HOPE*ann*FAITH

Learning to Live , Again, On Purpose.


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Trying to Be Still in Overwhelming Circumstances |Few Words Thursday


christmas box

Just this week I participated in a word prompt exercise on Fear, you can read it {here}, if you haven’t already. That was Tuesday. It’s Thursday and what I began knowing was going to be an over full week has become more full! Isn’t it just the way of the enemy to attack just as you think you’ve come to a place of rest. Well as versed as I am in fear, and how I handle, it a whole new version of an old foe has reared it’s ugly head.

Anxiety.

Anxiety about the holiday. Anxiety about the clinical trial. And anxiety about this illness getting in the way of our family’s happiness and joy, especially at this time of year. It’s The Hubs’ favorite season, Christmas!

The research doctor at RCI called about needing The Hubs to have another CAT scan; the original biopsy was not big enough to get what they needed, so they need to start with a CT scan. Well that said, he had a CT scan a week after we saw her, so they used that. This morning the research nurse called about scheduling the biopsy. Next week is out due to his work schedule, so that leaves the week before Christmas.

THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS! I HAVE ABSOLUTELY “0” DONE!

Now anyone who knows me knows that the hoopla around the Christmas Holiday doesn’t usually appeal to me. I’ve never liked the music or the decorations. I do, however, LOVE the meaning, the family and the togetherness with people we love. But all the hoopla … I always preferred to avoid, as in “I” didn’t touch the tree and things like that, the decorating, lighting and background music of the holiday. Let’s just say that the holidays were always  a source of chaos and anxiety, or worse, when I was a child.

The last couple of years (and I mean like 2) I’ve been feeling more “into” the celebration and decorations part of the holiday.

This year I’ve actually been feeling quite festive. Albeit a very new feeling for me.

I know it’s because I am so grateful for my time with The Hubs and our little family here in Hutchland. =)

And who deserves the honor and glory for that “new” feeling? Jesus. Yes, he does.

Then the calls … We were in a holding pattern of perpetual waiting with this clinical trial possibility, and it’s still only a possibility! The holding pattern was frustrating, I was going to call them Monday about where we were; then they called.

Now I’m feeling like that chaos and anxiety are invading again. All of a sudden I have absolutely no idea how I’m going to get this Christmas up, festive and complete with all this going on in the only two weeks we have to do it all in!

Anxiety makes being Still very hard. I have to force myself to pray and trust God. For some odd reason my heart and head are spinning again and I’m having issues getting it under control.

So what to do?

I’m praying in tongues, in my head and out loud. I am thanking God for His hand on and plan for our lives and resisting the urge to beg Him to fix all this.

He will. He is. I know this, but right this very moment I just need something concrete to know that my world isn’t rushing off on some chaotic run away roller coaster!

So I’ll read the bible. I’ll study for the Bible Lesson I’m giving tonight at bible study. I’ll continue to pray and hopefully I’ll be able to get something constructive done today.

I wish, I pray for answers, to know why I’m feeling like this. Why the anxiety after all this time (15 months).

I have a sound mind … I have power and love; everything to conquer this unfounded fear. Now I just need to remember how to use them.

So first, here, I’ll work on my memory verse and meditate on what it means when God is my fortress and stronghold!

Hiding-Psalm-27-in-My-Heart_DoNotDepart

Psalm 27:1-3 (with the Productivity501 tool in front of me.) While praying in tongues. The red is where I had to check the psalm for the right word and the cross outs are self explanatory. (Got that word, or run, incorrect.) The purple is my “commentary”. 😉

1. The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?

2. When the wicked came against me to eat up my flesh, My enemies and foes, they stumbled and fell. (Thank you Lord! feeling better now.)

3. Though an army may encamp against me, My heart shall not fear; Though war may rise against me, In this (God, God’s Word) I will be confident.

{Psalm 27 is such an amazing Scripture to be memorizing at this time in my life. I thank God that I stumbled upon it in my blog hopping!}

In this circumstance of our lives cancer and addiction are certainly our enemies and foes; but I need not be afraid, If God is with me of whom or what shall I be afraid?

Romans 8:28-32

28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.

God’s Everlasting Love

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?

