HOPE*ann*FAITH

Living and Writing on Purpose: God * Life * Love * Realtionships * The Important Things.

Standing on a road I did not plan.

8 Comments


It’s FMF time … on Saturday.

Five minutes of unedited writing. No worries and no regrets. Just link up here … check the rules here … and read and encourage your fellow writer to your left and/or right in the link up. Spelling and sentence construction are unimportant here. What is important is what is in your heart … put it on the page and know it’s good enough for what God intends it for.

The prompt is: Plan …

Ready. Set. Go.

Dear God

Dear God … I need you now.

Standing on a road I did not plan … it’s a lyric of a Plumb song that first came out just after The Hubs was diagnosed with lung cancer. Today I needed that song … I needed the lyrics to help me articulate my cry to God.

many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it’s the Lord’s purpose that prevails. ~ Proverbs 19:21

I stand in the middle of this desolate road and [like the lyrics, which I’ll post at the end along with the video] I ponder how we got to this exact place. I wonder … what is the lesson here?

Is it that God provides?

Is it that God does not give us more than we can handle?

Is it to keep moving forward, in faith, to the breakthrough?

Does it matter? I mean in the question of what is the lesson.

I think what God’s plan is here is to continue to break me [us] for His purposes. To bare us to our very core to reveal His glory within the truest parts of us, The Hubs and I.

I think. No I believe, that at this place he is showing us just how magnificently strong and resilient He has created us and our union that He sanctioned. He’s revealing the testimony of His Sovereignty in us, in our lives.

That said … this road of His … it’s a HARD one, one He knew we would not be able, in our human-ness, to accept, one we would run from, thus separating ourselves from Him in the disobedience of distrust.

So I stand here in the middle of this road that I had no plan for and I surrender. I cannot do anything else, this is so far out of my depth that I can only stand on the edge, hand extended crying out …

God I need you now!

STOP.

Thank you for reading my friends. God bless.

ASignature

Author: Hopeannfaith

Welcome, I'm Andrea ... HOPEannFAITH ... I write and take pictures as a way of expression. These are gifts given by a loving and indulgent Father, to a headstrong and stubborn daughter, with much to say. A semi-retired social worker/secretary, I now call myself a writer. I've published one internet article and written many blog posts. However, publishing does not make one a writer, anymore than taking a box camera to the park makes one a photographer. What makes one who and what they are? Well God for one ... formed me before the foundations of this world (Psalm 139); and many, many years after putting away my passion for wordsmithing and picture taking He gave it back ... in droves. I am a culmination of my choices and experiences. It is here that my experiences color the world in print and color. It is my goal to reach just one soul a day with love ... encouragement ... understanding or just letting that soul know that they are not alone where they are today. This is about creating ~ all of it. Creating a HOLY and SACRED place where the ugly truth can be healed and the beauty of a moment or a tear can brighten a day for the experience. Why HOPEannFAITH? Hopeannfaith is my inner child, and she is maturing, as she should have done all along. She is learning all about how Faith fulfills Hope. She is learning how to live. HOPEannFAITH ~ the wonder twins all wrapped up in one, me. These are my Journey Journals ~ written and visual. I welcome your company. I welcome your friendships. My Journey is in the light ~ although I have and will share the shadowy corners and the dark ~ so you know that you are never alone there. If we hold hands in the dark, and we walk, side by side, through the shadow, we will reach the Light together. In relationship with one another and with the Light. Blessings.

8 thoughts on “Standing on a road I did not plan.

  1. Oh, man. I feel for you.

    Being on something of the same road myself (pancreas rather than lungs), here’s my take…

    If God is using this to break me, He’s going to have a long, long wait. Stuff breaks ON me. I don’t break, bend, or yield.

    Surrender was never taught in Scout/Sniper school, and I’m disinclined to learn it now.

    But I don’t think it’s that at all, that He’s using this to mold me; this is just stuff that happens, and the molding that He offers is in helping me develop my rather intransigent attitude. This may kill me, but with His help it will never defeat me.

    So, bring it. I relish the fight, and hell itself will shutter its doors in fear that I might show up there. The devil sowed the wind in me, and he is reaping the whirlwind, the whirlwind of rock-solid faith.

    And heaven? God and all His angels will stand aside, eyes averted, to let me pass when I set foot on the streets of gold.

