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Today was my birthday … It’s been a loooong week, with stress and heartache and me wondering why all this must be. I don’t question God when my tender heart’s wounds are opened and splayed wide by circumstances and by the people I love and then must forgive. I don’t blame God, I tend to blame the one’s I love, who don’t seem to love me back … I don’t know why … and that question will go unanswered, because it’s not that they don’t love … it’s that it isn’t the love I long for. Selfish … maybe … it’s complicated and has left many a tender spot in need of healing.

It always surprises me the depth of healing this heart of mine needs.

Then I remember … they love as best they can in the darkness … and I live in the light, the light of God’s deep and enduring love for me … for ME … and then I remember to pray, first that the tenderness of my wounds would cause me to pray for those I love … who love differently than I … and I pray for forgiveness for my selfish need for this love …

Psalm 25:5-7

5 Guide me in your truth and teach me,    for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. 6 Remember, LORD, your tender mercy and love,    for they are from of old. 7 Do not remember the sins of my youth    and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me,    for you, LORD, are good.

Then … just as I begin to live I’ve done it finally … pushed Him to turn from my sinful nature He, my God, comes along side me and envelopes me in His presence and I realize the tenderness of this heart … is His reminder that I am weak without Him, and that the wounds remind me, though He’d rather I didn’t have them, to press into Him …

So I will remain tender of heart … and I will learn to use this tenderness to press into the light more and shine forth brighter for those that I love that still gravitate to the light …

 Join us over at The Gypsy Mama, where we write, unscripted, unedited, for 5-minutes, each week! This weeks prompt is “Tender” … how does your heart interperet it?Blessings Loves!

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An Opportunity to Rest in the LORD … 365 Days of Wielding the Sword of the Spirit …

How was your day, Loves?

What opportunities came your way … What challenges confronted your peace of mind? That’s about what life is, right, in a nut shell.

Opportunities … Challenges … and Choices.

I was challenged today … by the chance to walk in frustration and fear. Then I remembered I had a choice!

That’s right … A CHOICE!       

It may be the first time that I REALIZED that I had a choice in the face of a wall of challenge! And I took the opportunity!

The opportunity, you ask? YES … the opportunity!

I took the opportunity to REST in the LORD during a time of great stress! And… I actually rested! 🙂

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

Psalm 46:1-3

No anxiety attacks today … not even when sitting, again, in the ER with my grandma, who is home and resting comfortably now! 🙂


 Life is what it is … a gift that sometimes feels as if it’s wrappings are wrinkled and torn. But no matter how life behaves today or tomorrow, we have a choice.

The choice to meet the challenge with an attitude of faith, trusting that our Maker, our Father, is doing in the day all that needs doing to make sure we press that much deeper into Him, and more.

What’s the more, you may ask?

Well this morning, and when I think about it yesterday morning too, I awoke with this song soothing my mind as it danced in my head …

How great is God???


Blessings Loves!


WieldingThe Sword 365 – Battling Anxiety

May I say to you, today, that fear, anxiety and stress has no place in your life, your heart, your mind, or your situation.

Isaiah 35:4

4 say to those with fearful hearts,    “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come,    he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution    he will come to save you.”

Anxiety has attacked … out of the blue … evading from the past and who I used to be. In my world this is not acceptable.

I don’t have the time … I don’t have the energy to spare on this disease!

More importantly I do not have to suffer this; society’s new “acceptance” of FEAR.

In Faith fear cannot stand … and in fear Faith cannot stand. There is nothing more clear if you ask me!

Amazing Grace

They say that God’s Word instructs not to FEAR 365 times … and I am on a quest to find as many of them as I can.

Fear is an instilled trait in many of us … some have silent, secret fears, while others suffer unexpectedly, and very visibly, for no apparent reason.

This world tells us we are afflicted … I say what the Word says!