After writing this diary-esque post, I feel better. I think I am just overwhelmed with all of the hubbub around the holiday and this clinical trial. I am purposefully going to keep my mind on the REASON FOR THE SEASON and try to not be overwhelmed by getting it all perfect. Because frankly, this girl has NEVER been perfect, especially around the holidays, nor have I ever striven for such a thing.

I’m going to remind myself that God perfects what concerns me … and I am going to be confident in Him and what His Word says about all of this hoopla!

Psalm 138:7-9

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me;
You will stretch out Your hand
Against the wrath of my enemies,
And Your right hand will save me.
The Lord will perfect that which concerns me;
Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever;
Do not forsake the works of Your hands.

 

Christmas is about celebrating our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. All the rest of it is just frills that we created to make us happy. I’m going to sit in the hay with my pups and rejoice that Jesus came to save me and that He is working with Father God, right now, to bring about the perfect results for our lives here in Hutchland.

joy

I know my words weren’t exactly few (but I did add full scripture)!

Thanks for reading my diary of woe. It’s wonderful to know you’re here listening (reading, ha.)

ASignature


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How Do I Love Him ♥ Let Me Count the Ways…


My Love ♥

First, Happy Valentine’s Day ♥

I was very busy that last two days. My love has finally moved me into the office.

Happy Valentine’s Day to me.

He even seems to like my quiet presence here.

Today, between putting my area of the office to my liking and respectfully cleaning off his desk, I read a few devotionals and the Facebook Valentine greetings from friends. I noticed a few of the women I follow in devotionals were discussing love and romance.

Romance, something I don’t understand, nor do I believe I was created to understand it. These ladies were not complaining about a lack of romance. They had come to a place were they were confessing in a way.

They were pointing out what they had thought true communication and romance were as compared to what they had come to know as true Romantic Communication.

I was glad to see that these wise women had come to the conclusion that was not the Hallmark version of Romance.

When you are married with children and careers, romance becomes something entirely different from Roses, Dinner, Wine and Chocolate. A mature love, whether you are young newly weds or an old married couple, is about investing time in truly knowing one another. When we truly know one another our romance becomes about everyday joys.

I wrote this two years ago, and it all remains true today. Unlike the roses that will fade and dry, the wine that will lose its flavor and the chocolate that, let’s be honest won’t last the week, this relationship my love and I have built is solid and forever. This is because we live and love each day by choice, truly waking and wanting to love the other.

I updated my article, not much as this remains true to our love; Do You Love Your Husband,  that I wrote on Helium, around this time 2009.

It really remains true. I am blessed.

Please enjoy this love letter about my love while I go and clean the kitchen from our Valentine’s Dinner and Jeopardy Date! That’s romantic to us. 🙂 Really, having times during the week that we set aside to enjoy the things we enjoy together and each other is our Everyday Romance.

                                                               ♥♥♥♥

Eight years of marriage; not much, some would say. Yet others would find that amazing.

Yet, our together began twenty-two years ago.

So much has happened in this vast amount of time.

Growth and learning, striving and working, life moving at the speed of light.

Time, during which miraculously, our spirits knit together. By twenty some years of purposeful love.

Purposeful Love…

We realized very early on that love is not a feeling. In these twenty some years we have learned: if the feeling love is what we used to knit, unraveling would soon occur.

No, we came to know that love is an act that we had agreed to choose. All intelligence aside, yes we are a learned two, we found that love is the result of that striving, growth, learning and work, that we put forth.

Now has it been easy? Yes would be a lie. There were days, many, when friendship saved the day. We both had very difficult relationships with others, before the us we are today. Only after much personal searching did we launch this relationship. At first, each vowing inwardly, unbeknownst to the other, that this was the last shot.

For many years, I believe it was four, friends and family thought they knew. But no one was ever sure. We each had children between us, from those difficult relationships. In the beginning it was their hearts we protected, our four little tikes. Our hearts, desires and necessities took second, third and fourth places, behind those little hearts. We hid our budding relationship from anyone it might hurt.

We loved, lived and supported one another. Building from a foundation of friendship, we learned that this was the most secure way. Our affection for one another was derived from genuine like. The time we spent with one another was platonic, even at night. We read, we talked and sat in silence, always secure in the thought that God had a sense of humor, and we were somehow alright.

