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Dreams & Desires ~ How they are fulfilled.


Over at Finding the Grace Within the Tuesday at Ten’s Prompt this week is Dream … and I ponder, and I wonder …

Eternity

Lately I’ve had odd dreams. Caused, I am sure, by the late hours I keep and the early mornings that we have in getting to The Hub’s treatments which started again this week. Five days a week once a month … actually 6 days if you count the ride up the Monday after for the Neulasta shot.

That said, those are not the dreams I will be talking about today.

I want to address how dreams can be altered by circumstances in our lives. And quite frankly how we, here in Hutchland, don’t allow that.

Those who live outside of God or faith or religion, however you term it [though all those terms are truly separate from one another] run to the wrong places and people when their dreams are threatened by someone, something or circumstances. They cling to their dreams while believing, in that shattered way, that their dream is unattainable due to these outside forces.

However, I am here to testify that one’s dreams and aspirations are from our Father Creator and cannot be “shattered” or “stolen” unless we allow them to; and we allow them to slip through our hands because we don’t trust the source of those dreams. Or because we don’t [either by ignorance or choice] have a fully mature relationship with our Father Creator.

He gives us those dreams. Those precious desires of our heart. So that we will fulfill our divine destinies.

That said …

Some would think that our dreams had been shattered 18 months ago with the cancer diagnosis, but they were not. We don’t accept the unacceptable here in Hutchland. The cancer is a trial, a diagnosis …

But God ….

More Than Conquerors translates to Huper Nikos in the Greek.

Romans 8:31

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? [to cancer and doctors proclamations] If God is for us, who can be against us?

 

Our dreams and our future are in God’s hands. God put our desires and our dreams into us and they cannot be shattered by the enemy … unless we allow it [like I said previously]. And then, isn’t that us shattering them?

Don’t get me wrong I focus on only one dream these days … but it’s the same dream I embarked on over 5 years ago when I asked God to remove anything from me that was not of him. That dream, that request has grown to encompass the whole family and our lives … things are being removed.

*obesity

*heart issues

*addictions

*cancer

*lack

I asked for ….

Healing. Wholeness. Complete Health.

Just a heads up … Be sure you’re ready for change when you ask God to do something or to fulfill your dreams. He searches our hearts and when we’re found truly ready and willing for refinement, he answers that prayer. The results are no less than painful and so much more. A true refinement begins.

1 Peter 1:6-8

A Living Hope
…In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,…

Jeremiah 17:10

I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.

Psalm 37:3-5

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.

You see … Dreams are one of the ways God guides us to our purpose; and we live on purpose here in Hutchland. We asked for healing and complete divine health and those things that were not of God are being removed for God’s glory.

Now we don’t know what the future holds, but we do know who holds that future in His hands, and we believe Him.

Please Note: I said we BELIEVE God. I didn’t say we believe in God … He’s not a fairy tale or a story that we fantasize  is real. We know Him to be a tangible part of our lives and we trust and believe Him and His Word and at His Word.

He’s brought many dreams to fulfillment for us. Some little and unassuming and some HUGE and fantastic.

All dreams. All prayers and desires. All fulfilled … You may know them as blessings.

By any other name they are God working in our lives.

What dreams do you have today?

Have you brought them to God or have you trusted them to man? … Well, let me know, because that my dear readers is a post coming soon to HopeAnnFaith Blog!

Thanks for stopping by and as always Blessings to you and yours.

ASignature


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Growing Mature in the Waiting


Five Minute Friday … All writing, no editing! Join our community over on Kate’s blog; where we share from the heart, throwing grammar and punctuation to the wind!

I’ve attempted this post three times in the past six days! The words come to me in God’s timing … and I wait on them before I venture forth. =)

Today’s (Friday, the 30th’s) Prompt is: Wait … Go!

There is a lot we wait for in our life times. We spend time waiting on line, on hold and on God. And there in lies the key.

Waiting on God and His perfect timing. For me this took much discipline over the years. I (we) want answers and guidance right now … but good comes to those who wait, and who wait on the Lord. Right? Do I hear your amen(s) echoing out there?

