This week’s prompt for Tuesday at Ten over on Karen’s Finding the Grace Within is Grief …
My last post was a letter to sorrow, because Grief (which that prompt was actually about) has not entered Hutchland in her proper form; yet, like I said in my post, “Dear Sorrow,” , her cousin Sorrow had come to visit.
Grief has so many meanings! So many actions.
I’ve found that I’ve written about grief on several occasions, over the year … you can read a few here: Grief A Study.
In my life I’ve grieved the loss of much; but that grieving was not always caused by the loss of a person. The action of grief blankets many areas of life.
I’ve grieved, without honest knowledge until many years later, the loss of my family to divorce, my mother to mental illness and my father to the desolation of the marriage and for many years to alcohol.
I’ve grieved the loss of a childhood from the age of 4; of innocence, environmentally and sexually, from the age of 4.
I’ve grieved my past from a loss of memory of over 8 years.
I’ve grieved my own 1st marriage.
I’ve grieved the deaths of my step-father, my grandfather, two uncles and my grandson.
I’ve been visited by Grief. she has her place in our lives for processing purposes only. She is a tool to assist us to adjust to this most tragic change in our lives.
But that is all Grief is to do. She is not to reside in our lives indefinitely!
YES, everyone grieves and we all do it in our own timing. the reality of loss is devastating. I believe, though, that the devastation should only be momentary. She should only remain long enough for us to rearrange our memories, so that they may keep what or who we lost in our hearts; where those we love and things we treasured were, in the very first place.
Grief is a state of the heart. And she should ease up, though at times achingly slow, into a soft, treasured memory of love.
Grief should never become a permanent shield that we use to block things of life and love, so that we cannot be hurt. When Grief becomes that shield she damages our very spirit and soul. She cannot be allowed to reside within our heart.
Reading some of the posts I’ve written while grieving has caused a sadness within me; especially the posts about my grandson. My only memory of him is the pregnancy and his leaving us during his birth, but we love him all the same. It sounds almost odd to me, in my thinking, that I, honestly and with all of my heart, love a little boy who never opened his eyes or drew a breath, but I do so love and miss him. He was ours; a vital part of us.
But you see, I only grieve him now when I think of our losing him. I grieve the time we did not get with him.
And then I put grief to bed and I cherish the love and connection he caused in our lives as he grew and thrived in the womb. He touched us ever so gently and that makes me warm with love for the little man.
Today Grief would like to enter early, laying her ground work in the heart of our hearts and the heart of our home. But we are not allowing her to come before her time.
That is a problem in our society today, I believe. I truly think that people anticipate the end of things and allow Grief to affect them before her time.
Grief is for AFTER the loss. She is not something we need for the preparation of the loss.
I believe we lose precious time with our loved ones and in our relationships and life dealings when we begin to prepare for an unknown eventuality.
One of the things God intended for us was for us to Have Life and Life More Abundantly; John 10:10. Well Grief is a thief, she diminishes us, she does not cause us abundance. Especially when she is allowed to visit before it is time.
Ecclesiastes 3 tells us there is a Time for everything …
“a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;“; Ecclesiastes 3:4
Grief desperately continues to visit us here, with all that we are enduring. But we, here in Hutchland, refuse to live less than abundantly through these trials.
Cancer is a trial not, necessarily, the death sentence, as people would lead you to believe; because Jesus has conquered death!
Addiction is a trial, not a death sentence, as people would lead you to believe; because Jesus has conquered death!
Therefore, though sadness sneaks in from time to time and fear attempts to take root, I choose to look up to where my true help comes from. I refuse to handle these trials in our life according to the world’s rules; after all I, we, are Kingdom children residing for a time in a fallen world.
I will handle trials, sorrow and grief according to Kingdom Rules. I will rely upon my Father God and Jesus and Holy Spirit as I walk through the shadow of the valley of death … (note it is only a shadow, it is NOT death!).
I am greatly relieved that I have been delivered from the need for secular counsel and guidance. Life’s journey is a much easier path with Jesus at my side and Holy Spirit’s guidance.
I no longer have to look to others for guidance through grief or sorrow or even just a challenging moment. I simply communicate through prayer and am more often than not blessed with the answer instantly through Holy Spirit.
It’s a discipline, but one I have been working on for years now and it brings peace and comfort regularly these days.
Our days and weeks here are sometimes wrought with opportunities to give into fear, sorrow and grief. and honestly, like everyone else. Fleetingly the fatigue at the end of a day makes them seem the easier choice; allowing me to think that I could curl up into myself making everything just dissolve into nothingness. Then I remember, there is relief for the Spirit, through the Spirit, and my heart begins to fill with comfort.
When Grief visits you, remember, as quickly as you can, that God is there, waiting with open arms of comfort and peace for you in this time. You need not be engulfed in the arms of Grief and Sorrow, they provide no peace or comfort. Though they do have their place at specific times of our lives, their presence should lead you straight to God the Father for comfort.
This was yet another study on Grief in my life … and after reading my past posts I think I’ve come a very long way in understanding how grief should be handled in a life.
What is grieving you today? Is it a lose or an annoyance that you’ve not yet found a solution to? Either way, as always, I encourage you to lift your eyes and seek guidance, not from man, but from our loving Father God.
Blessings to you all, and prayers for peace in comfort for you in all of your lives. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read my thoughts.