Yes, I said God. We were not practicing any religion. And God knows we were not following any commandments. Yet, somehow deep within us, we both came to the same revelation. The knowledge that God had put us together. We often look back and see His hand, amazed at His faithfulness to two souls who He meant to be one. To this day we believe it was for His own personal entertainment. I mean our creator is a funny guy.

The differences in our beings complement the other, naturally. Enhancing that, from across a room we can speak volumes with our eyes. We stop each other daily, knowing what the other will say. Still after all of this time we laugh, we laugh every day. And did I mention his smile still takes my breath away?

We love each other daily, through friendship and through truth. On mornings when I am not tip-top, my husband opens those striking blue eyes and smiles at me, starting my day again. Each morning we greet the dawn, with coffee in hand at one another’s side. We wipe the sleep from our eyes and begin another day. Our day to day is routine and secure in the knowledge that we have so much more.

We appreciate each other even when taking the other for granted. He tells me that I am beautiful and that he loves me every day. He even does laundry. He never says a disparaging word, even when I deserve it. I stand amazed at his fidelity and his fierce and honest love. Can anyone ever question that I’ve been blessed with this man’s love?

I choose this day, like yesterday, to love him everyday. I love him when he’s perfect and when he’s out of line. I love his body and his mind. I love his relationship with God. I love the way his heart betrays his macho when he speaks of our children in paternal love. I love that he wants for me what it is I want.

He encourages my dreams and imaginations. His eyes make me believe. I love that he’s smart and beats me at Jeopardy! I love that we like each other. I love that he chose me. I choose him over and over again, until eternity.

Do I love my husband? Yes, as deeply today as each day of the last 22 years.

                                                           ♥♥♥♥

Blessings Loves ♥ I wish you love and joy.


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Thankfulness ♥ and Social Media


Many have spent the last several weeks expressing their thankfulness. Please let me express mine to all who are wandering through, amidst the cooking and festivities!

You bless me with your attention, I am thankful for your readership, and I am thankful that God allows me to pour Him into the lives of those who wander by, or have joined me on this journey!

Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods. Psalm 95:1-3

╔═════════ ೋღ❤ღೋ ═════════╗

ೋ ❤~~HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!~~❤ ೋ

╚═════════ ೋღ❤ღೋ ═════════╝

I stand Thankful to God, alone, for all of the blessings of 2010…more, I am thankful for the provision that God, alone, will bring in 2011. ♥

Good morning and be blessed greatly this day!
I am thankful for you! ♥

 I am thankful for ~ the Social Media system that  has allowed us to do this world-wide.

Some may think this odd, however, Facebook, WordPress, Blogger  and many, many others allow us to connect with our loved ones who are far away.

We reach the nations! It’s amazing really.

With all the hubbub about social media being a “MeMe” thing, what I am seeing today is thousands of people expressing their thankfulness for one another!

Expressing their love for God and their families! In ways that in the past could not have been done.

We used to send cards; hoping and praying that they arrived on time, to our loved ones. Now, since cards can be so very expensive (the average commercial card being over $3.00) the social media is really a blessing!

I can tell my loved ones that I love them, right now…and they will receive it as soon as they log on, or answer their text messages! Which, if we are honest we tend to do immediately, by rote.

I see people genuinely thankful for being able to have contact with loved ones who live hundreds, to thousands, of miles away. I know we are, here in Hutchland!

My family and I are blessed with the luxury of having chat and Skype conversations with our Son, Daughter -in- Love, Granddaughters and hopefully our Daughter in Alaska. By the way, we live in New Jersey!

Our Daughter-in-Love, Corina, just texted, “Happy Thanksgiving FB family and friends! I am thankful for FB for special days like these! In fact my 3G AT&T cell phone has not stopped getting Thanksgiving blessings by text! Free texting is a blessing!

Social media is and should be a blessing! And it should be used as such!

I thank God for these luxuries, provided today. They allow me to  be connected to those far and wide, and it allows me to express my love. And a bonus blessing is I feel loved! ♥

So no matter your what your issues with the social media system may be, TODAY I encourage everyont to try and to be thankful for the blessing it can be in a life!

Through this particular social media I wish you and yours a Blessed Thanksgiving, may God shine on you today and give you peace!

Thankfulness

 

I Am Thankful!

