HOPE*ann*FAITH

Learning to Live , Again, On Purpose.


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Trying to Be Still in Overwhelming Circumstances |Few Words Thursday


christmas box

Just this week I participated in a word prompt exercise on Fear, you can read it {here}, if you haven’t already. That was Tuesday. It’s Thursday and what I began knowing was going to be an over full week has become more full! Isn’t it just the way of the enemy to attack just as you think you’ve come to a place of rest. Well as versed as I am in fear, and how I handle, it a whole new version of an old foe has reared it’s ugly head.

Anxiety.

Anxiety about the holiday. Anxiety about the clinical trial. And anxiety about this illness getting in the way of our family’s happiness and joy, especially at this time of year. It’s The Hubs’ favorite season, Christmas!

The research doctor at RCI called about needing The Hubs to have another CAT scan; the original biopsy was not big enough to get what they needed, so they need to start with a CT scan. Well that said, he had a CT scan a week after we saw her, so they used that. This morning the research nurse called about scheduling the biopsy. Next week is out due to his work schedule, so that leaves the week before Christmas.

THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS! I HAVE ABSOLUTELY “0” DONE!

Now anyone who knows me knows that the hoopla around the Christmas Holiday doesn’t usually appeal to me. I’ve never liked the music or the decorations. I do, however, LOVE the meaning, the family and the togetherness with people we love. But all the hoopla … I always preferred to avoid, as in “I” didn’t touch the tree and things like that, the decorating, lighting and background music of the holiday. Let’s just say that the holidays were always  a source of chaos and anxiety, or worse, when I was a child.

The last couple of years (and I mean like 2) I’ve been feeling more “into” the celebration and decorations part of the holiday.

This year I’ve actually been feeling quite festive. Albeit a very new feeling for me.

I know it’s because I am so grateful for my time with The Hubs and our little family here in Hutchland. =)

And who deserves the honor and glory for that “new” feeling? Jesus. Yes, he does.

Then the calls … We were in a holding pattern of perpetual waiting with this clinical trial possibility, and it’s still only a possibility! The holding pattern was frustrating, I was going to call them Monday about where we were; then they called.

Now I’m feeling like that chaos and anxiety are invading again. All of a sudden I have absolutely no idea how I’m going to get this Christmas up, festive and complete with all this going on in the only two weeks we have to do it all in!

Anxiety makes being Still very hard. I have to force myself to pray and trust God. For some odd reason my heart and head are spinning again and I’m having issues getting it under control.

So what to do?

I’m praying in tongues, in my head and out loud. I am thanking God for His hand on and plan for our lives and resisting the urge to beg Him to fix all this.

He will. He is. I know this, but right this very moment I just need something concrete to know that my world isn’t rushing off on some chaotic run away roller coaster!

So I’ll read the bible. I’ll study for the Bible Lesson I’m giving tonight at bible study. I’ll continue to pray and hopefully I’ll be able to get something constructive done today.

I wish, I pray for answers, to know why I’m feeling like this. Why the anxiety after all this time (15 months).

I have a sound mind … I have power and love; everything to conquer this unfounded fear. Now I just need to remember how to use them.

So first, here, I’ll work on my memory verse and meditate on what it means when God is my fortress and stronghold!

Hiding-Psalm-27-in-My-Heart_DoNotDepart

Psalm 27:1-3 (with the Productivity501 tool in front of me.) While praying in tongues. The red is where I had to check the psalm for the right word and the cross outs are self explanatory. (Got that word, or run, incorrect.) The purple is my “commentary”. 😉

1. The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?

2. When the wicked came against me to eat up my flesh, My enemies and foes, they stumbled and fell. (Thank you Lord! feeling better now.)

3. Though an army may encamp against me, My heart shall not fear; Though war may rise against me, In this (God, God’s Word) I will be confident.

{Psalm 27 is such an amazing Scripture to be memorizing at this time in my life. I thank God that I stumbled upon it in my blog hopping!}

In this circumstance of our lives cancer and addiction are certainly our enemies and foes; but I need not be afraid, If God is with me of whom or what shall I be afraid?

Romans 8:28-32

28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.

God’s Everlasting Love

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?

After writing this diary-esque post, I feel better. I think I am just overwhelmed with all of the hubbub around the holiday and this clinical trial. I am purposefully going to keep my mind on the REASON FOR THE SEASON and try to not be overwhelmed by getting it all perfect. Because frankly, this girl has NEVER been perfect, especially around the holidays, nor have I ever striven for such a thing.

