HOPE*ann*FAITH

Living and Writing on Purpose: God * Life * Love * Realtionships * The Important Things.

O’ Lord this man of mine

12 Comments


Good morning, at least I pray yours is. =)

Me, HopeAnnFaith, mine is not going so well. I still have my hope and my faith; but I am battling a report from yesterday.

Today I find myself angry.
The Hubs is fine. Doing quite well in fact, and he’s made whatever decisions he made about the report yesterday, though I don’t know what exactly that is, yet; I do know we are proceeding with the next two rounds.

Copyright © AHutchinsonPhotography™ 2007 - 2014- All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material and/or photographs without express and written permission from the writer/photographer is strictly prohibited.

O’ Lord this man

O’ Lord, this man of mine! What will I do ….. !?!

As for me, I am having issues with what the Doctor said. Essentially he said that the chemo would not end, until it doesn’t work anymore, and then we would move on to something else or we would stop, should The Hubs choose to stop treatments, whichever comes first.

Which means, in the medical translation, that this illness will take over at some point.

I know that this is completely UNACCEPTABLE in God’s plan. This does not fit into God’s Word so it is NOT truth.


Like I said, The Hubs is doing well, so the whole of the report was not bad. The Doc did say (about that “new” enlarged lymph node) that it makes no sense that a therapy that is working in the lungs and the liver is not working in other areas; being that the treatment is carried through the bodies system by the blood, which travels every area of the body. (I was happy with his optimism in this respect). The Doc is optimistic, obviously, that The Hubs is healthy enough to continue treatments.

That said, we both noticed that The Doc seemed down the whole time. Not quite as “happy” as usual. Now that could mean he was just having a not good day, or he was tired, or overwhelmed getting back into the flow after a wonderful vacation. The Docs “mood” let’s say could have nothing to do will the CAT scan reports or the techs insistence that the lymph node is newly enlarged. His demeanor could just be a personal thing, but we were deeply aware that he seemed “not himself”.

Back to the subject: I have to hang onto the phrase “I cannot” tell you it’s gone because it has moved. He cannot? Why? Maybe because of protocol or the legalities of malpractice.
A year ago, when this all began, we purposely asked him not to tell us the stage so that it was not put in our heads and more so, on my part, because we believe in the creative authority of our spoken words. He respected that … yet somehow we got here, with the words from yesterday. I need them to be rebuked, because they cannot be unsaid.
I have to meditate on the concept that God’s Word says this is not acceptable or I’m going to shut down.

I have to believe God at His Word.

There is no alternative.

I am angry and fighting fear. I am fighting trying to plan for the whatifs. I am fighting envisioning life alone.

I am fighting for what I know to be true, without being able to see it in the natural.
Lord, please, I believe, I do. Please help me with my unbelief!

I saw a inspirational quote on Facebook this morning, so I decided to be creative with it.

Copyright © AHutchinsonPhotography™ 2007 - 2014- All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material and/or photographs without express and written permission from the writer/photographer is strictly prohibited.

Strong Enough – A Reminder

Well, thanks for reading. I hope my trials somehow help someone to know they are not alone in these things that make up our lives.

Always remember, God’s got it all in hand; and when you’re ready you can hand Him your trial too; He’ll handle it for you. That is Grace. Because, Father Loves us unconditionally … think of how you love your children or your pet or whom ever it is you love … then think, How much more does God love me? I tell you true, His love for YOU is infinite! Eternal! Forever and ever and ever … infinity!

Copyright © AHutchinsonPhotography™ 2007 - 2014- All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material and/or photographs without express and written permission from the writer/photographer is strictly prohibited.

