He gave it back ... in droves. I am a culmination of my choices and experiences. It is here that my experiences color the world in print and color. It is my goal to reach just one soul a day with love ... encouragement ... understanding or just letting that soul know that they are not alone where they are today. This is about creating ~ all of it. Creating a HOLY and SACRED place where the ugly truth can be healed and the beauty of a moment or a tear can brighten a day for the experience. Why HOPEannFAITH? Hopeannfaith is my inner child, and she is maturing, as she should have done all along. She is learning all about how Faith fulfills Hope. She is learning how to live. HOPEannFAITH ~ the wonder twins all wrapped up in one, me. These are my Journey Journals ~ written and visual. I welcome your company. I welcome your friendships. My Journey is in the light ~ although I have and will share the shadowy corners and the dark ~ so you know that you are never alone there. If we hold hands in the dark, and we walk, side by side, through the shadow, we will reach the Light together. In relationship with one another and with the Light. Blessings.

3 thoughts on “Forgiveness…Have You Forgiven Yourself? Few Words Thursday…

  1. Pingback: Complicated Hangman Words | Hangman blog

  2. Pingback: Images of Jesus Christ | seven spirits of god | lord jesus christ

  3. Pingback: 5 minutes of Understanding from the Holy Spirit « HOPEannFAITH

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