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Trying to Be Still in Overwhelming Circumstances |Few Words Thursday


christmas box

Just this week I participated in a word prompt exercise on Fear, you can read it {here}, if you haven’t already. That was Tuesday. It’s Thursday and what I began knowing was going to be an over full week has become more full! Isn’t it just the way of the enemy to attack just as you think you’ve come to a place of rest. Well as versed as I am in fear, and how I handle, it a whole new version of an old foe has reared it’s ugly head.

Anxiety.

Anxiety about the holiday. Anxiety about the clinical trial. And anxiety about this illness getting in the way of our family’s happiness and joy, especially at this time of year. It’s The Hubs’ favorite season, Christmas!

The research doctor at RCI called about needing The Hubs to have another CAT scan; the original biopsy was not big enough to get what they needed, so they need to start with a CT scan. Well that said, he had a CT scan a week after we saw her, so they used that. This morning the research nurse called about scheduling the biopsy. Next week is out due to his work schedule, so that leaves the week before Christmas.

THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS! I HAVE ABSOLUTELY “0” DONE!

Now anyone who knows me knows that the hoopla around the Christmas Holiday doesn’t usually appeal to me. I’ve never liked the music or the decorations. I do, however, LOVE the meaning, the family and the togetherness with people we love. But all the hoopla … I always preferred to avoid, as in “I” didn’t touch the tree and things like that, the decorating, lighting and background music of the holiday. Let’s just say that the holidays were always  a source of chaos and anxiety, or worse, when I was a child.

The last couple of years (and I mean like 2) I’ve been feeling more “into” the celebration and decorations part of the holiday.

This year I’ve actually been feeling quite festive. Albeit a very new feeling for me.

I know it’s because I am so grateful for my time with The Hubs and our little family here in Hutchland. =)

And who deserves the honor and glory for that “new” feeling? Jesus. Yes, he does.

Then the calls … We were in a holding pattern of perpetual waiting with this clinical trial possibility, and it’s still only a possibility! The holding pattern was frustrating, I was going to call them Monday about where we were; then they called.

Now I’m feeling like that chaos and anxiety are invading again. All of a sudden I have absolutely no idea how I’m going to get this Christmas up, festive and complete with all this going on in the only two weeks we have to do it all in!

Anxiety makes being Still very hard. I have to force myself to pray and trust God. For some odd reason my heart and head are spinning again and I’m having issues getting it under control.

So what to do?

I’m praying in tongues, in my head and out loud. I am thanking God for His hand on and plan for our lives and resisting the urge to beg Him to fix all this.

He will. He is. I know this, but right this very moment I just need something concrete to know that my world isn’t rushing off on some chaotic run away roller coaster!

So I’ll read the bible. I’ll study for the Bible Lesson I’m giving tonight at bible study. I’ll continue to pray and hopefully I’ll be able to get something constructive done today.

I wish, I pray for answers, to know why I’m feeling like this. Why the anxiety after all this time (15 months).

I have a sound mind … I have power and love; everything to conquer this unfounded fear. Now I just need to remember how to use them.

So first, here, I’ll work on my memory verse and meditate on what it means when God is my fortress and stronghold!

Hiding-Psalm-27-in-My-Heart_DoNotDepart

Psalm 27:1-3 (with the Productivity501 tool in front of me.) While praying in tongues. The red is where I had to check the psalm for the right word and the cross outs are self explanatory. (Got that word, or run, incorrect.) The purple is my “commentary”. 😉

1. The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?

2. When the wicked came against me to eat up my flesh, My enemies and foes, they stumbled and fell. (Thank you Lord! feeling better now.)

3. Though an army may encamp against me, My heart shall not fear; Though war may rise against me, In this (God, God’s Word) I will be confident.

{Psalm 27 is such an amazing Scripture to be memorizing at this time in my life. I thank God that I stumbled upon it in my blog hopping!}

In this circumstance of our lives cancer and addiction are certainly our enemies and foes; but I need not be afraid, If God is with me of whom or what shall I be afraid?

Romans 8:28-32

28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.

God’s Everlasting Love

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?

After writing this diary-esque post, I feel better. I think I am just overwhelmed with all of the hubbub around the holiday and this clinical trial. I am purposefully going to keep my mind on the REASON FOR THE SEASON and try to not be overwhelmed by getting it all perfect. Because frankly, this girl has NEVER been perfect, especially around the holidays, nor have I ever striven for such a thing.

I’m going to remind myself that God perfects what concerns me … and I am going to be confident in Him and what His Word says about all of this hoopla!