 

Blessings Loves! ♥


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On Thankfulness…


A week from tomorrow many of us will sit around a table with family and enjoy a meal that should have meaning.

Albeit, we celebrate Thanksgiving in the U.S. to commemorate our freedom from England and it’s restrictions on beliefs and religion.

But today…2010…what are we Thankful For?

Hebrews 13, the first 10 verses says, and if we are thankful we should…

  1. Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters.

Do we, I ask? Throughout the year, do we truly love one another like family? Sacrificing our own comforts for this love? Are we thankful that God has given us family and friends to to love, in our lives? I ask myself, do I appreciate all those who are in my life?

     2. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.

I forget, do you forget, to be hospitable to strangers?

A smile, holding a door for someone, or simply ignoring an impolite driver, who may have the world hanging in the balance, at the very moment he cut you off;  are these, really, huge sacrifices in the scheme of life?

Am I hospitable? Do I miss the opportunity to bless an angel of the LORD?…Do I remember the LEAST of these…

     3. Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.

Now maybe you do, or maybe you don’t,  know someone who is in prison proper; however, we each know someone, even within our Christian acquaintances, who are in their own private prisons.  A prison that they have not yet learned they are free from.

Do I remember that I was once in that same prison, and go to this person and show them the open Gate? This one I can say I am doing…however, I did not always!

And the mistreated, have I extended comfort? Or do we look the other way, maybe in judgement, or worse, in self-involvement, thinking I have my own wounds to lick? Oh I hazard to think, as I feel the guilt of my ignorance.

      4. Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

As Christians, our marriages are the vision of the church, the body of Christ. Are we standing in the gap for and with our married couples and our single brothers and sisters, alike? 

 Are we extending invitations, to our church family singles,  a place to belong in their singleness? Or are they left out to battle the temptations of the world, alone?

Does my marriage extend examples that strengthen others in this command.  Does my marriage show, those still in the world, a picture of Christ’s Church?

Do we honor the great covenant of marriage, as we do its mirror image,  The Church?

       5. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you;  never will I forsake you.”

This is a hard one, for all of us. In this economy, this looks almost impossible, if we take our eyes off of God.

 I ask myself am I content with what I have? 

As the money gets tighter and we cut another hole in our financial belts…do I trust God? Do I remember that I do not participate in the lack of this world?

As this computer loads slower, day by day, don’t I long for the newest media laptop, with which to blog and edit pictures?

Do I really trust God to take care of the things I need, let alone the things that I want?

I learned a hard one this year health wise!! As most of my readers know. I may have left the money and the love to God…I did not, however, trust Him with my healing. Now I don’t know if I actually thought of it that way…but it was the result. I didn’t trust that He would take care of my health. So the next verse….

         6. So we say with confidence,“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”

Do I? In all areas, do I really see the LORD as my helper? Do I stay out of fear?

FEAR is the OPPOSITE of FAITH…a woman of faith, I call myself…really???

And those mortals?? Just yesterday!!!! I allowed the actions of a mere mortal to offend me and make me feel lesser than my Father says I am!

Do I have confidence in my Father God..or do I, small mindedly, attribute to Him the lesser abilities of my mortal father? Though I love my father(s) dearly, they are mere men.

            7. Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.

Do we remember what was taught to us on Sunday??? I can say that, eventually, I get back to remembering what it was God said through my Pastor. That is, after I get tired of battling what has gotten into my mind less than 72 hours later! I then…consider what Moses or Daniel or Hannah may have done…considered their faith and intimacy with God. Finally, by grace, finding center. And I can say that I am THANKFUL for Wednesday evening service because, by then,  I have wandered away, so aimlessly and sinfully wandered into the world, or my own head.

             8. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Am I thankful for this?? MY goodness YES! This is the scripture I was looking for when I found this blogpost ready to be written!  He is the same Yesterday and Today and Forever, thank God! 

The immutable God: INCAPABLE AND UN-SUSCEPTIBLE TO CHANGE.

Oh the tragedy of this life, if HE were to change like I do, so often! Forgetful, inconsiderate waife that I am, without Him!

              9.Do not be carried away by all kinds of strange teachings.

Are we carried away by strange teachings? What are these?

These are any teachings or practices that take us away from Christ’s way of living.

