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Growing in 5 Minutes …


A Wrinkle in Time

It’s the very end of the day Friday … the first full day of Autumn. Usually on Friday mornings I link up with Lisa-Jo and the Five Minute Writes over on The Gypsy Mama blog … where we throw caution and grammatical rules to the wind and simply write on the prompt from the heart.

No rules, no thought … just documenting where the heart goes.

I didn’t get to this this morning … and mulled it over and over and some more throughout the day. Funny how something so proactive and so forwardly positive can be so difficult to put into words.

So here I go, finally on this sticky Indian Summer Mid-Night … seriously at this moment it is mid-night …

Write with me on …. Growing

Go…

When we are children our parents mark our growth … some in cute and never finished baby books … some with pencil and ruler on a door frame. Documenting the milestones of a child.

I think God does this … but He does it on the inside …

Our first day of life …

Our first tear in the palm of His mighty hand …

Our first broken heart … and everyone since thereafter …

Our first kiss … love … child …

The milestones of a life.

My grandmother told me something about gardening this week. I personally have a black thumb … but her’s remains vibrant green at the age of 88. She said to root a flower that I wanted for my yard I had to prune the bloom.

The beautiful, vibrant blue flower had to be plucked to speed up the roots growth …

Later in the week, at my church’s mid-week service was about the pruning of the vine … John 15:1-8

I am the true vine ~ Jesus

Father, the Gardener ~ God

I think that’s where God has me … in the pruning stages, again. It will be ten years that I have been saved of my own choosing. Ten Years of saying I’m a Christian, truly meaning that my lifestyle had changed. Ten years of rapid growth in Christ … growth in fellowship.

Ten Years of covering my foundation with Christ and God and the Word and the real things and ways of life. Yet somehow, I have developed a bloom of religion. Things have happened, life has happened, disappointments have happened, and my Growth became stunted.

I think I became root bound … and now comes the pruning and the rooting …

God is pruning me of all the religion, all the pretty, right words that make it appear I’m living a Good Christian life … pruning the bloom, so that I can begin Growing again … on this vine onwhich He has so  graciously grafted me.

For this I am grateful!

STOP …

That was a bit over 5 minutes … and I have a photo to add. So once again, please forgive my wordiness! 🙂

And then I found this:

It just illuminated itself in relation to John 15:1-8 … God is amazing, I think!

GRAFT:  From Dictionary.com

a.a bud, shoot, or scion of a plant inserted in a groove, slit, or the like in a stem or stock of another plant in which it continues to grow. b.the plant resulting from such an operation; the united stock and scion.

This has been a 5 minute post!

Blessings Loves!


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I will not wish … Few Words Thursday and InLinkz


Imperfect Beauty

Welcome Loves … It’s Thursday again, and I’m going to attempt the Few Words rule … whatever that means, because as you know, I demand no real word count. So join me by linking up at the end, here, and share with us your heart. ♥

LORD, I pray, Let my words be few, so that I may hear You.

I found myself in the sin of fear, yet again. Not from any outward danger, rather from the demons within, that plague the Who of Andrea.

I have been confessing, confiding in trusted friends and mentors, my inner self criticism. That internal voice that says, continually, “You are not loved, liked, respected.” … “You are not good enough, see … they correct and admonish you … they tell you how to be, who to be, how to act …”. That laughing voice tells me there is nothing I can ever do to be good enough … and inwardly I cringe and hide in a corner of pain and self loathing.

Wow … did I just say write that!?!

and … as that voice chatters away, I seek God, yet somehow the voice has become a resounding din and it becomes hard to be still and hear God …

but … God, He is faithful … He loves me. In my heart I know this, but the enemy plagues my mind … my thinking … and I begin, yet again, to question … how could such a love be for me … and I enter the sin of unbelief …

Laughingly I believe myself to be a woman of faith … A WOMAN OF FAITH … how could I believe this and feel this way … well …

I do all this afraid, empty, tirelessly, no matter how much I don’t feel. Lean not on your own understanding God’s Word says … and this brings me to my new friend Jennifer and the words from her heart that pulled me up into “feeling” again. I encourage you to read her words: Friend I lean with you, God has used her mightily and I am eternally grateful that He led me to her heart.