Psalm 138:7-9

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me;
You will stretch out Your hand
Against the wrath of my enemies,
And Your right hand will save me.
The Lord will perfect that which concerns me;
Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever;
Do not forsake the works of Your hands.

 

Christmas is about celebrating our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. All the rest of it is just frills that we created to make us happy. I’m going to sit in the hay with my pups and rejoice that Jesus came to save me and that He is working with Father God, right now, to bring about the perfect results for our lives here in Hutchland.

joy

I know my words weren’t exactly few (but I did add full scripture)!

Thanks for reading my diary of woe. It’s wonderful to know you’re here listening (reading, ha.)

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I.Pray. | A Wife’s Testimony


Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God

when we don’t feel safe where do we go?

The shadow of the almighty

Go …

This is the testimony of the wife and mother of two who are seriously afflicted with life threatening illnesses. Honestly I am writing this in preparation of the teaching/testimony I have to give tomorrow morning at my church’s Women’s Fellowship Breakfast. And it’s not been the greatest of months for me.

I don’t think people, even those closest, notice that things are as bad as they are or can be, some days. They see me weathering the storm at church or bible studies or family gatherings and they either express that I am so strong or they just ask how my husband is. And for some, I can see that they hope my answer is quick and doesn’t require much from them. That sounds harsh, but it is not meant to be. I am well aware that they don’t know what to say or do and frankly there is nothing they can say or do. They just don’t know that that is okay.

And some days I notice that I need to talk, and some days that means me talking to God. Because, he’s the only one who can do anything about all of this …

STOP … This post took way more than 5 minutes and edits. After all it’s the draft of a testimony presentation on a really hard subject.

My testimony.

I am the wife of a wonderful man, who is battling cancer and the mother of a hurting man, who is battling heroin addiction; and I do this simultaneously and not always well.

I am simply doing the next right thing on a moment to moment basis, sometimes. Definitely the last month.

My husband has been through 2 different, months long, rounds of chemo. Taking up what is slowly becoming 2 years.

The first round to eradicate a mass that had infiltrated and completely blocked his left lung; which was found to have rendered the lung nonfunctional. He didn’t even feel it not working until he caught an upper respiratory illness, which started this season in our lives. From September 2013 to February 2014 he had chemo and radiation every two weeks. The mass decreased with each CAT scan and he came to the end of this round with full use of the lung! Success! Right?

Not according to the doctors. Because a VERY little piece of the cancer had “escaped” to the liver. With this the treatments were rendered a failure.

REALLY?! But … he has full use of the lung! Really. According to their protocol.

NOT our GOD though!

So in June, after a biopsy,  he went back into chemo; radiation was not an option for the liver. So from March to September 2014 my husband endured some very hard chemo treatments.

All the time he only got ill twice with nausea and once with something he caught. He lost his hair twice and suffered most from fatigue and feelings of weakness; oh and frustration driven moodiness!

He came out of the last round of chemo and the CAT scan showed that the “original” spot(s) were smaller, but that other lesions had developed.

Another fail, according to the doctors and the protocols.

And all the while this man of mine was vibrantly himself except for a few naps here and there.

So now he’s [we are] setting up for a clinical trial.

And with all this our youngest son is having a daily battle with heroin and he fell.

So that’s the story … what’s my testimony? I still don’t know how to put that into words.

I’m having trouble telling my story because I don’t feel as if I’m doing anything extraordinary. I’m just flexing with the new needs of my wife-hood and motherhood. Like I said, I try to do the next right thing and sometimes I fail miserably.

I started out with the boy being an addict. Something we’ve been dealing with for the last couple of years. At first it was just drug use, then it turned into what it is today; full on addiction to one of the worst drugs on the street. I learned to deal in the “tough love” arena. Tough love, I think, is harder on the parent, because it feels not only as if you are doing nothing, it feels as if you are abandoning your child. The good thing is that the boy is clean and doing well, so the love isn’t so tough when cancer entered and life got a different kind of  hard.

So I’m doing this thing by rote and …

The doctors say cancer and they are acting as if they are delivering a death sentence. Cold and clinical … cancer, here’s a referral.

Head spinning, heart breaking and tears like a waterfall gushing out of control … I start this new season. I pray. I cry. I wake up in the middle of the night and pray while I lean over to see if my husband is breathing.

Before the diagnosis his breathing was a given. I didn’t think about it, like I don’t think about my own. Now all of a sudden I have death in my head! And I hear (now) …

Be careful what you hear …

This doesn’t feel like faith to me, so I pray more.

I.AM.A.MESS.