    • Andrew.
      When I say break me … I mean it in this way; and the Word backs this up. God allows us to be broken and to become malliable so that we will allow HIM to have His divine way in us, so that we will come to a place of surrender that gives Him his proper place in our lives so that we may fulfill our divine calling in Christ. So that we can and will fulfill our mission here on earth. God DID NOT give the cancer … like you said, life happens … however cancer has no real hold on us if we allow(ed) ourselves to be molded by the Hand of our Creator Father. He WILL put the cancer under His feet … We will, as children of the one TRUE King be victorious over death … And Heaven … the angels may avert their eyes, but know this … God will not. The angels are His servants and we are their charge, His children … But God … He is the All in All and the King of Kings and all will bow at the sound of His name. Blessings my friend.
      Oh and I believe in the core of my Spirit that He built you and I warriors … but we answer and surrender to our King … it’s the way the government runs. =) Happy Sunday my dear and amazing friend.

  2. This is one of my favorite songs by PLUMB! I love a lot of her songs, they are DEEP and REAL! I ask myself many times “WHY? Why is this the road you have planned for me God” .. but it wasn’t until a year into therapy that I realized and my therapist helped me realize is, God plans a life for us, but its the free will of what happens in life that he doesn’t plan. He doesn’t plan the parts where people hurt us, he doesn’t plan the cancer that takes people away, he doesn’t plan the way we hurt by others actions, he doesn’t plan the days that we feel we can’t get through …

    what he does plan and what he does promise is to be here for us THROUGH IT. God knows suffering, but God also knows he can’t make the suffering NOT happen, he can only gives you the strength to get through it. What God did give you Andrea is the ability to write this blog post reaching out to others so that you will be supported by those who read it, and give you a bit of solstice around writing this for YOU.

    God feels pain when you are in pain.. he understands .. he is by your side through this. he is shaking his head at life saying “I may not be able to stop this from happening, but I can give you strength and love and my support to help you through it”. The one thing my therapist reminded me a long time ago was “God is here for you in minimum protection but MAXIMUM support” he can’t stop the bad of life happening, but he will sure walk through it with you by his love and every-lasting support.

    I used to blame this path on God .. but no longer do I do that.. I know this is not what God has planned out, its the parts where I persevere he plans for me .. where he gives me HOPE, and STRENGTH to fight off the demons of life.

    I hope this helps.

  3. Karen,
    Thank you for your words … but I think you misunderstand my post; and correct me if I am wrong, please.
    I am not blaming God for my circumstances, not at all … I am simply expressing my surrender in this situation of ours.
    While God will not stop the trials and tests of our lives (He could, but He won’t break His own rules; because He is not a man and does/cannot lie.) His is my ultimate in protection – read Psalm 91 – it contains EVERY promise God gives us in His Word, with the conditions and then He tells us in verses 14-16 WHY He will give us His MAXIMUM protection. OH how I love that Psalm!
    And while I welcome the support of my readers and benefit from the catharsis of writing my experiences and hopes and faith; I do so hope that what I write here ministers to others in mighty ways.
    It is after all my ministry. =)
    ❤ Many blessings my friend!

  4. I re-read your blog and I think now I know where my thought process was going.. it was your quote here ” think what God’s plan is here is to continue to break me [us] for His purposes. To bare us to our very core to reveal his glory within the truest parts of us” and this quote “Is it that God does not give us more than we can handle?”

    I think when I read that, I felt maybe you were struggling with the thought that God hands us these hard paths.. and thats why I went on to gently tell you, that I myself used to feel “how can God put me on this path” .. and then I learned no he didn’t put me on this path, life put me on this path” ..

    I think I am reading it from your perspective now .. that God has a purpose for you even in this hardness and he shows you the strength you do have to move towards it and through it.. it depends on how you read this you can get 2 things from it .. you can see one side and then you see the side you are coming from.

    Either way Andrea, it was beautiful the way you wrote it … you have a very deep way of thinking and us deep thinkers can write about something and can articulate many different ways …

    I would never think that you would blame God for your heartaches .. I know you love God to the end of the earth and more .. I just wanted you to see that although sometimes we question his reasoning’s, we can sometimes get lost in WHY these things happen to us. He gives us strength to move through it, and that is what you were trying to say in the beginning 🙂

    • Karen 😊 yes! Exactly.
      My writing has changed in the last year or so. I used to painstakingly explain my point; making for some LONG post! LOL. Now the are deeper thoughts and more concise posts.
      God is molding His writer.

  5. Wow! This is my first visit (via Together We BLOG). I send you my prayers for strength during this difficult time. I know that God will carry you through this but that doesn’t make it easy.
    HUGS
    Traci

    • Welcome Traci and thank you so much. I hope you have the chance to peruse my blog and get to know me a bit more. =) I will be checking yours out throughout the week.
      Blessings to you.
      Andrea

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