O’ This Man

Andrea

Andrea

 

Author: Hopeannfaith

Welcome, I'm Andrea ... HOPEannFAITH ... I write and take pictures as a way of expression. These are gifts given by a loving and indulgent Father, to a headstrong and stubborn daughter, with much to say. A semi-retired social worker/secretary, I now call myself a writer. I've published one internet article and written many blog posts. However, publishing does not make one a writer, anymore than taking a box camera to the park makes one a photographer. What makes one who and what they are? Well God for one ... formed me before the foundations of this world (Psalm 139); and many, many years after putting away my passion for wordsmithing and picture taking He gave it back ... in droves. I am a culmination of my choices and experiences. It is here that my experiences color the world in print and color. It is my goal to reach just one soul a day with love ... encouragement ... understanding or just letting that soul know that they are not alone where they are today. This is about creating ~ all of it. Creating a HOLY and SACRED place where the ugly truth can be healed and the beauty of a moment or a tear can brighten a day for the experience. Why HOPEannFAITH? Hopeannfaith is my inner child, and she is maturing, as she should have done all along. She is learning all about how Faith fulfills Hope. She is learning how to live. HOPEannFAITH ~ the wonder twins all wrapped up in one, me. These are my Journey Journals ~ written and visual. I welcome your company. I welcome your friendships. My Journey is in the light ~ although I have and will share the shadowy corners and the dark ~ so you know that you are never alone there. If we hold hands in the dark, and we walk, side by side, through the shadow, we will reach the Light together. In relationship with one another and with the Light. Blessings.

12 thoughts on “O’ Lord this man of mine

  1. thank you for sharing. Your journey is inspirational. My sister has stage 4 cancer- diagnosed two years ago. She has to do chemotherapy the rest of her life but she is still stable .

    • Patricia,
      Thank you. I will add your sister to my prayers. Don is doing well too, stable. But he is rejecting the possibility of doing this for the rest of his life. We are standing on God’s Word for the healing, and trusting him completely while doing what needs to be done in the natural.
      Blessings to you.
      Andrea

  2. i wish your entries were available in a book as a daily devotional. They are spiritual food and it is uplifting to follow

  3. My Dearest Andrea, you made a statement, I am angry and fighting fear. I am fighting trying to plan for the whatifs. I am fighting envisioning life alone. Sweetly I know I’m not in your shoes so I really don’t have complete understanding. However, I do know this; that if you give in to the “whatif’s” you could be signing Don’s Death Certificate. Whatif’s are Yet, but! Nothing but HOT AIR coming out from the ASS! The devil is an A__! So dont you be agreeing with him!!! WOMEN! LOVE YOU PASTOR AL!

    • Pastor Al,
      You misunderstand the statement. I am FIGHTING the fear and the whatifs … in other words I am resisting them. I am NOT agreeing with the devil and I am NOT signing Don’s death certificate! I AM FIGHTING!

    • Pastor Al,
      You misunderstand the statement. I am FIGHTING the fear and the whatifs … in other words I am resisting them. I am NOT agreeing with the devil and I am NOT signing Don’s death certificate! I AM FIGHTING!

  4. Pingback: Infinite …. Reach| A FMF Post | HOPEannFAITH

  5. Hi Andrea,
    After reading your comment on my FMF post, I clicked over here and caught this portion of your story. I am so very, very sorry to read of this trial that you are going through with your husband’s health. My mom had cancer for nine years, and though I have not experienced the caregiver emotions from the perspective of a spouse, I do sympathize deeply with your fear and the rollercoaster of your emotions. I wrote an article this past year called “When Cancer Comes,” and felt led to share it with you. I hope it is an encouragement to you. Strength to you in this journey, and may His grace be sufficient in your weakness.

    Here is the link to the article, if you’re interested: http://www.ibelieve.com/faith/when-cancer-comes.html

    • Kate,
      Thank you so much. It’s very hard to talk to others, because quite frankly and thank God, they do not quite understand these caregiver emotions (I never phrased it that way, but it’s perfect). I am definitely going to read your article and appreciate the love and encouragement. His grace is always sufficient! =)
      Blessings,
      Andrea

  6. I also clicked over after reading your FMF post. While I have little experience with cancer, I do have some experience praying for healing. God did answer, but not in the way I expected. Just remember that while we cling to hope because we know God can and does provide healing of our earthly bodies here and now, sometimes the greater glory comes when He provides ultimate healing by giving eternal bodies that are perfect and without defect. And He is also able and willing to heal broken hearts left behind. Remember, the doctors do not hold the answers, God holds your husband’s life in His hands, and He will work this situation for good and for His glory.
    **hugs**

  7. Thank you. And yes, He works all things for good and may the glory be all His.
    Blessings,
    Andrea

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