HOPE*ann*FAITH

Learning to Live , Again, On Purpose.


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Talk about RUSH!


 

E9E7AC10-FF0F-4F26-8726-C0681712CB78FMF Prompt: Rush

Go!

I just did my first FMF 31 Day Write and posted and then realized that it starts in a month! Seriously funny! I also just did, inadvertantly, my first “schedule post”. I’ve been rushing around for going on 3 weeks now. Not my usual schedule.

My usual schedule is slow and easy to non-existance. No family to care for, except for Dad, who has needed some help lately. It saddens me that we are getting there with him. But he’s up and running again. STOP!

Life for me is a series of ups and downs. Life is slow or it is a rush-rush mess. For me, it causes stress. And, more so to add to my stress the therapist says I’m suffering from PTSD. She’s diagnosing, I’m rebuking.

So I revert to my go-to scripture. God revealed it to me when I was a new baby Christian.

Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” I was so relieved knowing that God would fight my battles, I just had to be quiet and still.

Still is an issue for me! Quiet is REALLY an the issue for me! I’m working on those though. My personal experiences of the last 3 1/2 years have taught not to ”not sweat the small stuff” but rather to recognize within me what the small stuff is and what it isn’t. I’ve let God fight for me, truly and I was not surprised when He was faithful. I expected him to be.

After losing my husband I reminded God that He was my Husband and I wanted Him to care for me and my life. When my son died very shortly afterward I clung to God, and while I didn’t care what He did to care for me or not I absolutely needed Him to take care OF me. Again He was faithful, though at that point of my life I expected nothing.

Like the song, You Say says…”You say I am loved when I don’t feel a thing.”

Not feeling anything remains a thing in my life. Sadly. But God…

And I believe…

So, on a whole my love is slow. No rush in anything. Sometimes the fastest thing I do is an FMF post. 🙂

Right now I am filling the slow with filling my self with knowledge and wisdom of God’ healing deep within me so that it manifested to the fullest. And a personal study of the prophetess and judge Deborah. I long to be a woman of wisdom.

What do you fill your time with when it slows down? Share with us in the comment.

Thanks for taking the time to stop by and read. God Bless.

 

 


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Loved …


Day 5

Loved

I wanted to express something that I have a hard time putting words to.

My husband died just short of 6 months ago. And as a young widow, (I’m 50, and still find the feel of the word widow strange in my mouth somehow), I am so blessed to have this feeling at this time.

Like I said, the love of my life, my life partner, the man that I KNOW God made for me passed away. And in all of the pain and sorrow and numbness this one thing has not changed, in all of the tornado of change that has encompassed my life these last several months.

I can still FEEL the love of my husband!

A good friend said to me yesterday, she drug me out of my vortex of depression for lunch, she said …
“What you and Don had was enviable.” And she went on to say the she wasn’t sure if she and her husband had what Don and I had. Right now I am praying that she come to this place in her relationship.

She expressed further that everyone who knew Don and I, as a couple, knew that we were ONE.

See it’s God thing. We lived our live, as best we could, according to God’s plan for us.

God has a plan for us … all of us. And when we enter into this plan of His … people see it. And we feel it, even after it seems to have ended … See God’s plan for us NEVER ends.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 Amplified Bible 

God Set Eternity in the Heart of Man
11 He has made everything beautiful and appropriate in its time. He has also planted eternity [a sense of divine purpose] in the human heart [a mysterious longing which nothing under the sun can satisfy, except God]—yet man cannot find out (comprehend, grasp) what God has done (His overall plan) from the beginning to the end.

He has set eternity in the heart of every man. A desire for the divine in all areas of their lives!
And that’s what I believe I am feeling!

I can sit quietly and still feel the depths and fullness of my husbands love. That love did not go to the grave with My Love … as My Love is not in that grave, as Jesus is not in that tomb … He is in eternity with Father God.

This fullness of love I feel is how I know exactly where my Donald is and what he is doing.

Not once have I wondered about that. Not once have I felt the loss of Don’s love for me. Not once have I wondered if I’ll ever be loved again.

I think I honestly worried about that loss of love more when he was alive and I believed that somehow he’d leave like everyone else had.

So in light of this writing challenge theme I chose … Prayer … let me pray.

Lord,

May each of your children, today, feel this amazing fullness of love that You’ve provided for all us. May each of us recognize that desire for the divine that You’ve put in our hearts and help us to pursue that divine, help us to pursue You, without distraction. I thank You for this Love that You have for us!

Lord, I honor and praise You today, and everyday, for this amazing Love you have for me. That You would gift me with the continuing Love of my sweet, beloved husband.

Lord, I know that You know my heart, but I must acknowledge that I am in awe of Your caring and loving protection of me and my heart at this time of my life, and I ask that You continually extend that Love to all of Your children. I pray that they come to such an intimate relationship with You that they are able to feel just what I feel at this moment. I pray that they have a revelation knowledge of Your Love.

Touch each and everyone of them Lord. Soothe their every sorrow, as You have and continue to soothe me. You alone are worthy of my praise Lord. May my every word, action and breath glorify You, Lord.

In Jesus’ name, I pray, amen.

Thanks for stopping by to read my quick little 31 day catch up posts. Short but sweet and from my heart. You’re in my prayers. God bless you.

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31 Days of Prayer

31 Days of Prayer