I’m going to remind myself that God perfects what concerns me … and I am going to be confident in Him and what His Word says about all of this hoopla!

Psalm 138:7-9

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me;
You will stretch out Your hand
Against the wrath of my enemies,
And Your right hand will save me.
The Lord will perfect that which concerns me;
Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever;
Do not forsake the works of Your hands.

 

Christmas is about celebrating our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. All the rest of it is just frills that we created to make us happy. I’m going to sit in the hay with my pups and rejoice that Jesus came to save me and that He is working with Father God, right now, to bring about the perfect results for our lives here in Hutchland.

joy

I know my words weren’t exactly few (but I did add full scripture)!

Thanks for reading my diary of woe. It’s wonderful to know you’re here listening (reading, ha.)

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When I’m not grace-filled. – So I Married a Youth Pastor


Amazing post on Grace! A must read.

When I’m not grace-filled. – So I Married a Youth Pastor.


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A Relationship with God * His Grace.


GraceGrace:

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ. In accordance with his pleasure and will – Ephesians 1:4-5

Grace is a huge subject and one I am very careful with. Why, you ask?

Because right now Grace is the “BIG, NEW” thing in Christian “revelation”; and I am concerned about how the message of Grace is being taught in some circles.

Quite frankly there is NOTHING new about God’s grace and God’s grace is BIG! Grace holds the same tremendous message as it did when Jesus came here as man, and so much more!

Jesus was God’s grace. Jesus is Grace. Jesus extends Grace.

We were extended God’s grace in the man of Jesus. We are to extend God’s grace to others. We are to show God’s grace in the fruit of our lives.

See … there is so much more than we can fathom in one small and beautiful word.

Grace is about Relationship.

{for this post I was lead to the relationship with God that we receive through grace}

Like I said Grace is so many things. Such a broad canvas, but it began with God and His desire for relationship … with us.

RelationshipGrace was sent and Grace chose us before the creation of the world! Do you realize what that means? God created this world for us. So we would have a place to live and be with Him! By His Grace, and for His pleasure and will He created us to be Sons of God! And to secure that in it’s most pure and holy form God sent His only Son for us.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

That’s it. That’s the Grace we are all talking about. We didn’t deserve it. We don’t deserve it. It’s simply that God loves us.

ALL.OF.US.EVERYONE.

Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham.  For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” Luke 19:9-10

THAT.NONE.SHOULD.PERISH.

You see, I’m a Christian. A follower of Christ on a mission to do what Jesus did and more. I’m here to show you grace. To give you grace. And to point you to the person Grace, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I am no longer lost. I have attained grace and the eternal life Jesus extended to me. It is now my job to let you know this …

By God’s grace He loves you. Right where you are. And too much to leave you there!

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, where you’ve been. He chooses YOU. Right Now. Right Here.

Have you accepted the gift of Grace? Have you accepted the Grace that is Jesus Christ? Do you believe that He died on the cross for your sins and sickness? Do you believe that He rose again to reconcile God’s relationship with you and for you?

If your answer, today, is YES, then you’ve entered into the Grace.

The Grace that is the Love of God. Jesus.

Welcome to the journey, there is much to do and learn, and you are not alone. There are many of us here with you … come let us walk with Jesus.

If you have any questions, please, I would be happy to share this truth with you personally. You can contact me through the comments or personally at: romans826-28@comcast.net

Thanks for reading my friends. And blessings to you all.

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Tuesday @ Ten

Tuesday @ Ten


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Humbly Speaking About Humility | Tuesday@10 on Day 21 of 31Days


It’s Tuesday again, the day I attempt to utilize the Word Prompt from Tuesday@10 into The 31Day Writing Challenge! Some are easier than others … this one took some pondering, though I know what I wanted to get across.

This weeks prompt from KarenBeth is Humility and it certainly took a bit of time to wrap Healing up into Humility.

So may I humbly submit to you, my offering of prayer and healing to you, today.

Breaking Through to the Other Side of It ...

Breaking Through to the Other Side of It …

“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” James 4:10

True humility is a virtue I desire, most Christians desire; but like many of God’s characteristics, humility is not one I come by naturally.

Humility is not a value; it doesn’t express weakness or timidity. It is, rather, a gift from God, by grace, that should be revealed through our character. Humility, by definition is the opposite of pride.  And Jesus taught on humility, while on earth.

“Everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” Luke 14:11

People who are truly humble do not seek attention, they do not seek to push a personal agenda. Genuinely humble Christians seek only to advance God by being the example of what God does through them, as individuals. It’s not about me teaching you how to pray, or instructing you how to receive your healing. It’s my showing, through my life and experiences, how God The Father has worked His plan through me!

God works mightily through the honest humility of people!

I can humbly tell you that I don’t know why I am alive today, after the diagnosis of congestive heart failure 5 years ago. I haven’t lost the necessary weight yet that would ensure heart health; though I’ve made strides and then failed. But I’ve gotten up from that failure to stride again, by the grace of God! It’s not me … my health is completely about God and His plan for me.

It is in all humility that I stand in awe of God’s Works, when it comes to The Hubs life and battle with the diagnosis of cancer! It is definitely by His Grace alone that we have come to this place in this battle full of life and love and testimony of healing and health. It is by God’s grace that The Hubs continues to stun the doctors with vibrant lung health even as they refuse to tell us that the cancer is gone and he is healed. And it will be to God’s Glory and Honor alone when they come to the conclusion that The Hubs is, most definitely Healed and Healthy! I anticipate, with great joy and excitement, that testimony!

I don’t have the answers, except that I believe God at His Word that I am {we are}  healed and that He has a purpose for me! I do not know the time of these miracles and their testimonies … I just know that they are there for us in God’s time. When this healing will make the most impact upon those around us!

When I stumble, and oh how I stumble, I do my level best to get back up and resubmit myself, humbly and with repentance to my Father God, always thankful that He is there with His Word to help me back up so that I can follow His instruction. I confidently put my trust in God and do not arrogantly demand that God allow me to do things on my own. I am useless on my own!

And speaking with honest humility, I have to say that I don’t do the above, ANYMORE! And when stress or life or emotions have me leaning back into my own human-ness; I humbly ask God for forgiveness, as soon as I come to my senses.

“Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress; he sent out his Word {Jesus} and healed them, and delivered them from destruction. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his Wonderful works to humankind.”

Psalm 107:19-21

… let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wonderful works to humankind.

Being thankful is a part of humility. It’s admitting that I don’t know everything, in fact I know very little of what I need to do in life, without Him to guide me. And oh, let me tell you how thankful I am! Actually there are no words to describe this gratitude!

And humbly, we declare and decree the Word of God.

“Greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world.”
I thank God that “By His stripes Iam healed.”
And “No weapon formed against me shall prosper.”
All the honor to God the Father that “I shall not die but live and declare the works of the Lord.”
“I will not forget the benefits of God. He heals all my diseases.”
I stand in awe that “The Lord restores health to me and heals me of my wounds.”
I thank Him, humbly that “Affliction will not rise up a second time.” within me.
Thank you Father that “The power of the Lord is present to heal you.”and me. In Jesus’ name I pray Your Words back to Your memory Lord, that You would see me, Your humble daughter, and bestow upon me Your healing touch. Amen.

 

Thank You for Reading. Andrea

Thank You for Reading.
Andrea

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31 Days Journey to Healing

31 Days Journey to Healing

Tuesday @ Ten

Tuesday @ Ten

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The Point of Contact … the hem of His Garment | 31 Days


31 Days: Day 20

She suffered for many years with an issue of blood. She was not supposed to be out in public, she was considered unclean. Yet she said to herself …

 

“If I only touch His garment, I will get well.”… Matthew 9:21

hem

A point of contact and radical faith. She reached out, breaking all the rules and touched the hem of Jesus’ garment and was healed. At her wits end, with nothing left to lose, she did the unthinkable in her society at that time in history!

She created a point of contact with Jesus for healing. Believing, using all the faith she had been given what she had heard, that He would heal her.

The story goes on to say that Jesus felt something leave Him and asked who had touched Him … Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment.

We sometimes suffer without the confidence that He will heal us. Sometimes we cannot wrap our heads around the faith we have been given and just receive; so we continue to suffer.