Lametations 3:20-26

My soul still remembers
And sinks within me.
This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!”

Hope ... I will wait for Him.

Hope … I will wait for Him.

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
 It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord.

There is much I (we) wait for here in Hutchland these days. The most pressing is healing and restoration! Cancer, Heart Issues, Obesity and Addictions; they all are what we are waiting for in all faith, trusting God at His Word. Knowing His promises are secure and our blessings are in the acknowledgement that healing and restoration was attained in our Salvation.

We have hope … in Jesus. Not the wishfullness that the  world sees as hope. Our hope is in the Lord and we will do all that we know to do. We are utilizing every option that God has presented to us in these life trials we are struggling with.

And then … We wait …

and … Be still [wait] , and know that He IS God; He will be exalted among the nations, He will be exalted in the earth.

Psalm 46:10

And in the wait, in the hope, in the clinging to God’s Faith, I find myself assured of the Answer. I find control of emotion and wisdom in the wait when I rely upon Him for the answers.

He, God, Jesus, Holy Spirit is also Answer.

So as I (we, YOU) wait, rely on God and His perfect timing. And when you wander from the line, losing your place, repeat this …

I trust YOU, Jesus. I will wait on YOU, God.

STOP.

Thanks for reading my friends! This has been a FMF post (finally!). God bless YOU!ASignature


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The Kitchenista! Vegetable Soup


Seriously, check this out! I met Ashleigh while beginning to blog and I love this chick. She is the bomb, the complete package of beautifully, truthful human-ness!

And now with the food. I think I want her for my wife! ❤

RECIPE: Vegetable Soup.


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I.Pray. | A Wife’s Testimony


Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God

when we don’t feel safe where do we go?

The shadow of the almighty

Go …

This is the testimony of the wife and mother of two who are seriously afflicted with life threatening illnesses. Honestly I am writing this in preparation of the teaching/testimony I have to give tomorrow morning at my church’s Women’s Fellowship Breakfast. And it’s not been the greatest of months for me.

I don’t think people, even those closest, notice that things are as bad as they are or can be, some days. They see me weathering the storm at church or bible studies or family gatherings and they either express that I am so strong or they just ask how my husband is. And for some, I can see that they hope my answer is quick and doesn’t require much from them. That sounds harsh, but it is not meant to be. I am well aware that they don’t know what to say or do and frankly there is nothing they can say or do. They just don’t know that that is okay.

And some days I notice that I need to talk, and some days that means me talking to God. Because, he’s the only one who can do anything about all of this …

STOP … This post took way more than 5 minutes and edits. After all it’s the draft of a testimony presentation on a really hard subject.

My testimony.

I am the wife of a wonderful man, who is battling cancer and the mother of a hurting man, who is battling heroin addiction; and I do this simultaneously and not always well.

I am simply doing the next right thing on a moment to moment basis, sometimes. Definitely the last month.

My husband has been through 2 different, months long, rounds of chemo. Taking up what is slowly becoming 2 years.

The first round to eradicate a mass that had infiltrated and completely blocked his left lung; which was found to have rendered the lung nonfunctional. He didn’t even feel it not working until he caught an upper respiratory illness, which started this season in our lives. From September 2013 to February 2014 he had chemo and radiation every two weeks. The mass decreased with each CAT scan and he came to the end of this round with full use of the lung! Success! Right?

Not according to the doctors. Because a VERY little piece of the cancer had “escaped” to the liver. With this the treatments were rendered a failure.

REALLY?! But … he has full use of the lung! Really. According to their protocol.

NOT our GOD though!

So in June, after a biopsy,  he went back into chemo; radiation was not an option for the liver. So from March to September 2014 my husband endured some very hard chemo treatments.

All the time he only got ill twice with nausea and once with something he caught. He lost his hair twice and suffered most from fatigue and feelings of weakness; oh and frustration driven moodiness!

He came out of the last round of chemo and the CAT scan showed that the “original” spot(s) were smaller, but that other lesions had developed.

Another fail, according to the doctors and the protocols.

And all the while this man of mine was vibrantly himself except for a few naps here and there.

