HOPE*ann*FAITH

Learning to Live , Again, On Purpose.


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I write … dealing with the hard things in life


Why do I write? Well like my home page tells you it is to share life … to encourage others that they are not alone in the day to day things of this life and to help them live positively on purpose.

Today that’s just what I am struggling to do … amongst the hardest things I’ve ever faced in this life. After this I truly believe I will never be daunted by the day to day struggles or even the hard things quite as much ….

Life has been quite the puddle of tears and throbbing ache of late.
As some of you know, My Love, The Hubs, went home to be with the Lord two weeks ago, tomorrow.

My Love

My Love

I look at the calendar and sit in stunned amazement, and anger (today), that he is not here. I miss him.

So … I’ve been told to journal. To write. But what words can convey this sorrow. This deep and terrible emptiness and anger?

What are those stages of grief anyway?? Many years ago I wrote about them when I lost my grandfather and uncle. And while the pain of those loses was significant they DO NOT compare to the loss of My Love. When The Hubs passed with him he took my heart and air. Seriously I find myself holding my breath often … I find that curious and it’s not explained by the 5 stages.

Today I want to call these the 5 stages of dying … it’s what I imagine a broken heart goes through as it stops working … melodramatic? I guess, but it’s where I am right now.

So the stages …

Denial (this isn’t happening!)

I can honestly say I began going through this as My Love slipped from us over a weeks time. It was that strikingly fast! I’d find myself shaking my head in confusion? denial? that this was not happening. That it couldn’t be. Our love was so big, so deep that he couldn’t be leaving, not yet.
But denial(?) I’m not sure that is what I was truly experiencing … it was disbelief that it “could” be happening, not a denial of it’s reality. There was a point before he was non-responsive that I knew that he’d visited and experienced a glimpse of heaven (he told me, no in so many words, and this was a blessing later.) that I knew but continued to hold onto the hope that if he chose to he could stay.

But seriously … who after having experienced, glimpsed, visited heaven would choose to come back if they didn’t have to?

Anger (why is this happening?)

I’m not sure the “why is this happening” is truly the question. However I’ve just entered, according to my understanding, the anger stage.

They told me “weeks” and it was exactly a week from the time he was discharged from the hospital just about three weeks ago. He came home on Tuesday and was home with the Lord the following Tuesday, just about 12:30 am according to my clock.

The anger I am experiencing at this point is just anger. It doesn’t seem to have a point or target; it just is. This anger disturbs me. I’ve spent many (MANY) years getting anger under control in my life. It, for many years, was the emotion I filtered everything through. Anger is my nemesis … seriously. It is the one place, (emotional place) I can easily return to without even a sliver of thought. It feels familiar (almost safe, though it is anything but safe for me), like home to me. VERY dangerous place for me to spend time.

“Why is this happening?”, “Why?”. No those aren’t the questions at the core of this. But I cannot, today, tell you what the question is. I guess that is different for everyone going through grief.

I’m intelligent and I know why. I’m even comforted that My Love is not feeling pain or suffering what he, himself referred to as “not living”. He was very frustrated by what life had become with this insidious illness they call cancer and he had come to a place where he was regretting and angry with himself about what he was “leaving” me with.

Yes. We both knew and it broke our hearts. I sought the Word in my brokenheartedness and knowing my Bible Professor he went to the Word without the book! ❤

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. ~ Psalm 34:18

God I miss him. It’s just empty and hollow and it pisses me off!

So yeah. This is where I am at today. And like I promised in my about me, I’m writing to share this … the hard and scary things, because in the end that is my ministry, my calling.

As for the rest of the stages … I’ll try to share them when I arrive there. No promises that I’ll have the right words; though I can promise you that my take will not be clinical or even correct according to the world’s take on where I am in the stages. Because quite frankly I’m finding that while I’ve arrived at 2 and have left the 1st. behind, that my faith in God and His Word have altered the world’s truth of what these stages are about.

Here are the other 3, for reference, for later … though if I think about it I can say I’m going dealing with the realities of bargaining too … I’ll save that for my next post, I need to ponder how to relate how I’m dealing with that one. Honestly if I think about it at all I’m currently dealing with a mean combination of Anger, Bargaining and Depression simultaneously! Like I said, that’s for another post!

Goodness my mind wanders and gets filled with so MANY thoughts all at the same time. So it’s time for me to stop right now. You understand … right? My sweet friend readers.

Bargaining (I promise I’ll be a better person if…)
Depression (I don’t care anymore)
Acceptance (I’m ready for whatever comes)

As always thank you for stopping by and reading, and God bless!

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Letting Go and Letting God …


I read a poem today that spoke to the very core of my Spirit.

The poem stirred an understanding about this sojourn I am on. This sojourn that is once again transforming who I am as a Spiritual woman, wife, mother, nurturer in Christ. It’s about letting go.

Beautiful Dreamer - Lauren Rudolf Art

Beautiful Dreamer – Lauren Rudolf Art

As a Christian I find the Letting Go and Letting God concept in our faith is not fully understood, nor can the wisest of us explain what that truly is … that is without “A” trans-formative step in our faith. Everyone is changed by God faith by faith and glory to glory (His glory!) yet I am finding that there is a truly transforming step that we all will experience with God, in our relationship with God, that while a sojourn (or a temporary stay) in a specific spiritual space will have a tangibly permanent affect in WHO we are.

The WHO we are in Christ, specifically.

I am on that sojourn. I have been, unknowingly until today.