Lord, I thank You that in the midst of my Praise and Worship of You I have found a point of contact. That etheral touch that I feel as I enter in and You respond to me. Oh how wonderful that Fatherly response feels to this emotionally fatherless daughter. That point at which I allow myself to feel, sense, the manifestation of wholeness within the core of my very being. Oh, but I ask, Oh Lord, that You teach me to retain that feeling, that permenant knowing that I am completely healed and whole. My Salvation gift of grace from a father thrilled with our reconciliation! All the glory and honor to You, my Lord, as my healing manifests within and without me. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Do you need a point of contact today? Do you know when you are in the presence of God the Father? If you do that is your point of contact. I encourage you to soak in that; whether it’s prayer, or a quiet time or praise and worship – where ever it is that God meets you, meet Him there and bask in that healing, until that healing is a permanent reality! God Bless.

Thank You for Reading. Andrea

Thank You for Reading.
Andrea

31 Days Journey to Healing

31 Days Journey to Healing

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A Religion that is pure … Care|31day:10 & FMF


Welcome, once again! It’s Friday, which means I write for Five Minute Friday and 31 Days. On Friday’s this month I am doing my best to combine both into Kate’s Friday Prompt. =) Kate is definitely making it easy for me so far! If you’d like to join the 1000s, yes, I said THOUSANDS of writers participating in these Writing Challenges simply follow the buttons displayed at the end of this (and all the 31) post(s).

Today’s Prompt is Care. Something I am VERY familiar with.

Go.

Taking Care

Taking Care

A religion that is pure and stainless according to God the Father is this: to take care of orphans and widows who are suffering, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.  – James 1:27

I am a natural born caretaker, God built me for it; and for many years I actually resented it. Particularly when I was called to care for family members, a few at the same time!

Care-taking is very stressful, tiring, draining …. and on and on. Yet when it’s a calling, a vocation, it can also be VERY fulfilling. If we let it, if we understand it, but only if we take all the measure necessary to care for ourselves at the same time.

I began caring for others at a very young age. My mother was, let’s say ill when I was a child, and I had to grow up. She still struggles and suffers today. I cared for her, my siblings and our home. And I was VERY young to be that old, but there was really no other option.

Caring for others came naturally to me.

Since then I’ve cared for many. In my late teens I became a CNA and worked on the “crazy” floor; I loved it. I went on from there to become a social worker working with low income families, their children, and the developmentally disabled, until I retired. Burnt out.

But God …. He was just preparing me for the most difficult jobs of my vocation.

Family.

My family has been  a difficult relationship for me over the years. I know, boohoo, everyone’s had issues in their families. But some familial relationships are most definitely more difficult and forgive me, more damaging, than others. I HAD to spend years getting over trying to please the un-pleasable, see and love them as God does, and just simply set boundaries that kept me, and my immediate family, safe from the chaos … I can’t even venture to explain this in 5 short minutes.

If a widow has family members to take care of her, let them learn that religion begins at their own doorstep and that they should pay back with gratitude some of what they have received. This pleases God immensely. – 1 Timothy 5:4

This scripture includes: fathers and grandparents and sisters and brothers!

Currently I have charge of my grandmother, who now lives in a nursing facility, and she’s very unhappy; my dad who has lived alone by choice, since I was 4; and I help my sister who is the closest in proximity to my mother who continues to live with, let’s say, many health issues.

Let me not forget who I care for here in Hutchland … The Hubs of course, but we are a working team. I just have to see to it that he takes care of himself – not an easy thing! Right ladies? Even when healthy some of our men need us to straighten out the crooked things sometimes.

And my youngest, who battles addiction. He’s a hard one sometimes. Tough love and support goes on daily here in Hutchland, but he’s overcoming! Praise God.

STOP.

Forgive me the indulgence as I finish this post? I’ll be as short as this heart allows me!

Care-taking takes a LOT out of a person. Therefore we must “keep oneself unstained by the world.” (James1:)

I had to set those boundaries I spoke about. I had to learn that “pure religion”. I had to come to the knowledge that this is one of my God required callings. Therefore I had to learn to care for myself. The alternative was to begin thinking like the world, and asking what was in this for me! Yes, be honest, we all do this at times and if we are deeply rooted in our faith we correct ourselves quickly … but we think these things, even ask God “WHY Me?!” when we forget to care for ourselves. We care-takers must learn this so that we can continue to care for our loved ones.

I battled. I truly did, with the resentment that the people (not the Hubs or the kiddo) God was, obviously, requiring that I care for, were the very people who did not care for me as a child. Who, sometimes still, do not know me until they need me. And as of today they pretty much need me all the time. I had to put that resentment aside and love them like God loves them; see them like Father sees them.