So now he’s [we are] setting up for a clinical trial.

And with all this our youngest son is having a daily battle with heroin and he fell.

So that’s the story … what’s my testimony? I still don’t know how to put that into words.

I’m having trouble telling my story because I don’t feel as if I’m doing anything extraordinary. I’m just flexing with the new needs of my wife-hood and motherhood. Like I said, I try to do the next right thing and sometimes I fail miserably.

I started out with the boy being an addict. Something we’ve been dealing with for the last couple of years. At first it was just drug use, then it turned into what it is today; full on addiction to one of the worst drugs on the street. I learned to deal in the “tough love” arena. Tough love, I think, is harder on the parent, because it feels not only as if you are doing nothing, it feels as if you are abandoning your child. The good thing is that the boy is clean and doing well, so the love isn’t so tough when cancer entered and life got a different kind of  hard.

So I’m doing this thing by rote and …

The doctors say cancer and they are acting as if they are delivering a death sentence. Cold and clinical … cancer, here’s a referral.

Head spinning, heart breaking and tears like a waterfall gushing out of control … I start this new season. I pray. I cry. I wake up in the middle of the night and pray while I lean over to see if my husband is breathing.

Before the diagnosis his breathing was a given. I didn’t think about it, like I don’t think about my own. Now all of a sudden I have death in my head! And I hear (now) …

Be careful what you hear …

This doesn’t feel like faith to me, so I pray more.

I.AM.A.MESS.

But then things take on a routine … The Hubs is doing fine, he’s feeling okay and we get into this new groove. But the groove doesn’t feel right. It feels like acceptance of something that is not of God. And I hear …

What you tolerate you accept. And I pray.

So I pray and The Hubs and I talk about it. We talk about a lot of things. Somewhere we begin to discuss the fact that he is going to refuse anymore chemo.

I.AM.A.MESS. … Again.

DO NOTHING?! What!? Can we really do nothing?! Is nothing what we should have done all along??

A.MESS.

I just need this all to stop and then the boy falls down. He’s using.

I.PRAY.

So what’s the testimony? Hey, I still don’t know if this is even a testimony! Maybe it’s a lesson on the reality of what a wife/mother does during a health struggle of a loved one.

I.Pray.

That’s what I do. I go to every appointment, I drive the boy to every court date and P.O. meeting. And I pray.

I go to God at the end of everyday. Because I don’t always hold it together well some days. In fact my comfortable day to day no longer exists.

I get depressed. I get angry (not at God); angry at doctors, protocols, cancer and heroin. I yell and I cry and sometimes I reject the encouragement of others trying to help me, when they don’t know what else to do.

I am often A.MESS. And you know what?

That is not a lack of faith. It is not a crisis of faith. It is not anger at God.

It is reality. And it is normal and it is okay! Even God accepts it, after all He knew what He was asking me to do when He created me. And He knew how I would handle it.

So … I pray.

What do I pray? Well if you read this blog regularly you know I am really into praying God’s Word. Can’t go wrong praying God’s promises or what He says about things. Yes. It’s the easy way. It may even be cheating … but hey, God gave me the answers so …

I.Pray. the answers.

I’m going to post a list of scriptures I use to keep me from trying to make deals with and/or manipulate God and His will. Because if there are a few things that I REALLY believe it’s …

God’s got this.

God has a plan.

And WE WERE healed.

These are scriptures that I, and our friends, regularly pray over my husband and son. These scriptures can be used by anyone for anything, obviously! 1 John 4:4; Isaiah 53:5; Isaiah 54:17; Psalm 118:14; Psalm 103:2; Jeremiah 30:17; Nahum 1:9 and Luke 5:17.

Copyright © AHutchinsonPhotography™ 2007 - 2014- All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material and/or photographs without express and written permission from the writer/photographer is strictly prohibited.

O’ Lord this man.
We declare and decree the Word of God.
“Greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world.”
“By His stripes you are healed.”
“No weapon formed against you shall prosper.”
“You shall not die but live and declare the works of the Lord.”
“Don’t forget the benefits of God. He heals all our diseases.”
“The Lord will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds.”
“Affliction will not rise up a second time.”
“The power of the Lord is present to heal you.”