But then things take on a routine … The Hubs is doing fine, he’s feeling okay and we get into this new groove. But the groove doesn’t feel right. It feels like acceptance of something that is not of God. And I hear …

What you tolerate you accept. And I pray.

So I pray and The Hubs and I talk about it. We talk about a lot of things. Somewhere we begin to discuss the fact that he is going to refuse anymore chemo.

I.AM.A.MESS. … Again.

DO NOTHING?! What!? Can we really do nothing?! Is nothing what we should have done all along??

A.MESS.

I just need this all to stop and then the boy falls down. He’s using.

I.PRAY.

So what’s the testimony? Hey, I still don’t know if this is even a testimony! Maybe it’s a lesson on the reality of what a wife/mother does during a health struggle of a loved one.

I.Pray.

That’s what I do. I go to every appointment, I drive the boy to every court date and P.O. meeting. And I pray.

I go to God at the end of everyday. Because I don’t always hold it together well some days. In fact my comfortable day to day no longer exists.

I get depressed. I get angry (not at God); angry at doctors, protocols, cancer and heroin. I yell and I cry and sometimes I reject the encouragement of others trying to help me, when they don’t know what else to do.

I am often A.MESS. And you know what?

That is not a lack of faith. It is not a crisis of faith. It is not anger at God.

It is reality. And it is normal and it is okay! Even God accepts it, after all He knew what He was asking me to do when He created me. And He knew how I would handle it.

So … I pray.

What do I pray? Well if you read this blog regularly you know I am really into praying God’s Word. Can’t go wrong praying God’s promises or what He says about things. Yes. It’s the easy way. It may even be cheating … but hey, God gave me the answers so …

I.Pray. the answers.

I’m going to post a list of scriptures I use to keep me from trying to make deals with and/or manipulate God and His will. Because if there are a few things that I REALLY believe it’s …

God’s got this.

God has a plan.

And WE WERE healed.

These are scriptures that I, and our friends, regularly pray over my husband and son. These scriptures can be used by anyone for anything, obviously! 1 John 4:4; Isaiah 53:5; Isaiah 54:17; Psalm 118:14; Psalm 103:2; Jeremiah 30:17; Nahum 1:9 and Luke 5:17.

Copyright © AHutchinsonPhotography™ 2007 - 2014- All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material and/or photographs without express and written permission from the writer/photographer is strictly prohibited.

O’ Lord this man.
We declare and decree the Word of God.
“Greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world.”
“By His stripes you are healed.”
“No weapon formed against you shall prosper.”
“You shall not die but live and declare the works of the Lord.”
“Don’t forget the benefits of God. He heals all our diseases.”
“The Lord will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds.”
“Affliction will not rise up a second time.”
“The power of the Lord is present to heal you.”

The Power of the Lord is present to heal you! Isn’t that wonderful?

I also rely heavily upon Psalm 91, because it contains EVERY promise God made to us! EVERY.ONE. It reassures my heart and clears my mind.

1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.” 3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler[a] And from the perilous pestilence. 4 He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler. 5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, Nor of the arrow that flies by day, 6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday. 7 A thousand may fall at your side, And ten thousand at your right hand; But it shall not come near you. 8 Only with your eyes shall you look, And see the reward of the wicked. 9 Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge, Even the Most High, your dwelling place, 10 No evil shall befall you, Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling; 11 For He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you in all your ways. 12 In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone. 13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot. 14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. 15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life I will satisfy him, And show him My salvation.”

1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”
3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler[a]
And from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.
9 Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.
14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

That’s my testimony! That I know, no matter what has taken place on any day, at any appointment, that the Power of the Lord is present to heal! That’s how I do this … that no matter my level of fear or anger …I.KNOW.GOD. and I.Pray.Thanks for reading. God bless.

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I Tell YOU the Truth |Tues. @ 10


Happy Tuesday … Where we, a growing group of creatives get a prompt word meant to spark creativity in the heart of the writer, or the photographer, or artist, in them. Just about a week is given for the creator to create from this word and all that is asked is that you share and check out what your neighbor in the link up list did with the prompt. You’ll be surprised at how often we are all led on the same path!

Tuesday @ Ten

Tuesday @ Ten

 

Today’s Tuesday Prompt is …. Truth.

“I tell you the truth …”

Jesus is quoted as saying that phrase 78 times in the New Testament! 78 … that’s a lot of truth, but that is part of why he came to earth as a man. To testify to the Truth of God. More interesting: 30 of those truths were recorded just in the book of Matthew.

To tell you the truth, we need healing in our house. A lot of healing. And today I am having a very hard time with the information we got from the doctors at The Hubs’ last two visits. In  my head, and usually in my heart, I know and cannot be moved away from the knowledge that we WERE healed by Jesus’ sacrifice, for US, on the cross. This is knowledge in our home.