Basically the ways of this world. The ways of the world, that take this Thanksgiving Holiday, we all celebrate, and make it about the things we’ve attained throughout the past year. Making thankfulness something about ourselves and our own abilities…forgetting that we do nothing without the breath of God each morning.

We are a people who tend to be thankful of things…I ask myself…what am I thankful for?

            10. It is good for our hearts to be strengthened by grace, not by eating ceremonial foods, which is of no benefit to those who do so.

What a blessing this verse is…STRENGHTENED BY GRACE!

Each Thanksgiving we basically eat a CEREMONIAL MEAL. In the ceremony itself there is no benefit. We see this in our very own actions on this Day of Thankfulness, when we are thankful for full bank accounts and our cars in the drive. Thankful of and for THINGS.

When what it is we SHOULD be thankful for is the FAITHFULNESS OF GOD THE FATHER who provided us the skill, provided the miracles, provided the food for this ceremonial meal.

Thankfully, But God…

and we are STRENGTHENED BY GRACE… We have an altar from which those who minister at the tabernacle have no right to eat.

WE HAVE AN ALTAR, FROM WHICH TO MINISTER AT THE TABERNACLE, FROM WHICH WE HAVE NO RIGHT TO EAT!

Christ…He is our altar. We must minister by Christ…

We must put into practice these things revealed here so that we might, by GRACE, minister  true thankfulness at this Thanksgiving Ceremony.

We come by our Salvation by Grace…the unmerited, unearned Favor of a loving God who provided the Altar from which we minister, from which we eat, daily.  WE did not earn this altar!

Faith without Works is dead…contrary to other scripture some say, confused…but what is confusing I ask myself?

If I am a woman of Strong Faith, as I say, why then do I question my part in these tasks these verses so clearly prove as the key to such Faith?

Do I?  Am I? Strengthened by Grace…

I read somewhere that Thanksgiving, in a Christian sense, is about being thankful for the year to come. That true Thankful Faith is about knowing that God is GOING to provide…I like that.

These ten scriptures are essentially a long list of PERSONAL “to dos”…

We have a week….can we get them all in?

Personally I am going to try! Come next Thursday I would like to be able to Thank God for the opportunity to have been a blessing. I want, as well, to thank Him for the provision He has for the coming year and the continued opportunity to work this list of 10.

I thank God for those of You who read…I thank God for those of You who wander by…I thank God that He allows Me into your life and You into mine.

Happy Thanksgiving Loves 

Photo Credit: Google Stock Photos

  


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No Weapon Formed…what was that diagnosis???


Get Well Bouquet...

♥ Hi there! It’s been a month since I last posted! Sorry about that! There is a good, well particially good reason.

In my quest for health I got ill.

You see, when you pray for God to search you and your heart is right, he does. If He sees that you are ready to move on a change that is necessary he then honors your request. I must have been ready.

On June 1st., I attended our Ladies Bible Study. I almost did not go due to fear, no panic. I had been having increasing difficulty breathing and being in my upstairs rooms and bathrooms worsened it. We don’t have airconditioning in our home, so the 2nd floor is naturally more hot and humid, especially when showering.

I had often battled the fear that I would one day not be able to shower because of the breathing issues. Well, I am here to tell you that fear, even unspoken, will manifest itself! I was taking a shower to prepare for bible study and I got to a point when I could no longer breath adequately. I quickly rinsed off and got out and put on my robe…I called to my son, who did not hear me, and I became more frightened.

Very frightened and angry that this was occuring I began to cry and pray to calm myself. It took awhile. I dressed and returned downstairs. I called my trusty “won’t let me off the hook” friend and told her what was happening, in tears of course. I was waffling on going to bible study. However, I knew that if I gave in and stayed home that would be a dire mistake. I just knew that I knew that that particular decision was a milestone. So I called JR, and she offered to pick me up.

Bible study was positive and uplifting, as it always is. I shared with the group, briefly, what had happened when prayer request time came around and I asked for prayer. The ladies made their views clear and I promised to call my physician in the morning. I had been avoiding this for a very long time because I have no health insurance! Prayer time came and went and we went home.

My husband was aware of the situation because he was actually my first phone call. Being that he does not “believe” in doctors he does not push me to see one if I don’t pursue it. However, he does not block me either, so he told me to keep my promise and call the doc. I wanted to see him, because of the no insurance thing, but knew there was a possibility he would tell me to go to the ER.