The Power of the Lord is present to heal you! Isn’t that wonderful?

I also rely heavily upon Psalm 91, because it contains EVERY promise God made to us! EVERY.ONE. It reassures my heart and clears my mind.

1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.” 3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler[a] And from the perilous pestilence. 4 He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler. 5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, Nor of the arrow that flies by day, 6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday. 7 A thousand may fall at your side, And ten thousand at your right hand; But it shall not come near you. 8 Only with your eyes shall you look, And see the reward of the wicked. 9 Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge, Even the Most High, your dwelling place, 10 No evil shall befall you, Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling; 11 For He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you in all your ways. 12 In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone. 13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot. 14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. 15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life I will satisfy him, And show him My salvation.”

1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”
3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler[a]
And from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.
9 Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.
14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

That’s my testimony! That I know, no matter what has taken place on any day, at any appointment, that the Power of the Lord is present to heal! That’s how I do this … that no matter my level of fear or anger …I.KNOW.GOD. and I.Pray.Thanks for reading. God bless.

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I Tell YOU the Truth |Tues. @ 10


Happy Tuesday … Where we, a growing group of creatives get a prompt word meant to spark creativity in the heart of the writer, or the photographer, or artist, in them. Just about a week is given for the creator to create from this word and all that is asked is that you share and check out what your neighbor in the link up list did with the prompt. You’ll be surprised at how often we are all led on the same path!

Tuesday @ Ten

Tuesday @ Ten

 

Today’s Tuesday Prompt is …. Truth.

“I tell you the truth …”

Jesus is quoted as saying that phrase 78 times in the New Testament! 78 … that’s a lot of truth, but that is part of why he came to earth as a man. To testify to the Truth of God. More interesting: 30 of those truths were recorded just in the book of Matthew.

To tell you the truth, we need healing in our house. A lot of healing. And today I am having a very hard time with the information we got from the doctors at The Hubs’ last two visits. In  my head, and usually in my heart, I know and cannot be moved away from the knowledge that we WERE healed by Jesus’ sacrifice, for US, on the cross. This is knowledge in our home.

It is Truth in our home.

Lord, I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief! Mark 9:24 (my prayer, taken from the same story but in the book of Mark.)

