I loved this poem the first time I read it. Actually I simply read,
“If ever two were one, then surely we.”
It spoke to our relationship … the Hubs and I. I will forever be in awe that we forged this relationship out of other damaged relationship; that we built this life, this love, this family into the wonderful thing that it is. Alive and breathing and changing every moment … a life well lived.
And as if we couldn’t appreciate what we had more this trial has awakened the wonder of who we are as one, him and I.
You see the doctors said the “C” word. In the matter of a week our life changed completely; it changed even how life looked around us. Amazingly it didn’t get darker! Things got brighter, more clear, around us. I stood in wonder at the amazing beauty around me as the doctors insisted my husband wasn’t strong enough to endure what was coming. Well, they didn’t know the Hubs, or who he was, or who we were!
The beauty of fall didn’t die instantly and flutter to the ground in the ashes of the report. The sun continued to shine brightly through the hospital window, illuminating the greens and reds and golds just beginning to color the trees through the rays of light.
I thought for a moment that the bright might be intensified by the silent tears that had filled my eyes, but no, things just became bright. It’s really that simple.
A myriad of thoughts flooded my mind; things us ladies contemplate from time to time while trying to imagine our future and plan. My husband says that men don’t do this to themselves; you know, try to imagine life if their wife was …. gone. However, we girls do this things. And I can tell you, it’s more terrible than we can imagine.
Sometimes I wake up in fear and am compelled to check to see if the Hubs is breathing; sort of like I did when the babies were new. I even wake him up sometimes; he’s so patient and forgiving. And in the morning …
We are more present with each other. He shows his heart more, much more! It’s a joy to see really, him finally, really, living his life present. True and honest emotions that he is now allowing himself.
And that smile and his humor and his laugh. I’ve always said that my favorite sound in the whole world is the Hubs’ laugh … and it’s so true, so much more now. That smile and that laugh hold my heart together. I love that they are and continue to be … even as life changes.
I love this man.
Life is a motion picture and what that picture looks like during lifes trials depend on our personal outlook.
So what does our life look like?
It looks like moving forward in faith. We heard the doctors say the “C” word, we do what needs to be done … but we look like we always did (except for his hair). We are a family, living life to the fullest (now) cherishing each moment, as we should have all along. Trials weed out the frivolous, the drama and the little things; so that we can see the important things.
This trail has truly caused us to live more freely. Life looks like freedom.
How would you live your life?