Psalm 119: 89-96

  ל Lamedh

89 Your word, LORD, is eternal;    it stands firm in the heavens. 90 Your faithfulness continues through all generations;    you established the earth, and it endures. 91 Your laws endure to this day,    for all things serve you. 92 If your law had not been my delight,    I would have perished in my affliction. 93 I will never forget your precepts,    for by them you have preserved my life. 94 Save me, for I am yours;    I have sought out your precepts. 95 The wicked are waiting to destroy me,    but I will ponder your statutes. 96 To all perfection I see a limit,    but your commands are boundless.

Life is stressful. I think I’ve tackled the subject of stress before, but it bears repeating, stress comes in many forms. I call them:

The Good … The Bad … and … The Ugly

Today I deal with the bad … Saturday I battled the Ugly!

How does one battle the ugly and survive? I say survive because the anxiety junky truly feels as if they are dying. The heart races, uncontrollably, sweats break out and one feels as if they will simply shake until their very body shatters into little pieces of tinkling glass. Some suffer so severely that they come to a place where they do not recognize their own surroundings. Terror truly making them lost!

Been there, done that and do not intend to relapse into this abyss of mind bending disease!

I’ve taken the medications. I’ve had “professional” treatment ,that wanted me to visit a past that could not be remedied, and as I look back I think, what good does visiting my past have in my healing? I’ve come to know that my past, while making me the survivor that I am, cannot heal me for my future.

The only remedy that works, in my opinion, is described clearly in the Word of God. The Word defines fear as not from God. God says there is nothing in this world for us to fear; for He built us, for He is with us, for He will never forsake us, for He will rescue us.

Of course there is a part we have in our rescue! We must trust God. We must remain in His Word so that we KNOW the truth about how we were created, who we are in Christ and how we are expected to live our lives.

We are to live our lives in Faith! We are to believe God … not just “in” God … but in every word that proceeds from His mouth.

So my purpose is to write about or simply post God’s guidance, through His Word, in regard to the level of fears in our lives. Like I said there should be 365! One for each day of the year.

Think about that … God so loved us that He prepared to let us know daily that He has our backs! If this knowledge, alone, does not quell today’s stress and fear, I do not know what can!

Do you suffer fear. Does the stress in your life cause you to suffer undo worry? May I suggest that you open the Word of God to the back and find the scriptures that speak to this affliction. May I invite you to join me on this Healing Journey on ending fear in our lives by applying God to the wound.

Blessings LOVES. I HOPE in FAITH that you are blessed here.

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Fighting Censorship …

Tell Congress not to censor the internet NOW! –

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Awake … Wide Eyed for 5 Minutes!

It’s Friday and I haven’t done this in over a month … I think. Busy … busy … Stressed and busy, I have been. And then the words stopped flowing … and I stopped writing and fell spiritually asleep … so this prompt was apropos!

Here at HopeannFaith I join Lisa-Jo and the Five Minute Writers for a jaunt around my heart … allowing what is in there to flow out so that I may be apart of this heart minded … heart understanding … heart loving community. You may join us … just click the 5 Minute Button at the end of this post and share your heart …

Just 5 minutes mind you! No edits, no re-wording … just what comes with the flow from your heart to you fingers and out on the stark white page … show us your colors!

Ready? The prompt is Awake … Now GO!


“Wake up, sleeper,    rise from the dead,    and Christ will shine on you.”

Sleep has illuded me for about two weeks now … off and on. So I pray … for others … for me … for HIM.

I desire to be fully awake to this life … I hear his voice; His sheep know His voice, and I do. Yet I do not rest. I pray … and then there is content, the mind rests in Him … the body feeds on the Word as I pray it. I am sustained …

But in the light I fall prey … I hear His voice, I am awake to my sin … awakened to what is truely happening within me … I am being taught, lessoned; on how to handle the stresses in my life. The tragic and unforgiving malady of a broken extended family. 


