One Page at a Time.

one page, one story, one life.

Leave a comment

I believe … sometimes I need help with the doubt! the Me He created {Day 8}

I begin my prayers … I should say I end my day in prayer and worship and I begin my days this way, as well. Thankful, deeply grateful for my life and the gracious blessing of another day. I ask Him what He wants of me that day and I remain in this prayer state … wondering at His majesty and wonder, does He hear me.

Rejoicing in Majesty

I know that He does, in my head … it is my understanding that He answers. He has clearly answered me in the past.

However, I am striving here. Striving to be well and healthy in my body. Yet each time I move towards what it is the doctor has suggested I do, I have pain. So I do what I can and then adhere to the other suggestion the doctor made, rest when I am tired. Almost contradictory suggestions, I think.

This makes for some very frustrating and unsure strides. I don’t know if my body is losing what needs to be lost or gaining what needs to be gained … so I pray, feeling as though I am somehow hindering those prayers with worry unto unbelief. So I pray in thankful tongues. I pray His words. The only way I know how to remain out from under my own feet in prayer. 

I have been fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14 – complete, whole, nothing broken, nothing missing. Shalom.

He has plans for me for hope and a good life. Jeremiah 29:11

I have been told to fake it ’til I make it. But He sees through that and in my quiet time with Him, or my time with Him in the Word I know, that I know, that faking it is unbelief.

No sooner than the doubt reaching my mind or leaping from my lips I pray, LORD I believe, help me with this doubt! (mark 9: 23-25)

Jesus said in this verses that there is no IFs among believers. Well, I’m a believer and there seem to be a never-ending supply of IFs in my world.

I feel the pain of this body and I wonder if I am doing this correctly.

I write these words and I wonder if they make sense to anyone else.

… and then I wonder if it even matters as long as they make sense to Him.

As long as I make sense of His word in my life …

Just over a year ago God, Himself, in that still small voice, spoke Ezekiel 36:26-27 to me.

He gave me a new heart … and He has a purpose for me. For that purpose to come about I must remain in Him, and in that act of remaining in Him I find Him in me.

As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit–just as it has taught you, remain in him. ~ 1 John 2:27

This scripture tells me that He is in me … His very Spirit, that anointing, and it remains. Meaning it cannot be removed. And it teaches me … I need no one outside of Him to teach me and it teaches me, it rises in me and says run to me … believe me … lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5-6

I hear Him … audibly in my head, He has a voice unlike any other, I am blessed that way. He quizzes me … when I quiz Him. O’ what are we doing today, Father? What is it you are willing to do today ,sweet daughter.

Really, it is about what I am willing to do today, for Him.

It is my will that I must conquer. When I am victorious over my own will I find me in Him!

Will I allow that voice of mine, of the enemy, change my will to do what He would have me do, with doubt about the pain, or my worth?

Will I ask of Father, what is ahead for today, with confidence in Him;  is the LORD my confidence today, keeping my foot from the snare of my doubt? … or will I give in to that doubt of self? Will I give in to the worry about pain and lack of my own form of confidence today, tomorrow…

Will I tap into that time with Him and I alone … on the sanctuary floor in prayer and praise of Him … in the quiet of the moments before sleep, and the minutes I spend upon waking with songs of praise singing in my head?

Today I chose to tap into God … into the healing I received on the sanctuary floor two mornings ago. I chose to abide in the healing anointing He put within me {again} Sunday morning! I chose to believe God. And I felt little pain, and did not question the bit of pain I did deal with, I know this is not an easy quest I am on, and I know He has it all in hand, today.

I believed … and He dealt with my doubt. 🙂

In what area are you having doubt? Let us reach into that anointing within us, together, the Holy Spirit, and believe God today … tomorrow … together.

When I do this I find Him … Him in me and Me in Him … it’s a glorious finding! There I rest and am whole and rejoice in songs of His majesty. Join me, won’t you.

Praising Majesty

Who will join me? Let us travel this road together … we need not journey alone. Come share with me your heart, I will share mine and we will be gentle in the sharing.

More of Him

Blessings Loves!