It is Truth in our home.

Lord, I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief! Mark 9:24 (my prayer, taken from the same story but in the book of Mark.)

Matthew 17:14-23

The Healing of a Boy with a demon: also — Mk 9:14-28; Lk 9:37-42

14 When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before him. 15 “Lord, have mercy on my son,” he said. “He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. 16 I brought him to your disciples, but they could not heal him.” 17 “O unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me.” 18 Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed from that moment. 19 Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?” 20 He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” 22 When they came together in Galilee, he said to them, “The Son of Man is going to be betrayed into the hands of men. 23 They will kill him, and on the third day he will be raised to life.” And the disciples were filled with grief.
*****
 This causes me concern about my faith. And if I’m having a crisis of faith right now, it’s not my faith in God’s promise of healing! It’s about my level of faith being hammered at almost daily for over a year. I thank God that it is His faith that works in and through me and not a faith that I must maintain on my own!
I said to my husband last night, in heartbroken, absolute truth, that it is so hard to hear these things and look at him vibrantly himself. It rocks me that he can be virtually well yet this thing can be inside of him trying to kill him! I told him that I wouldn’t be having such a hard time with his decision to NOT do anything about what they were telling us (he’s decided to refuse anymore chemo; but is willing to consider clinical trials for experimental drugs.) if he were ill and suffering. Somehow it would be easier to just quietly sit back in my sorrow about his refusal.
But, like he says, the chemo doesn’t seem to be doing anything (reminder to self: chemo is poison, not medicine!) can doing nothing really be worse?
And my wife/mother screams in my head … WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING! Yet, the truthful questions is: Do we? or Does God?
The amazing truth is he looks great! He feels and functions almost at his norm, except for some fatigue.
It’s amazing, as much as the schedule and the chemo stressed him and fatigued him, I’ll say it again, he did not experience what we all hear about and see on TV, or what others seem to have experienced with their loved ones.
No days of pain and suffering. No horrible, wasting illness. No vomiting and not being able to eat. None of that.
And it is for those very “NOs” that we remain faithful to God’s assurances of The Hubs’ healing.
And then the doctors tell us “their” truth. So when we were told what we were told yesterday their truth rocked my truth. So to decided to do nothing is beyond my scope right now.
The truth is, though, that it is ultimately my husband’s, and God’s, decision. Though I did honestly tell him that while I support his decision he needs to keep in mind that he [they] is making life altering decisions for both our lives.
Truthfully. I believe God. The Hubs looks and feels great, though right now, today, he is angry and frustrated that all this year’s work and treatments seem to have been for naught. We believe, we know, that God has healed him. That God is bigger than the doctors reports and tests and protocols.
Yet today’s Truth is that I am spent. I posted for all our loved ones and friends in the faith and prayer that we were home and were moving forward for the possibility of the clinical trial, and most took that as the good news that it is. But like the chemo (which isn’t curative or even really a medicine) the trial medications are unproved and may be non-curative either. It’s a clinical trial. The doctors and manufacturers have high hopes and so do we.
The truth is …. I am ready for the manifestation of healing in Hutchland. I am ready to stop feeling like I have to be waiting for the next report.
I am ready for the doctors and the world to understand the Truth, that …
Only God heals. Jesus is the only cure.
Like The Hubs says and stands by: The doctors are not curing him, God is. The doctors cannot heal him, only God can.
So today I will continue to recite that … Only God. Only Jesus. He is our cure. He is our doctor. He is our healer.
Hiding-Psalm-27-in-My-Heart_DoNotDepart I’m going to add here today’s attempt at my memorization of Psalm 27: 1 & 2 … here goes!
1. The Lord is my light and my strength; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?
2.When the wicked came against me The to eat up my flesh, My enemies all fell  and foes, they stumbled and fell.
Not too bad for the second day of adding verse two!
I thought that Psalm 27 fit this post, truthfully. These two verses are a big part of what I am and will be focusing on in regard to our current circumstances here in Hutchland.
I refuse to allow the enemy to kill my two men (the second being my youngest. I wrote a post on Sunday about my son’s struggle here.)
Quite frankly it’s been a very trying couple of weeks for this wife and mother.
Thanks for reading. Blessings to you, all.
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How God Assures Me He’s On It :: A Much Needed Sunday Healing


Sweet, Sad Eyed Boy

Sweet, Sad Eyed Boy

This is my sweet boy. My youngest. My sad little guy. And OH how he had reason for that sweet, sad look. And OH how I sometimes, still, ache for my blindness.

