HOPE*ann*FAITH

Living and Writing on Purpose: God * Life * Love * Realtionships * The Important Things.

Feeling Shattered & Scattered Today … But, I Will Not Faint

2 Comments


just me ...

just me …

I will not faint …

I think we, The Hubs and I, thought this wait for an answer might start a path to our normal, even if it was our “new” normal, but it hasn’t. Since the chemoradiation therapy ended he hasn’t felt “good”. He has a lack of energy, a lack of appetite and almost no tolerance for anything! It’s kind of rough.

There is a list of things going on for the check-up on Tuesday. And I worry. And I get fed up with the negativity and all the alone time. And I want to cry, often.

There’s a new song we hear regularly on the radio back and forth to appointments and trips to check The Hubs brother’s house as we wait for the sale.

It describes how I feel, often. I was lost until I was finally found in Christ … this is true of all of us, at one time or another. And I cry out in this trial of a life we are living right now, here in Hutchland. When I feel lost, again, I cry out and thank Him for being my God, knowing that if He was not here I would have shriveled and died or exploded or something messy like that.

Sometimes my very selfish flesh just wants my old life back … then it seems to occur to me organically, and it’s not, it’s Holy Spirit reminding me that I really don’t want my egypt back at all.

I do know that I want our US … the new US is fine, I’d like to cuddle into that, instead of wishing that if I sat by The Hubs, while he rested, it wouldn’t make him feel as if he needed to care for me; even though I so need that care.

I guess I’m just tired and lonely a lot. I want to not react when he’s irritable, rather I want to have it in me to comfort him when his nerves are raw.

So today I am relying on sharing and I’m praying these scriptures:

Isaiah 40:3

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

I got the 1 Corinthians reminder from a Favorite Blogger, check her out, she’s funny and hip and sensitive and wise beyond her years!

The Audacity of Trust

Author: Hopeannfaith

Welcome, I'm Andrea ... HOPEannFAITH ... I write and take pictures as a way of expression. These are gifts given by a loving and indulgent Father, to a headstrong and stubborn daughter, with much to say. A semi-retired social worker/secretary, I now call myself a writer. I've published one internet article and written many blog posts. However, publishing does not make one a writer, anymore than taking a box camera to the park makes one a photographer. What makes one who and what they are? Well God for one ... formed me before the foundations of this world (Psalm 139); and many, many years after putting away my passion for wordsmithing and picture taking He gave it back ... in droves. I am a culmination of my choices and experiences. It is here that my experiences color the world in print and color. It is my goal to reach just one soul a day with love ... encouragement ... understanding or just letting that soul know that they are not alone where they are today. This is about creating ~ all of it. Creating a HOLY and SACRED place where the ugly truth can be healed and the beauty of a moment or a tear can brighten a day for the experience. Why HOPEannFAITH? Hopeannfaith is my inner child, and she is maturing, as she should have done all along. She is learning all about how Faith fulfills Hope. She is learning how to live. HOPEannFAITH ~ the wonder twins all wrapped up in one, me. These are my Journey Journals ~ written and visual. I welcome your company. I welcome your friendships. My Journey is in the light ~ although I have and will share the shadowy corners and the dark ~ so you know that you are never alone there. If we hold hands in the dark, and we walk, side by side, through the shadow, we will reach the Light together. In relationship with one another and with the Light. Blessings.

2 thoughts on “Feeling Shattered & Scattered Today … But, I Will Not Faint

  1. What a beautiful wife you are. I believe God sees your heart, encased in flesh, and smiles an understanding and appreciative smile. I’ve prayed for you and your hubs today.

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