The next morning, after a night of laying my hands on and praying that my body line up with the word of God, I felt better, much better. I kept my promise though. Just as I thought the doc told me to go to the ER, because the symptoms I described could be heart, lung or kidney related and I would have to have tests that were expensive and the ER was the best route, unfortunately. So I went.

Here is why I’ve been gone for so long…

I was admitted to the hospital for…get this!…Hypertensive Heart Disease and Congestive Heart Failure with Pneumonia! Quite the mouth full. Now remember how frightened I was in the shower??? While I was not happy with the diagnosis, I was also not frightened by it! So I was either in a state of grace or the peace of God, or both.

I’m starting to believe they are the same place!  🙂

I was in the hospital for the better part of  5 days, and on light activity for 2 weeks. Multiple medications and frustration left me not allowed to drive for 2 weeks. I was required to weigh myself each morning, at the same time, with the instructions to return to the hospital if I gain 2 pounds in one day or 5 pounds in a week. I also am to watch my fluid intake…no more than a liter a day. Oh! And NO salt, ehhhh!  Daunting and worrisome, I was happy to be home.

Each day I have lost a pound, of water weight, of course. With only a few days where I was faced with a bit of gain, however not outside of the rules. I had my 7 day follow up with my regular doc, who agrees with the instructions. With a few notes. On very hot and humid days fluid intake is necessary, so I am to be watchful but drink when thirsty. And to call Deborah Heart and Lung Center for my Cardiac follow up, as they are ability to pay! No bills.

The two weeks were long and I have had bouts of depression. Mostly due to the limitations. I have fought it with prayer, but I didn’t do any writing, blogging or any of my usual productive things. I love to write and take pictures…didn’t feel like it. I have been tired, asleep and emotional. It is frustrating at the least.

The one thing I have not forsaken was Church. Even sitting, in the beginning, the Praise and Worship and the Word have fed my spirit. As many of my readers know my church is changing Pastors and location. These things are firming up and I am excited about the newness and the forward movement! We are going to the next level as a church, while my Spiritual Parents step out into the new ministries God has for them.

I’m doing well. Soon, I look forward to the prize of being myself again, just a bit less salty. Oh and thinner! Did I say I’ve lost 30 pounds in about a month. People do not try this at home with out medical assistance! Of course it’s water weight, but hey, here’s hoping that my obesity is connected and as much weight as possible be removed by these means! : D

I’d like to leave you with a few scripture I have been using and have prayed before and during this. In fact a devotional from             Proverbs 31 Ministries I recieved on June 14th, while I was in a bout of depression I might add, confirmed that this diagnosis of mine and the medical treatment plan were due to the prayer I had been praying for months, for God to remove anything within my body that was not working for or fruitful for the Kingdom of God! ** JUST A SHOUT OUT HERE TO MY FATHER GOD FOR HIS FAITHFULNESS TO ME!!! ALL THE GLORY IS HIS!**

The prayer I had been, and still am, praying for months prior to this health issue was very similiar to the scripture in the devotional highlighted above.

“Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24 (Amplified)

I had spent many a prayer time asking God to remove the wicked or hurtful things in me…who knew, like the lady in the devotional it would be such a dire diagnosis?

Praying scripture is infallible! Just as the Word itself tells us God’s Word is infallible.

“But you are a shield around me O LORD; You bestow glory on me and lift up my head.” Psalm 3:3

David cried out to God to be his shield. That is good enough for me! God is ultimately the one who lifts our heads up away from our current circumstances. When we cry out, God answers.

Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God…then call on Me when you are in trouble; I will rescue you, and you will give me glory.” Psalm 50:14-15

There is great value, importance and powerfulness in our praise and worship to God.  Our praises are powerful enough to neutralize all of the adversary’s forces. Because…

“God inhabits the praises of His people.” Psalm 22:3

Are you seeking God’s presence in your crisis, as I did? Take it from me the fastest response and entrance into the presence of God is praise. Verbal, outloud declarations of His positive and faithful presence in your life!

Praise is seeking the Kingdom of God…Prayer is seeking the Kingdom of God…and afterward all these things will be given to you!