Awakened to a LOVE that supercedes what I desire from earthly parents. An awakeing to the fact that I must …


Attend to my Father’s ways; not my family’s way. In this seemingly “sleepiness” I am hearing and being shown the errors of my thinking and He … His HOLY SPIRIT is bringing to my remembrances those things I obediently put in; those things He has instructed within this SPIRIT of me.

I’m Awake … sometimes begrudingly, yet Father understands and asks …

My Girl, do you see? Do you understand? I am your Father … they were your guardians … it is I, I AM, who you follow … I AM your inheritance … and I fold up into that small girl and find comfort amongst the stress …

I understand … yet I need help applying this new understanding …

I lean not on my own understanding of this sleep/awake thing … I lean on, reside in Christ.


13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. 14This is why it is said:

   “Wake up, sleeper,    rise from the dead,    and Christ will shine on you.” – Ephesians 5:13-14

and …

 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart    and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him,    and he will make your paths straight.[a]  – Proverbs 3:5-6

** Forgive a few minutes here … for adding the links to the scriptures!

Blessings Loves! Your Turn …


Unless the LORD … my so-called life.

Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. – Psalm 127:1 

It has so been over a month since I have posted. I’ve been very busy and very stressed. Caring for my grandma, again, and the stress and the chaos resulting from unstable and uncaring family members caught up with me.

Flowers seem intended for the solace of ordinary humanity. ~John Ruskin

I’ve felt, selfishly, alone in all of this. I prayed, I cried (out) and God answered, and I am so grateful. Yet in all of that faith I lost sight of Christ in me.

Psalm 127

A song of ascents. Of Solomon.

1 Unless the LORD builds the house,    the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city,    the guards stand watch in vain. 2 In vain you rise early    and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—    for he grants sleep to[a]those he loves.

3 Children are a heritage from the LORD,    offspring a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior    are children born in one’s youth. 5 Blessed is the man    whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame    when they contend with their opponents in court.

I have become depressed and insomnia has set in. I’ve opened a door, what a sin, and yet … I rise up in anger that this might be true, that I might have sinned in my fatigue and fear and anger that all these things are happening.

Once again I have entered into the I will handle this of controlling Andrea, and like the psalm says … Unless the LORD …

I have fought to figure out the conundrum of the malfunction in my family; yet know that explaining away profound mental illness is futile. I have demanded in my heart that they rise up and do the right thing; knowing that they cannot, will not (I feel part of it is willful on their part). I struggle with the fact that I have to step back so that the right people make whatever decisions they make so that my grandma is cared for … that if I continue to “rise early and stay up late … toiling …” that those responsible will sit back and enjoy their lives while I continue.

And I struggle that this is a sin on my part … this standing back … this saying no … this refusal to take the literal abuse from certain family members … because to continue in this fashion will be my own will. I must know that God has these things in order.

I am the heritage … the arrow in the quiver and I have not been put to shame; but neither, have I been loved as a reward from God … and there I go again, feeling sorry for me …

Unless the LORD … this song of Solomon sings in my head.


I do nothing without the LORD. This is not to say that I am not doing something when I am in my own power, it just means I come out to the light exhausted and soul weary. I spin my wheels and try … yet in all the doing I accomplish nothing of God, I accomplish anxiety and fear and throw open the door for the tempting of the one who would have me believe that I can accomplish anything without HIM!

Unless the LORD … I walk in the pride that I can control … I walk in the delusion that I am entitled to the love and care that I so long from my family. I walk in obscure futility until I come to this point, where I am right now, that I know even as I ache and tear up because ….

Unless the LORD … I do not have the love of maternal or paternal family. Unless I accept that He is enough, that His Love , He is Love, is all the love I will ever need … Unless I allow His love to cover the sin of a family of chaos and self-love

Unless the LORD … I cannot overcome this DNA of self-love.

All I ask is MORE OF YOU GOD … less of me … and Unless the LORD … this cannot be.

Blessings Loves.