See them like Father sees ME! Oh my, that was a humbling experience. A God Lesson!

OM goodness! SEE THEM LIKE HE SEES ME! That was a true revelation. That was that relationship, that unconditional relationship of love. I had to do that!

Well, by His Grace alone, He showed me how. Because HONESTLY I was completely incapable of those unconditional relationships without Him! We all are, actually, but I was I had some serious, and not unreasonable (in a worldly way), conditions!

Thank goodness He is faithful to this girl.

I said all this to get across that “Pure Religion” isn’t religion at all; it’s RELATIONSHIP. It’s love that forgives and cares for others, always and no matter what.

Because of these lessons I enjoy relationships with those family members that is unique in our family. At a time that is crucial in their lives. And my life is richer for it.

As the Word says … Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. (Psalm 55:22).

He did it for me … how much more will He do it for you?

So what are your cares today? Share them with us … Thanks for reading. =)

Andrea

Andrea

31 Days Journey to Healing

31 Days Journey to Healing

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31 Days!

31 Days!

31 days of Five Minute Free Writes

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What I say … It’s Day 8 of the 31 day writing challenge!


Was struck by Kate Motaung’s prompt for 31 days of 5 minute free writes this morning, as I had been thinking about a concept that I’d been taught in my Christian walk.

Speaking Life.

So for today’s post – 8th of the 31 – I am going to use Kate’s prompt for my Healing Scripture post. =) Thanks Kate!

by your words ... FWTh

A few years ago I tried my hand at my own blog link up. I only had a few followers and it didn’t take off … Few Words Thursday came out of a desire to say what I had to say concisely and to the point, in a profound manner that really caught the thoughts of another. I remain one of those people that you come to only if you want it straight up and to the point.

The wound [word] of a friend can be trusted. Proverbs 27:6A. A true friend always tells the truth in love and with grace.

But this challenge, for me, is about healing and what that brings to mind in reference to the prompt “say” has to do with what we speak. What we say, outloud and within our selves, quietly.

The Word says that we were made in God’s image. Genesis 1:27.

It also says we would do the things Jesus did and greater things. John 14:12.

It’s all about what the Word says.

So in as few words as possible, in memory to my fallen link up … =)

When it comes to illness in Hutchland we don’t speak the illness. We say what God says about the illness. We put the name of the illness or ailment under the feet and blood of Jesus. And God says …

The Lord does not delay and is not tardy or slow about what He promises, according to some people’s conception of slowness, but He is long-suffering (extraordinarily patient) toward you, not desiring that any should perish, but that all should turn to repentance.

2 Peter 3:9

For he “has put everything under his feet.” Now when it says that “everything” has been put under him, it is clear that this does not include God himself, who put everything under Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:27

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, Philippians 2:9-10

Cancer is under the feet of Jesus. CHF is under the feet of Jesus. Obesity is under the feet of Jesus. Addictions is under the feet of Jesus.

Those names are beneath the name of Jesus.

So what do we say, here in Hutchland, about these diagnosis’?

We say the Word of God over them. We speak life in this house, not death! We say …

The diagnosis is under our feet {we were created in the likeness of God; likeness meaning God’s DNA.} because we’ve been given that authority.

We DO NOT say “I have” or “My (fill in the illness)” … I never say The Hubs has lung cancer … I say the diagnosis the doctors reported to us was …. We don’t own things that are not apart of God.

We say life and life more abundant! We say … but God … to all the reports that do not fit into God’s Word and Will.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

We say we are Blessed of God and Healed in the name of Jesus’ and God hears that and He honors our trust in Him with wonders and miracles!

Like …

The Hubs, in over a year, has had very little of the side effects that we are accustomed to hearing in regard to cancer and chemotherapy. VERY LITTLE nausea or vomiting. NO days and weeks in bed debilitated by the treatments, which cause as much, or more harm than good.

Miracles happen when we SAY what God says about the circumstances of our lives!

So I suggest that we all work on not saying the negative! Replace our negative thoughts and words with God’s life giving thoughts and words!

Say LIFE! That’s what we do here in Hutchland; no matter how hard the day may be, we Speak Life!

Blessings to you and Thanks so much for reading!

Andrea

Andrea

 

 

31 Days Journey to Healing

31 Days Journey to Healing

 

 

31 days of Five Minute Free Writes

31 days of Five Minute Free Writes

 

 

31 Days!

31 Days!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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