Blessings Love and Be Well!  ♥


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What am I looking for?…a google search!


Quality Time with God...

My morning with God was playful this morning. With Pandora Radio and my personal praise channels singing in my head, God spoke to me directly. While it was a goofy and playful time with my Father God this morning, it was no less than powerful!

After reading scripture devotions and here is one greatly appropo for this particular morning; this particular weekend…

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

~ Romans 5:8…..one of my all time favorites. My first kiss from God this morning!    🙂

I then wandered off to FB to check on my loves! I have some very smart, whitty and spiritual friends there! As funny as it may be I use it as much to keep in touch with my loved ones as much as I use it to promote my writing and photography! But then, I think most do. Plus, it is a great evangelistic tool,  as is WordPress and deviantArt…this is how we reach the world!

So back to my experience…

My nieces status late last night was this:  I found her and a friend searching the personal question “what am I looking for?” and   “what are you looking for?” on Google and Yahoo search engines.

Now since I believe my niece to be a rather brilliant and clever girl I choose to believe she came up with this little game…

Now…the rules; as I have made up, are these:

Ask, in a complete question, like; “what am I looking for?”; question mark and all (no quotes). And search your question on google (or your favorite search engine). Then scroll down until a site’s SEO line completely and properly answers the question, like ” I am looking for cookies.”

That is your answer… mine was spot on, my answer was directly from God…and absolutely correct! Anyone who truly knows me knows that I am being honest here.

God spoke through google…My answer, in proper form was this…I am looking for God; which led to a blog post from 2005! Go read it…it is a wonderful post.

 
Unfortunately it is an archived blog post and I couldn’t thank the author…hopefully he will get the trackback and find this post! If you do…God is good and led me from the future to your wonderful post! Thank you.
So off with you now, go play until the sun comes out and you can play outside! Love you all! Have fun.

By the way, as I posted this note God answered me again through Pandora Radio and “All I need is you.” by Hillsong was playing…

Off I go to continue my time with God…just had to share!

praise + worship + The Word = Quality time with Abba, Father!

God is good. Life is good. I feel joyful today!

What are you looking for today…please share. Let’s share, get to know one another…use the comments below; I want to know you.

Blessings Loves   🙂


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A Personal Wilderness


My Personal Wilderness

I’ve been in my own personal wilderness for awhile now. In January God began putting the idea of fasting in my path. I struggled, as things in my life continued to get complicated. I became interested in the idea of Lent. Of older more traditional practices of a religion I have never practiced. I find it interesting the way I began to be interested in the Lenten Season.

 
Matthew 4:4  4But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.'” resonates in all of this for me. Fasting, Lent and pressing into God…
 
It began with devotions and articles I would come across about fasting. Again, an obvious sign God was speaking to me. The consistant coming around to the same subject matter in different places; articles, tv news programs, sermon messages, even daily devotionals on the subject. I heard God loud and clear, and knew He was focused on my desire to be healthy. I had talked to Him about it, a lot. Yet I hesitated, procrastinated, ran on an alternate path called avoidance.
 
Of course I did other things. Subsequently while I avoided God’s urgings, my life got bogged down with complications. Nothing God did, just life doing what life does. I had a lot on my mind. Honestly things were not all bad, although some were. I know, even knew, that to be obedient to God’s direction would have made my day to day journey easier to deal with. It could have even seen to it that some did not occur at all, but my humanity took over and I pursued other avenues that were not quite obedience.
 
 I wrote an article on the Daniel Fast. It formed itself out of the research I did so I could do the fast properly. I was seeking a fast that would help me to get well. I had over the holidays begun to feel not well, again. My left leg was swelling up again, and I had leg tensions at night, again. I had begun experiencing monthly migraines, again. Two or three a month, usually attributable to a rise in hormones. Illness symptoms that had gone by the wayside since the summer. It dawns on me that all of these things were at some point gone, all of them.
 
Then it dawned on me that I had begun a quest to wellness in the spring of 2009. I had entered a contest on the Helium site where I wrote on the subject of teas. Earlier in 2009 I had begun to be interested in researching teas, as each time I wasn’t feeling well my grandmother would tell me what teas would help me. Over the 4o some years of loving this woman, it took those 4o years to hear her. So I researched and found the medical wonders of tea, and implemented them in my life. It worked, on my asthma and leg issues and my weight.
 