The Man

The Man

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is the man… angry and battling his demons. Very scary demons. And OH how I dreamed of reaching that sweet boy who was hidden in that angry man. I was incapable of reaching into him, to the boy. He wouldn’t let me. I wasn’t, still am not allowed to even hug him. It’s truly heartbreaking for me. And I’m sure his heart is broken. But He battles daily with his illness, his addiction. Heroin. And even when he stumbles, slips and falls flat out; he gets back up to battle. He’s superman in his head. He still thinks he needs to be I think. Because, I couldn’t protect him, because he couldn’t tell me … until they did, when they were barely in grade school … and the man (teen) you see above hid the sweet boy. Seemingly forever.

He fell this week. Wasn’t able to recover from an apparent stumble and now he starts over again. And my heart is broken watching him be sick. Very sick as he starts to stand back up to this illness, this craving, whose whole intent is to kill that sweet boy he has hidden in his heart.

Shane light editThis is him at the beginning of the last run of sobriety. Tired but strong. He’ll be there again.

And I know this because God and I met in worship this morning at church. I started the day very worried about my sweet boy, who hasn’t been so sweet these last few days. He was sick and in pain and irritable. I mean who wouldn’t be when they felt sick; I certainly am not fun when I am ill. But this is different.

There’s nothing I can do. And if I do something I am jeopardizing his life by enabling him. He has to walk out the withdrawl himself. He has to want to feel better. He has to choose between sobriety  and oblivion.

Unlike the cancer his father battles, the boy chose his illness. Chose oblivion over the demons of something he had no say in and I had no knowledge of. The demons who continue to tell him it was his fault. The demons that tell him I should have known. The demons who tell him he’s superman and he can live through the dangerous choices. The demons who tell him no one loves him because he’s unlovable now. This monster heroin quiets the demons I imagine. But then they begin to rustle again and bite … I cannot fathom the pain, though I experience his pain and suffering while he battles the withdrawl and fights for the breath of air that sobriety brings him.

As I sang praises to God today. As I worshiped the Father that promises to heal us. I cried out and from the depth of this mother’s heart and soul I sought my God’s assistance for my sweet boy. And God assured me that with that relinquishing, once again, of my boy to His care, that the boy, the man, would be healed.

During this song, as the lead singer of our worship band and assistance pastor sang this favorite, God met me in my aching for my sweet boy. I quieted and prayed for him and for The Hubs and was assured that He had them, that their healings were imminent, promised. And I quieted into the precious peace of the music, in Father’s presence.

You see, I’ve realized that the enemy has put a hit out on this family. Two of my men are battling grave illnesses, and the boy does not know the promises we believe! So I, WE, as a family must believe for him. He does not know that heroin addiction cannot kill him, as his father knows the cancer cannot kill him, though we tell him.

The boy does not know, as the father does, that because we believe, he is saved from his illnesses and cleansed of his sins, sins that are not even his own, but believes to be. The boy doesn’t believe that Jesus loved him so much that he took the heroin needle for him to the cross and died there with that illness upon Him! So we must believe and pray until the boy understands his worth to the Father.

And what mother, father and brother wouldn’t do this for a boy, for a man?

Oh how I wish the boy believed that he would live. Oh how I wish the boy believed he is loved beyond his mother’s ability to put it in words. Oh how I wish he knew the joy I get when he is well and smiles and is a participating member of this family. A participating member in his own life.

So I leave this post as another prayer to God. It holds no scripture, only a song of worship and praise to our Father God expressing my love and honor to him. I leave it as proof that I acknowledge His response to my need, my boy’s need, this morning. And I thank him again and again, without end that my sweet boy is starting to feel better and is two or three (I’m not sure) days back on the road of sobriety.

To every parent of a child who battles the illness of addiction, or any illness for that matter, I sing this song for you and your child. I pray that God vanquish this demon and send it to hell from whence it came, and I put the enemy and heroin under the feet of Jesus.

We are healed. Our children are healed. Our land is healed. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Thanks for listening to this outpouring of a mother’s heart.

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The sweet boy’s mom. =)


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Looking Up, Still …


OOOOoooo! Quick update-add on! This is my 500th blog post here at HopeAnnFaith! Whooop Whooop! smile

Five Minute Friday Time! Joining Kate and the FMF Writers for today’s prompt:

Turn.

 Follow the link in the graphic here to get the skinny on the FMF link-up and join us! We’d love to share this with you!