Matthew 17:14-23

The Healing of a Boy with a demon: also — Mk 9:14-28; Lk 9:37-42

14 When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before him. 15 “Lord, have mercy on my son,” he said. “He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. 16 I brought him to your disciples, but they could not heal him.” 17 “O unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me.” 18 Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed from that moment. 19 Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?” 20 He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” 22 When they came together in Galilee, he said to them, “The Son of Man is going to be betrayed into the hands of men. 23 They will kill him, and on the third day he will be raised to life.” And the disciples were filled with grief.
*****
 This causes me concern about my faith. And if I’m having a crisis of faith right now, it’s not my faith in God’s promise of healing! It’s about my level of faith being hammered at almost daily for over a year. I thank God that it is His faith that works in and through me and not a faith that I must maintain on my own!
I said to my husband last night, in heartbroken, absolute truth, that it is so hard to hear these things and look at him vibrantly himself. It rocks me that he can be virtually well yet this thing can be inside of him trying to kill him! I told him that I wouldn’t be having such a hard time with his decision to NOT do anything about what they were telling us (he’s decided to refuse anymore chemo; but is willing to consider clinical trials for experimental drugs.) if he were ill and suffering. Somehow it would be easier to just quietly sit back in my sorrow about his refusal.
But, like he says, the chemo doesn’t seem to be doing anything (reminder to self: chemo is poison, not medicine!) can doing nothing really be worse?
And my wife/mother screams in my head … WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING! Yet, the truthful questions is: Do we? or Does God?
The amazing truth is he looks great! He feels and functions almost at his norm, except for some fatigue.
It’s amazing, as much as the schedule and the chemo stressed him and fatigued him, I’ll say it again, he did not experience what we all hear about and see on TV, or what others seem to have experienced with their loved ones.
No days of pain and suffering. No horrible, wasting illness. No vomiting and not being able to eat. None of that.
And it is for those very “NOs” that we remain faithful to God’s assurances of The Hubs’ healing.
And then the doctors tell us “their” truth. So when we were told what we were told yesterday their truth rocked my truth. So to decided to do nothing is beyond my scope right now.
The truth is, though, that it is ultimately my husband’s, and God’s, decision. Though I did honestly tell him that while I support his decision he needs to keep in mind that he [they] is making life altering decisions for both our lives.
Truthfully. I believe God. The Hubs looks and feels great, though right now, today, he is angry and frustrated that all this year’s work and treatments seem to have been for naught. We believe, we know, that God has healed him. That God is bigger than the doctors reports and tests and protocols.
Yet today’s Truth is that I am spent. I posted for all our loved ones and friends in the faith and prayer that we were home and were moving forward for the possibility of the clinical trial, and most took that as the good news that it is. But like the chemo (which isn’t curative or even really a medicine) the trial medications are unproved and may be non-curative either. It’s a clinical trial. The doctors and manufacturers have high hopes and so do we.
The truth is …. I am ready for the manifestation of healing in Hutchland. I am ready to stop feeling like I have to be waiting for the next report.
I am ready for the doctors and the world to understand the Truth, that …
Only God heals. Jesus is the only cure.
Like The Hubs says and stands by: The doctors are not curing him, God is. The doctors cannot heal him, only God can.
So today I will continue to recite that … Only God. Only Jesus. He is our cure. He is our doctor. He is our healer.
Hiding-Psalm-27-in-My-Heart_DoNotDepart I’m going to add here today’s attempt at my memorization of Psalm 27: 1 & 2 … here goes!
1. The Lord is my light and my strength; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?
2.When the wicked came against me The to eat up my flesh, My enemies all fell  and foes, they stumbled and fell.
Not too bad for the second day of adding verse two!
I thought that Psalm 27 fit this post, truthfully. These two verses are a big part of what I am and will be focusing on in regard to our current circumstances here in Hutchland.
I refuse to allow the enemy to kill my two men (the second being my youngest. I wrote a post on Sunday about my son’s struggle here.)
Quite frankly it’s been a very trying couple of weeks for this wife and mother.
Thanks for reading. Blessings to you, all.
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How God Assures Me He’s On It :: A Much Needed Sunday Healing


Sweet, Sad Eyed Boy

Sweet, Sad Eyed Boy

This is my sweet boy. My youngest. My sad little guy. And OH how he had reason for that sweet, sad look. And OH how I sometimes, still, ache for my blindness.

The Man

The Man

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is the man… angry and battling his demons. Very scary demons. And OH how I dreamed of reaching that sweet boy who was hidden in that angry man. I was incapable of reaching into him, to the boy. He wouldn’t let me. I wasn’t, still am not allowed to even hug him. It’s truly heartbreaking for me. And I’m sure his heart is broken. But He battles daily with his illness, his addiction. Heroin. And even when he stumbles, slips and falls flat out; he gets back up to battle. He’s superman in his head. He still thinks he needs to be I think. Because, I couldn’t protect him, because he couldn’t tell me … until they did, when they were barely in grade school … and the man (teen) you see above hid the sweet boy. Seemingly forever.

He fell this week. Wasn’t able to recover from an apparent stumble and now he starts over again. And my heart is broken watching him be sick. Very sick as he starts to stand back up to this illness, this craving, whose whole intent is to kill that sweet boy he has hidden in his heart.

Shane light editThis is him at the beginning of the last run of sobriety. Tired but strong. He’ll be there again.

And I know this because God and I met in worship this morning at church. I started the day very worried about my sweet boy, who hasn’t been so sweet these last few days. He was sick and in pain and irritable. I mean who wouldn’t be when they felt sick; I certainly am not fun when I am ill. But this is different.

There’s nothing I can do. And if I do something I am jeopardizing his life by enabling him. He has to walk out the withdrawl himself. He has to want to feel better. He has to choose between sobriety  and oblivion.

