Welcome Loves … It’s Thursday again, and I’m going to attempt the Few Words rule … whatever that means, because as you know, I demand no real word count. So join me by linking up at the end, here, and share with us your heart. ♥
LORD, I pray, Let my words be few, so that I may hear You.
I found myself in the sin of fear, yet again. Not from any outward danger, rather from the demons within, that plague the Who of Andrea.
I have been confessing, confiding in trusted friends and mentors, my inner self criticism. That internal voice that says, continually, “You are not loved, liked, respected.” … “You are not good enough, see … they correct and admonish you … they tell you how to be, who to be, how to act …”. That laughing voice tells me there is nothing I can ever do to be good enough … and inwardly I cringe and hide in a corner of pain and self loathing.
Wow … did I just
say write that!?!
and … as that voice chatters away, I seek God, yet somehow the voice has become a resounding din and it becomes hard to be still and hear God …
but … God, He is faithful … He loves me. In my heart I know this, but the enemy plagues my mind … my thinking … and I begin, yet again, to question … how could such a love be for me … and I enter the sin of unbelief …
Laughingly I believe myself to be a woman of faith … A WOMAN OF FAITH … how could I believe this and feel this way … well …
I do all this afraid, empty, tirelessly, no matter how much I don’t feel. Lean not on your own understanding God’s Word says … and this brings me to my new friend Jennifer and the words from her heart that pulled me up into “feeling” again. I encourage you to read her words: Friend I lean with you, God has used her mightily and I am eternally grateful that He led me to her heart.
In her blog she defined so eloquently, what I had been feeling. Trust me, when you do not understand where you are in You … how or why you “feel” the way you do or don’t … If you trust God … if you diligently seek Him, He will bring you to a place … He will bring you on of HIS GIRLS or guys to give you exactly what you need.
“paralyzed by self-critique – so that I cannot even hear His true voice, reminding me how much I am loved, feel His arms around me, holding me to His chest, His hand in mine urging me toward where He plans for us to go, together.”
… paralyzed by self-critique … I’ve paralyzed myself by hearing the voice of that inward loather … the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy … killing my confidence even as God takes my hand … “urging me toward where He planned for us to go …”
I have found the enemy and he is me … adapted from Walt Kelly‘s quote.
US … I am no longer alone. No matter the inward or outward words of an enemy who seeks to paralyze the Andrea God meant me to be …
All those voices hurt my heart … all those words froze the dream that God gave me …
So joined with Jennifer’s heart I vow … “I will not wish I were more than who You have made me to be, Father.”
I will not wish I were more … because I am exactly who He made me.
I will not believe that I am less than who He made me to be, either. I will crush the words of the loather with the Word of God …
My God who: Fearfully and Wonderfully made me …
Loves … what voice are you listening to? Is the voice loving and kind?
We are not able, in ourselves, to stay true to the genuine creation of God, that we are; without Him … without His Word of encouragement. We are incapable of sustaining a selfless belief that we are the Wonderful He made us … no, we must lean on Him.
Thank you Jennifer … Blessings Loves!
Your turn … see, this was nothing close to a few words … so please write your heart and share it here, with us as Jennifer calls us … HIS Girls! 🙂