Now without any further delay … setting the timer …

 GoTurn your eyes upon Jesus and the things of this world will grow strangely dim.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ~ Hebrews 12:1-2

Turn away from those things that hinder and so easily entangle. Those things and people of the world who do not agree with the written will of God for our lives. What do we do when the doctor in our lives say things like: “We can never tell you you will heal” or “The chemo didn’t work, so ….”?

Or even better, professionals dealing with patients saying things like: “Oh! You’ve been doing this a year! Aren’t you one for the history books?!” What kind of backhanded encouragement (?) is that? My first thought was lady, get yourself some bedside manners before you speak to a possibly frightened patient again! Appalling in and of itself. But saddening when you think that these people don’t know God and His promises of healing for all of us.

So, yeah. I schooled them in the facts of The Hubs progress and in how BIG our God is compared to their knowledge and protocol. I was polite but firm and basically told them how they could speak about this malady in reference to our lives. The doctor just shook her head like I was a poor unfortunate imbecile; but the nurse, she knew about God, she’d obviously had some church in her life, praise God! She apologized and thanked me for giving her a different view about how her patients might be dealing with cancer in their lives. My response was thank you and not everyone owns their illnesses, some of us refuse to allow an illness or disease to take hold within us. WE here in Hutchand DO NOT take ownership of anything that did not come from God!

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. ~ James 1:17

That’s just how we roll here in Hutchland, according to what God says about this life of ours. I’m not saying we got it down pat, we don’t. But when we get it wrong, the minute we realize it, usually at Holy Spirit’s correction, we pick up, dust ourselves off , repent and get back on that path called LIFE, God has set before us.

So where do you turn when things don’t seem correct in your day to day? Where do you look when the world tells you something upside down and inside out? Do you turn to Jesus? Do you look up? Join us and let us know where you turn.

stop

 

 

 

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

Thank you for reading. =)

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I will never leave or forsake … He said. | 31days of 31days on FMF!


It’s the last day of the week, and the last day of the month, on the last day of the 31day Write! And as we leave this challenge behind us I’d like to say,

CONGRATULATIONS!

To ALL of us who managed to write for 31 days in a row! It’s quite the accomplishment. I, for one, found it very difficult around the middle of the second week. Life got in the way and I was forced to seek inspiration … though my theme is an everyday thing in Hutchland. For me, I’m not sure it made me a better writer or story teller or inspiration.

It did though do what I set out to do, I got deeper into what God says about OUR healing. I found that when one digs and dusts off and consumes God’s word revelation, understanding and knowledge is absorbed. I believe the challenge did it’s job.

So on this day I will leave the subject of Journeying through Healing Scriptures with a FMF post.

 

 If you’re new to Five Minute Friday, all the details you’ll need can be found right     over here.

  As we leave the 31 day write Kate gave us this  prompt: LEAVE. Very apropos, I think.

 So with out further ado … Go!

 

As I’ve said before there are certain words that simply take my thoughts and spirit right to scripture. Leave is one of these words.

The word leave has a sad feeling to me. We do much leaving in  a life. We leave for our first day of school, there’s the first time we leave our parents to stay over night with a friend, we leave for college and we leave our mother and father to marry and begin a new extension or branch of our family tree.

Yes, these are all rights of passage as we leave one stage of life for another on our journey to maturity and independence as people.

But the word leave also conjures, for me, feelings of fear and anger and desolation; from a past where most everyone left me at one time or another. For various reasons only understood by the departed, from a young age leaving was something everyone did, whether it was physically, mentally or emotionally. On every level my siblings and I were left … alone … to learn to survive on our own. And we did, however that washes out today in each of us, we survived, and for that I am eternally grateful to God.

So today this word, LEAVE, doesn’t leave such a metallic taste in my mouth.  My heart no longer drops at the goodbye or the realization that I am alone. Because I am never alone, anymore.

Let’s be honest ….

[STOP! {for the FMF post}! And, now, to finish out The 31day Write … please continue …]

We may leave God, much like that teenager we once were, embarking out on our own [power, understanding], to conquer the world, but He will never leave us.  No matter how bleak the situation, no matter how empty the feelings, God will never leave you!  His promises are true.  His word is above all and the final say!  God goes before us so that we can move forward, in the confidence that He has prepared the way, precisely because … He has gone before us.  And if God be for us, who can be against us? 

We are never truly alone. God is always with us, we were taught this in Sunday school as children, God lives in our hearts. As adults we realize, when we come to that point in our lives, that God permeates us … He is our heart, our spirit and our thinking.

At least that’s who He is in my life. And if that is the case for me, so can it be for YOU, also!

So it stands to reason that when I hear the word Leave, a particular scripture comes to mind … and this “scripture” should be called “scriptures”, because the same comforting reminder is repeated several times throughout God’s Word.

