Dear Lord …
It’s me again. Andrea. Here to present my petitions and desires. I know I don’t have to present or ask. I know you are already on these things, but I needed to talk. And I know you already knew that too.
So why do I pray? Speak these epistles of my life to you. Spoken letters of request. Verbal thank you notes for all the blessings in this mess of a life of mine.
I pray because Dear, Sweet Jesus, it’s how I get to talk to you. I pray because it brings me closer to you. Brings me knowledge of you. Prayer is the intimacy of our relationship.
I guess I need to remind myself why I pray sometimes. In this storm it gets confusing and sometimes feels like I keep repeating myself in a desperate beg for some relief.
I pray, because I need answers and only You, Dear Lord, hold these precious treasures of knowing.
I need comfort in this storm that’s been blowing through our lives for the last 15 months. Yet, even as the storm rages and the emotions win their hostile takeover, if I remember and begin to pray my heart is calmed and my mind is cleared. I know this calm is mine in prayer, I just need to remember in the chaos to begin …
I try to sit still in your presence, but when I cannot, and attempt in my own power to enact some fleshly understanding, you wait patiently for me to surrender to the quiet of Your Spirit. And then you envelope me in Your Mighty Shadow, where I finally rest from my futile efforts, pressing my heart as close to yours as I can.
I sense You in my darkest moments. I hear Your whisper in the swirling chaotic thoughts of those moments; though Your Word says You are not in the storm. And You’re not, but yet, there You are and …
You whisper in my ear … I have not left You child. I AM right here, by your side, My Dearest One. Where I have been since I created you.
And then I can rest, when I’ve heard your voice, and know that in my alone-ness, I am never truly alone.