At the same time I was pursuing God with a vengence. To finish what I had begun years ago. My friends and loved ones were not always happy with the changes in me. I was. My quiet startled and left them unsettled, but I was renouncing sarcasm and negativity in my life. Our personal changes force others to change, at least how they are around the person changing, and sometimes they reject it. Sometimes they reject you, whether the changes are bad or good. Odd, but in our twisted world personal improvement is not always celebrated, even by those who love us.
 
So Lenten. In my search for a fast, I discovered that the Daniel Fast, which I had done incorrectly a few years ago for 21 days, was considered a suitable Lenten fast. Well, now my quest to be obedient became wrapped up in Lent! And there were articles to be written, for yet another contest. God is funny and persistent! I didn’t write those articles, but I did research them.
 
On Clean or Shrove Monday I began my fast. I am fasting beverages. I planned, and have been successful, thus far, in drinking only water and tea, for 40 days. You see the Daniel Fast allows one to consume only things that originate from the seed and water. Tea comes from the Camellia Plant, essentially from a seed, so it works! I am now combining the fast with Lent, how odd of God!  🙂   He led me straight to what, I believe, He intended for me to find.
 
Then I found HighCallingBlogs.com, you can hit the link on this page. And what was some of their articles about? Lent.
 
As I said, I feel as though I have been in my own personal wilderness for quite a while now. Refusing to listen to anyone but God, alone, in all areas of my life. And again, family and friends do not necessarily take well to this. I have stood firm though. Taking every suggestion and piece of advise to God.
 
The reward for this has been amazing. Illness and the shadow of death has been looming over my immediate family for months, possibly years now. Right now we are contending with the possibility that my uncle is dying. The Uncle who may have been the closest thing to a father in my childhood. During all of this I pressed into God like never before, resulting in a heightened experience with God.
 
Focus! Lent! 
 
I found in my research and on the blogs on HighCallingBlogs.com was many things. In an effort to glorify God, since the dawn of Christianity until now,  people and religions, observed periods of fasting for cleansing and repentence. Being born again, I know that I should only fast when led by the Holy Spirit. I know, as well,  that I only need to repent once for my sins, God does not find it necessary for me to live in my sinful nature by reliving it at the beginning of each spring.
 
However, the traditions of old still have purpose. Fasting gives a body a good healthy cleaning while reminding to focus on God. I wanted healing, I asked God for healing, and I found:
 
 
I got an e-mail from HighCallingBlogs.com that I, now, cannot find. However, it said that Lent is about being in touch with our humanity. A place I have been forever, it seems. Being in touch with one’s humanity means many things. For me it means that I realize that God chose me with ALL of my imperfections, as if they didn’t exist. Therefore I have to trust God, that those imperfections do not exist.
 
Through the Atonement we are cleansed, freed from our sin mentality. It is our job to rid these things, these imperfections, generational curses from ourselves. God will assist and support us in all manners of this, but it is our job to get it done. To determindedly rid ourselves of what is contrary to God within us. Because when we indulge in these memories, these family lies about health and religion, we stop in our forward movement. When we stop God continues on, and we can miss blessings and miracles that are planned for our lives.
 
Lent and the practices within the observances give us a vital way to press into a loving and forgiving God. A Father who will gently guide us through the processes of seeing ourselves as He sees us. Perfect and free. It is our inheritance, we are the children of the King of Kings. All of this, from Clean Monday to Resurrection Sunday was about us. About God’s desire to be reconciled to His children.
 
The practices of Lent transcend any specific religious belief. They are simply a vehicle for each of us to realize that regardless of what we have done or will do, our humanity makes us the apple of God’s eye.We have been redeemed.
 
Lent and fasting is allowing me to find a closeness to my God that I didn’t have even 2 weeks ago!
 
You see, in my obedience to fast, when it was necessary to press into God for real answers a few nights ago the experience stepped up several notches. Honestly in the early hours of February 15th, God forever changed they way we communicate, the experience of His presence when I press in and the way I pray. Past that,  I cannot seem to articulate the experience effectively yet. I simply know that it is all wrapped up in the observances of Lent and the practices of fasting.
 
Blessings Friends.   🙂
 

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