The Bible. Where God left His promise and plan and instructions for us.

God goes out of His way to repeat this particular promise over and over so that it will become ingrained,viscerally, within each and every one of us. Because for us humans to believe that we are not alone we often need something tangible. God knows this, He built us. So because He, Father God, loves us, He knew that we would need to hear and to feel Who He is to us. And He knew we would need to feel secure in it … So because …

God is LIMITLESS Love

God is LIMITLESS Love

He repeated this very important promise to us, so that it and He could become a permanent part of us.

Here I will LEAVE you with 10 instances of His promise to always be with us.

Meditate on them and know that YOU are not alone today. Because … He is right there with you, this very moment. In whatever your circumstance is today. He never leaves nor forsakes you. NEVER.

There is none like Him, and He will not allow His word to return to Him void! Col 3:16

Deuteronomy 31:6, Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; “He will never leave you nor forsake you.”


Deuteronomy 31:8
, The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.  “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”


Joshua 1:5
, No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. “As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.”


1Kings 8:57
, “May the LORD our God be with us as he was with our fathers; may He never leave us nor forsake us.”

1Chronicles 28:20, David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished.”


Psalms 37:28
, For the LORD loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. “They will be protected forever, but the offspring of the wicked will be cut off;”


Psalms 94:14
For the LORD will not reject his people; he will never forsake his inheritance.


Isaiah 41:17
  “The poor and needy search for water, but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst. But I the LORD will answer them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.”

 Isaiah 42:16  “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.”


Hebrews 13:5
  Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

 

In EACH.AND.EVERY.ONE. of these scripture God promises, 10 times!, never to leave or forsake us! NEVER.

I pray that you let the Word of God dwell in you, in all wisdom; allowing you to teach you the things that it has taught me this last 30 days. That You come to the grace of the knowledge that YOU are forgiven, saved, blessed, healed and secure in the Love of God. I pray that you come to the understanding in your hearts, in your very spirits, that all of this and so much more was secured within your salvation!

What did Jesus say before He bid the  Spirit to leave Him on that cross some 2000 years ago? He said, “It is FINISHED” In those last 3 words illness, sickness, sin and death were FINISHED. For all intents and purposes they were made to LEAVE all of humanity, never to afflict them again!

We simply need to get into the Word of God, in the presence of those who believe and understand and can instruct us in His Word, so that we can get this into our understanding, so that it becomes engrained within our Spirits and understanding until it is KNOWN, without doubt.

So with this I leave you, today.

Good job! You’ve accomplished the goal of writing for 31days! I pray you’ve learned as much as I did. I pray you’ve moved closer, each of those 31 days, to God the Father in understanding and love.

I’m going to spend 30 days in November reading some of your 31day Write Challenge posts! I cannot wait to see your offerings.

Blessing to YOU! And thank you for reading.

Thank You for Reading. Andrea

Thank You for Reading.
Andrea

31 Days Journey to Healing

31 Days Journey to Healing

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God Thinking and God Timing … Day30 of 3Days


It’s day 3o! We’ve almost completed 31 days of straight writing! Kudos to all of us who are almost to the finish!

Today I want to kind of stay on the theme of God’s Timing.

We’ve discussed God’s Timing in our healing and the fact, that I’ve come to know, that my healing was attained the moment I received my salvation in Jesus Christ. The thing is God asked us to believe Jesus … and with that believing is the believing that we are made whole in that salvation.

That is hard for us humans, because we live in this fallen world. A world that confuses, and worse, denies God’s thinking and His sovereignty in all of life.

All of this requires us to decide to purposefully, begin to think like God.

It stands to reason that if we are made in His image {Genesis 3} then we are able to think like Him.

It’s about believing what Father God says {check His Word} …

:: If there is anything I want you all to receive from this series, past your manifest healing,it is that you would check anything in your life: in all areas of your life, against what God says about that thing/circumstance; in The Bible. I have found all the answers to my circumstances there, and you will too! ::

For me it’s about the God thinking. Let’s be honest when we first begin our relationship with God, not to mention that time before we consent to our salvation, deciphering The Bible is difficult, at best. That’s what the whole go to church and fellowship thing is about.

Learning what God says about this life and how to LIVE it.

Learning that our understanding of the confines of this life: TIME, Prosperity, LIVING WELL, and illness and sin are all under God’s jurisdiction when it comes to the rules and guidelines.

What about Free Will? you ask.

That’s the dig. Like any parent, God teaches us His moral and legal laws. He teaches us how to live this life well and then …. we come to a certain maturity {age} where we begin to make our own decisions.