In her blog she defined so eloquently, what I had been feeling. Trust me, when you do not understand where you are in You … how or why you “feel” the way you do or don’t … If you trust God … if you diligently seek Him, He will bring you to a place … He will bring you on of HIS GIRLS or guys to give you exactly what you need.

Jennifer’s heart:

“paralyzed by self-critique – so that I cannot even hear His true voice, reminding me how much I am loved, feel His arms around me, holding me to His chest, His hand in mine urging me toward where He plans for us to go, together.”

… paralyzed by self-critique … I’ve paralyzed myself by hearing the voice of that inward loather … the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy … killing my confidence even as God takes my hand … “urging me toward where He planned for us to go …”

I have found the enemy and he is me … adapted from Walt Kelly‘s quote.

US … I am no longer alone. No matter the inward or outward words of an enemy who seeks to paralyze the Andrea God meant me to be …

All those voices hurt my heart … all those words froze the dream that God gave me …

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. ~ Jesus

So joined with Jennifer’s heart I vow … “I will not wish I were more than who You have made me to be, Father.”

I will not wish I were more … because I am exactly who He made me.

I will not believe that I am less than who He made me to be, either. I will crush the words of the loather with the Word of God …

My God who: Fearfully and Wonderfully made me …

Loves … what voice are you listening to? Is the voice loving and kind?

We are not able, in ourselves, to stay true to the genuine creation of God, that we are; without Him … without His Word of encouragement. We are incapable of sustaining a selfless belief that we are the Wonderful He made us … no, we must lean on Him.

Thank you Jennifer … Blessings Loves!

Your turn … see, this was nothing close to a few words … so please write your heart and share it here, with us as Jennifer calls us … HIS Girls! 🙂

A Few Words Thursday @ HOPEannFAITH


Scriptures: 2 Timothy 1:7; Proverbs 3:5; Proverbs 8:16-18; John 10:10; Proverbs 4:23; Psalm 139:13-14

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While Thursday Remains …


Flawed

 

Welcome to what is left of Thursday. On Thursdays I try to be brief in my writing. I try to express myself in as little words as possible. I try to give encouragement in short strokes, so that you may find your way in your own way, maybe with just a little wisdom gleaned from my experiences.

Welcome to Few Words Thursday with HOPEannFAITH and FRIENDS … join us using the linky below. Blessings to You!

I haven’t written anything in about three weeks. I’ve been walking in the shadows all this time. Angst and discomfort just under my skin. Wondering who I might be, why I couldn’t feel. A friend pointed out that I could feel … that maybe the right description was “feeling empty” … that “felt” right.

So I wandered and wondered. How could I be pleasing to God when I felt this way? I was/am empty, sad, unhappy …

And then this evening I read this: Destitute at A Restless Heart.

I could not have expressed myself with such grace and clarity. Oh how I long to write like those ladies I follow! The flow makes their writing feel effortless … I picture lace curtains in a cool autumn breeze with a steaming cup of coffee at the ready, as they sit in linen and lace, with wispy curls at their temples, while delicate fingers tap away at a keyboard writing what I feel, yet cannot express so beautifully!

Ahhh … but I write, still.

The line in Destitute that is winding around in my spirit … hopefully to grow under a blanket of prayer like bread dough rises under a linen dishcloth, into a real blog post is this:

“…but religion is a product of man trying to do the right thing.” ~ Kelly Sauer

Kelly describes this place … what I call empty … as Destitute. And I agree with her … I believe God allows me to feel this emptiness …

We are vessels … and this vessel is cracked … all the “good” I try to achieve simply flows through the tiny cracks, draining my resolve, my energy … my very essence, leaving me to feel that it is futile. That this desire to ALWAYS reflect Him is beyond the Me of all of this …

Kelly has tapped a deep emotion in me … one that wants me to write until this post is unreadable. So rather than brutalize my faithful here I will leave this a true few words …. and ponder where Kelly’s soul is leading mine!

Thank you, Kelly … from the deepest parts of Andrea, thank you for your courage!

Blessings Loves.

This has been a Few Words Thursday Post!