I am blessed beyond measure … logically I am well aware of this. Yet I question what I find mundane in me; in my life.
Ingratitude I think. I want more.
I want … I get the wants; specifically on those days or weeks or months when material things are a bit tight. When I feel as if I’m deprived I become a depraved being of greed. I find it an ambivalently deep loathing, this ungrateful desire for something tangible, unattainable.
How depraved is the spirit that craves greedily when abundance is in their reach?
Abundance was supplied within our salvation.
Salvation was complete, lacking nothing that would be needed for the abundance.
We were provided for spirit, soul and body … freedom from sin, illness and torment was offered to us, for us, at the Cross.
So is this most human crave for more … to have the tangible to fill a void we perceive sin or torment?
Is it both? Is not our minds tormented by the memories and the worries of sin?
Yes, perceive … because that void has been filled to overflowing. That void is the Cup that was filled to overflowing that God speaks of in His word.
My human soul [mind] lacks the riches of contentment. That peace that comes from truly living in the knowledge that God has this in hand … all of it! In my humanity, when I am ignoring the Spirit that abides within my perceived void, I am entirely incapable of contentedness and slip deeply into the ingratitude of the “I want!”.
What I want cannot be attained without God … without falling to my knees in the depths of grieving sorrow, for the sacrifice that was made for me …
That sacrifice that would have been made if it were ONLY me …
This revelation that surfaced with this mornings light streaming through the lace … manifested from this renewed spiritual movement to press in to God; sparked by much time in the Word for bible studies, bible college and Pastor’s challenge.
I have dedicated this month to seeking what God truly has for me on this path He guides. Not what I want, but what He requires, what He WANTS. I honestly seek to stop this depraved sense of poverty that plagues my soul in times of material, emotional and spiritual quietness.
In the quietness I fill the void of mind with the Word so that I may remain unchallenged by my wandering imaginations.
Those times of distracted wandering of the mind when the liar slips in and whispers that the blessings I have are not enough to fill my cup … those times of denial when I simultaneously crave something more of, or in me while I am swabbing from the floor of my discontent the abundance that has so obviously overflowed!
Think about it … I cannot desire this “MORE” if I did not already know and possess the abundance … If not for the abundance “MORE” would not be realized in my discontented soul.
There is no need of more of me … or in me … or for me!
His grace is sufficient for me … for His power is made perfect simply in who He made me to be. 2 Corinthians 12:9
Today is one of those days I seek Him more determinedly; in my tight and mundane existence. A day of concentration on my many blessings; as I clean my home, gather the necessities for my family, be the good daughter …
A day that I purposefully remain thankful, while I do those things that the poor one in me loathes my existence; and prayerfully remain in thanksgiving that Father God has lifted me to a level where I am able to look down upon my failings, knowing that I am striving ever upward to His Glory.
What are you wanting today? Are you aware that your “perceived” void is in actuality filled to overflow with the love of a benevolent Father Creator?
Are you ready to seek what God has for you and leave behind that which you would have for yourself?
I think I am … I strive to be … Tell me your heart, let me and my sweet, sweet readers hear your voice on this journey we travel. You need not travel alone.