Unlike the cancer his father battles, the boy chose his illness. Chose oblivion over the demons of something he had no say in and I had no knowledge of. The demons who continue to tell him it was his fault. The demons that tell him I should have known. The demons who tell him he’s superman and he can live through the dangerous choices. The demons who tell him no one loves him because he’s unlovable now. This monster heroin quiets the demons I imagine. But then they begin to rustle again and bite … I cannot fathom the pain, though I experience his pain and suffering while he battles the withdrawl and fights for the breath of air that sobriety brings him.

As I sang praises to God today. As I worshiped the Father that promises to heal us. I cried out and from the depth of this mother’s heart and soul I sought my God’s assistance for my sweet boy. And God assured me that with that relinquishing, once again, of my boy to His care, that the boy, the man, would be healed.

During this song, as the lead singer of our worship band and assistance pastor sang this favorite, God met me in my aching for my sweet boy. I quieted and prayed for him and for The Hubs and was assured that He had them, that their healings were imminent, promised. And I quieted into the precious peace of the music, in Father’s presence.

You see, I’ve realized that the enemy has put a hit out on this family. Two of my men are battling grave illnesses, and the boy does not know the promises we believe! So I, WE, as a family must believe for him. He does not know that heroin addiction cannot kill him, as his father knows the cancer cannot kill him, though we tell him.

The boy does not know, as the father does, that because we believe, he is saved from his illnesses and cleansed of his sins, sins that are not even his own, but believes to be. The boy doesn’t believe that Jesus loved him so much that he took the heroin needle for him to the cross and died there with that illness upon Him! So we must believe and pray until the boy understands his worth to the Father.

And what mother, father and brother wouldn’t do this for a boy, for a man?

Oh how I wish the boy believed that he would live. Oh how I wish the boy believed he is loved beyond his mother’s ability to put it in words. Oh how I wish he knew the joy I get when he is well and smiles and is a participating member of this family. A participating member in his own life.

So I leave this post as another prayer to God. It holds no scripture, only a song of worship and praise to our Father God expressing my love and honor to him. I leave it as proof that I acknowledge His response to my need, my boy’s need, this morning. And I thank him again and again, without end that my sweet boy is starting to feel better and is two or three (I’m not sure) days back on the road of sobriety.

To every parent of a child who battles the illness of addiction, or any illness for that matter, I sing this song for you and your child. I pray that God vanquish this demon and send it to hell from whence it came, and I put the enemy and heroin under the feet of Jesus.

We are healed. Our children are healed. Our land is healed. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Thanks for listening to this outpouring of a mother’s heart.

ASignature

The sweet boy’s mom. =)


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Finding my Grateful When Life is Difficult | A Tuesday at Ten Post


God,  Thank you. Love, Me.

God,
Thank you.
Love, Me.

It’s Tuesday at Ten time! And Karen’s prompt is right on time and right on the money, again!

Really, what am I grateful for … so very much!

Life is difficult here in Hutchland, and probably in your life too! Yet I remain grateful, even if I have to be reminded to count my blessings in the moment of challenge, for this life we have.

So how do I find my Grateful in times of difficulty? Here’s the story of how I keep my gratitude in order.

Like yesterday ….

I didn’t think I’d be doing much of anything today. I am tired and not feeling great after yesterday’s medical appointment adventure day! It really was a long day, with some hiccups in what we expected to be the plan, and the outcomes of the day.

Feeling great, and optimistic, when we started out on what we knew was going to be an extended day, turned into information we weren’t expecting, tests and retests and then a long drive home in quiet reflection!

LOL! Quiet reflection! Oh! I am so grateful for the humor we enjoy in this relationship of our, The Hubs and I. Somewhere along the line in our travels back and forth to appointments and chemo and radiation we saw or heard a commercial, or in a movie, that basically ended in one of the characters saying, “from now on the car will be a place of silent reflection.” So the thought of that just cracks us up!

Anyway! Back to grateful!

I’ve had several kinds of “counseling” since about the age of 19. Due to family issues, abuses and neglects in my life. From childhood and far into my adulthood. But the one form of counseling that has had the most effect on my true healing is a simple AA Beginners Learning to Live group and Step Meetings with women who think like I do and incorporates a LOT of God into it.