(I’ve always wondered if God feels like we do when we have to realize that our teenagers are making adult decisions for the first time. That loss of control feeling and the borderline terror … but then I remember that God knows the end from the beginning.) CHEATER! =)

And then He takes His hands off and we are left in that Free Will state … our defining moment!

Are we going to choose God Thinking or human {worldly} thinking? Are we going to follow His lead or the world’s lead.

(The world. You know; society, what the “professionals” say, the politicians or the masses, all of them and their opinions and studies and polls.)

Well, there’s a clear example of God’s thinking, His plan for this in Proverbs. Chapter 22, verse 6.

Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

And sometimes … we have to train ourselves up! Meaning if God is/was not apart of our lives as children when we were coming up, we will encounter God as some point in our lives. This encounter is our time to make a choice to choose His way, or for some, not.

Trust me though … God will pursue YOU if you miss that first appointment.

God is prepared for us and He will follow us until we accept His invitation!

You {God} prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever. Psalm 23:5-6

So God thinking is about us learning God’s way. We learn to trust Him at His word, even when that seems to be tested. When a circumstance like cancer manifests in our life, we most often begin to question God. We did not, but we had already trained ourselves in the ways of God and applied it to our lives! We were blessed in that. This blessing, however, is ours to share with those that encounter such apparent tragedy, so that they can see what God did in our lives and pursue those blessings in their own lives.

It’s why I share the intimacies of my life and my personal relationship with God, here.

My LIFE is about testifying about my God! About what He did to HEAL, PROSPER and CARE for me. If I show you that everyday it makes you want it and pursue the same for yourself.

Have you ever asked that friend, who seemingly has it ALL together, how she does it all? You know the friend, we all enjoy her, her house is immaculate, her children balanced and well behaved and apparently genius’! Works all day, plays with her kids, and dinner is on the table at 6,and probably looks amazing doing all of this!

What is her answer? On all of the “MOM Blogs” I read they credit God.

But what about those ladies who don’t have a relationship with God? They often credit themselves and the fact that they have no choice and their time is not their own! Most would explain it with complaint and express the desire to have some relief.

What would I say? Well I would be honest … my house has a lived in feel, at best, if not messy! I’m getting better with this, but I was not built to be a natural housewife! How do I get along with our schedule? It is what it is, with all the appointments, work {thank God that he’s blessed me with the pleasure of working from home.} and just life? I would tell you that I have no choice … but to put my day, each day, in God’s hands and I do my best to be content with the outcome.

Some days are better than others when we talk about the outcome; but it is what it’s supposed to be.

I would credit God with my successes and I would tell you that I didn’t press in to God when it comes to my failures. I would say this because I have looked back upon those failures and realize that I chose to do something in my own power and I failed.

I’ve come to the realization that I do nothing without God. I don’t breath, I don’t function, I don’t succeed when I remove God from the equation of my life and decisions. That’s what I would tell you if you asked.

For me this life is about God’s time and thinking.

The only way I accept God’s timing is to adopt His thinking on the subject of life.

I am fully persuaded that God’s got this, He’s got me and if I can, each day, each moment, leave it to Him things will be alright. Even if it isn’t what I saw happening.

And I can be persuaded because I have worked with God on tailoring my thinking to be like His. It’s a process and just when I think I’ve got it down another challenge crops up for me to increase my God thinking.

It’s kind of like : WWJD [what would Jesus do] … but more like WDGWMTD [what does God want me to do] and I then check the Word for instruction if it’s not clear.  And who has the time for that, you ask?

My answer: I don’t have the time for anything else. I’d rather get it done, then have to go back and fix it!

The fear [reverence] of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, But fools despise wisdom and instruction. My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother; For they will be a graceful ornament on your head, And chains about your neck. Proverbs 1:7-9

Everything is in God’s timing. Being able to think like God comes in His timing, and for me, it seems, that time is now. Look around you. See the miracles of light, of trees of your children … realize that God CREATED it all, and some of it just for YOU! What was He thinking?

He was thinking about US! About that desire that we have Life and Life MORE abundant.

Why then do we desire to control time and deny His thinking? Is there something you want to change in your thinking? God wants to guide you today. Do you need some concrete direction for your life? I suggest the book of Proverbs … how to live life the way God intends is spelled out right there.

The best way to understand God’s timing and learn to think like Him is by reading His Word. That’s my encouragement today, and every day! Get in the Word.

Thanks for reading.

Thank You for Reading. Andrea

Thank You for Reading.
Andrea

31 Days Journey to Healing

31 Days Journey to Healing

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