Over the years I have been grateful to find that AA is actually based on Christian counseling methods! It’s developed, over time, to incorporate all beliefs, but it has never denied it’s Christians roots.

The Higher Power is defined as God in all the literature. =)

All that said, I have learned, from constant consistency from my sponsor, that when I get in a REALLY bad way I need to make a GRATITUDE List.

Not too different from the guidance of the bible and probably originating there:

Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. Colossians 3:16
( I have found in my studies of scripture that many of the most profound messages in the bible are in [fill in your bible book here], chapter 3 and verse 16. Seriously, has anyone else noticed this? God surely makes these things so easy for us to find!)

Gratitude … on Facebook I’ve seen, lately, the encouragement of picking and challenging friends to 5 or 7 days of posting what they are grateful/thankful for. I’ve also noticed, among my list of friends, that if one is having a hard time or has slipped into a negative rut they are especially encouraged to write this new form of the Gratitude List. What I like about that is that it makes me feel accountable to others around me.

After all I’m supposed to be shining my light and showing those around me Jesus. Well it’s hard to do that when I am overwhelmed with the world or my current circumstances. It’s hard for anyone. I have a friend on Facebook, who over the years, I have become very close to. She could be my daughter. Usually a very happy and positive lady, she’s been having a hard time with the world around her. She even made this evident this morning. Her words broke my heart for her. ” Stick a fork in me, I’m done and it really doesn’t take much these days especially in a world where you constantly being shown how worthless you are. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for SO much… it’s the rest of it I’m absolutely choking on. HAPPY MONDAY POSITIVE PEEPS!”. I began to pray for her relief from her pain. This lady will soon be back to her wonderful positive self; but it’s so evident how all of a sudden when a tragedy crops up we truly see the world as the fallen place that it is!

This life is not easy, but as humans I think we begin a slow amnesiac type of tolerance to what’s around us; and until something makes those things that we think to be important the small things that they truly are we are unable to remember what is important and to count those amazing everyday blessings that fill our lives!

But! I’ve been taught by my God and my relentless friends of like mind that that is EXACTLY the time to write that list.

A very dear friend, mentor and powerhouse in the Ministry of Prayer, reminds me and encourages me too, in this. I must say, my mentors and friends really do cause me to be so thankful to God for putting them in my life!

I have also come to see my gratitude list as a prayer of sorts, for the day or for the crisis at hand. =)

Further Instructions: Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

They say:

Just get to it! Write that list of what you are thankful for! Count those blessings! Pray! It changes one’s attitude immediately! It works!

Well it must work, it works for me. It’s guidance from the bible and from any good counselor!

So, what am I grateful for today? After yesterday and the Monday before? Here goes … 10 things I’m grateful for this week, today:

My Gratitude List

1. Those who take the time to remind me to count my blessings. Today I must thank Karen for this, and Margie, who has been doing this for over a week with me, reminding and praying for and with me.

2. That God is our healer, not the doctors.

3. That The Hubs let me know what he thought on that. He said, “It’s ok. God heals me, not the doctors or the chemo!” So grateful for his sharing how he thinks about these things! That said …

4. For good doctors and specialists.

5. That 6 weeks out, The Hubs remains in good health!

6. I am eternally grateful that God made me smart enough to realize His choice for a husband for me almost 26 years ago!

7. I am grateful for God’s faith working in me. It is my stay and fortress.

8. My crazy and odd family!

9. For my Dachshunds and the Cats that remain. Always there and always faithful!

and lastly but never leastly …

10. For this blessed life that God has provided for us here in Hutchland!

Finding the grateful in the roughness of this life is not always an easy task, but I promise you, my sweet readers, that when practiced it has a profoundly positive affect on you, your attitude and ultimately the world around you! I encourage you to join us all at Tuesday at Ten and begin that Gratitude List of yours! We are all here on the same journey. We might be at different legs of the journey but I, for one, am grateful that you are here with me and I am not alone on the path.

Blessings to YOU and thanks for reading.

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Tuesday @ Ten

Tuesday @ Ten