Today I learned, a felt the shift, of that transformation. Over the last 18 months I have slowly learned and accepted and become alright with putting the little things aside. I’ve learned and can truely decipher the insignificant things and they no longer cloud my vision.

But today. With much, powerful and fervent pray from and with some of my most loved friends I slowed and was shown, supernaturally what this letting go is truly about. And then God lead me on this path to this poem that, for me, was a picture of that letting go.

I did not write it. But I believe God did through the author.

I cannot tell you, or show you how to get to this place in your Spirit. I cannot guide you in your sojourn. But I can share this poem that has deepened within me what God has done in me today.

I have peace. I have hope. I understand, today, what He means by LIVE.

His Word says clearly that “the people will live” and “we will live and not die”.

He said through a very Godly woman that I love to my core, through His spirit, “Don will live.”

He said through this poem … that all of this is truth and this is how I let go … and I am Letting God.

I must give the credit to the author – The Rev. Safire Rose

She Let Go

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear.  She let go of the judgments.  She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.  She let go of the committee of indecision within her.  She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go.  She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go.  She let go of all of the memories that held her back.  She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.  She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

And with that I am not who I was when I awoke this morning … I AM Who I am in Christ, right now, today and forever.

Remember there is no DIY video for this. No self help book or post. This is about letting God change you to the core of who you were into the Core of WHO He made you.

Safe and peaceful travels on your sojourn … I’ll see you when you get to the other side of this breakthrough!

Thanks for stopping by to read. Please pray for my husband and my family. God bless.

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When prayer is the first step … Just a quick note.


Happy Sunday from Hopeannfaith! I pray your day was one full of God’s presence and peace. Every day should be all of this!

Today was a quiet Sunday. A wonderful message about our Authority in Christ, marvelous worship time with God and fellowship. The only thing missing was The Hubs, he stayed home due to pain. Honestly he sleeps a lot these days. We heal when we rest so I know God is working.

When I returned home from church The Hubs ate some lunch and I ran a really quick errand, he was asleep again when I returned, minutes later. He woke after a bit and went out; he needs to move and get out of the house. This man is anything but sedentary; he’s always been go, go, go. So this illness is frustrating him to the core.

When he returned, a very short time later (1/2 hour at best), he was very fatigued and nauseous. A short time later he got sick; he hasn’t been “sick” for better than a week.

My very first instinct was to praise Jesus for his healing, in prayer. Reminding God of his promise of healing. Reminding him of the Word we received just weeks ago that settled the breakthrough in my heart. I just prayed for much of the afternoon and evening.

I’ve found so much change in my spiritual character in the last 18 months. So much that I’m still finding facets of each change that I didn’t realize with the first knowledge of change. I am truly not who I was yesterday and I’ve forgotten who I was 18 months ago.

I feel more mature; not old, not haggard, just mature. I feel a wisdom that I’ve done no learning to have. Though I’ve learned a lot spiritually, I just can’t form it into words yet. Hopefully I will find the words.

It’s about how I handle the issues, good and challenging, when they present themselves. I’ve come to a place where I KNOW God is with me all the time, whether I feel it or not. I’ve come to a place at my core where I KNOW that the numb is something God does to protect me from panic and doubt … I call it my God Bubble. I just stay there and do what needs to be done by rote. It’s a protective thing He does for me.

And all the time, I pray.

PrayerHabakkuk

Prayer is now, my solid first step … First thing I do is RUN to God … in the morning when I wake up I begin talking to God, thanking Him for the mercy of a new day (especially with my Love) and the conversation begins. I simply talk to God all day long. Sometimes with words, sometimes with song and a lot in tongues and His Word.

When prayer is the first step in my day, or my situation I am able (with God all things are possible) to remain calm and peaceful during the very hard and stressful times. When prayer is my constant conversation with Father God I am assured of His promises and my authority over my emotions, reactions and situations.

When prayer is the first step I take each day, I KNOW that God’s plan is bigger and better than anything I can dream of … no matter what is happening in the natural of my day.

Let me encourage you to discipline yourself into consistent prayer; conversation with God. It will bring you to a place at the core of you that contains the peace and calm we all need in our day to day lives.

Thanks for stopping by to read my sweet reading friends. God bless.

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Blessed in the trial … T@T & FW Thursday Combined


Hello again.

As you’ve notice my posts have been few lately … our day to day here in Hutchland is very busy. Unfortunately The Hubs has been quite ill with the effects of this first week of round 4 of chemo … 18 months and these last several months have been the worst of his discomfort in all of the 18.

That said … Tuesday at Ten has worked itself into my “blog thing” Few Words Thursday … check it out  ☇  here.

by your words ... FWThLet my words be few on Thursday didn’t really turn into a thing … I would love it too, but hey, gotta get others interested right.

So Karen’s prompt was God speaking to me … He’s been in constant, intimate contact here in Hutchland for about a week. Well, strike that, He is always here … the past week He’s shown us His face. AMAZING BLESSING right there! And that leads to the prompt ….

Blessed

Fulfill Your Vow to God ~ Ecclesiates 5:1-3

Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong.

Do not be quick with your mouth,
    do not be hasty in your heart
    to utter anything before God.
God is in heaven
    and you are on earth,
    so let your words be few.
A dream comes when there are many cares,
    and many words mark the speech of a fool.

Blessed in the trial … we’ve seen much in the last 18 months; much of it you can read about if you go and read my other posts over that time. What I’ve come to KNOW and TRUST is that God has been with me always. Not just when I need. Not just when I want.

I’ve been blessed with ALWAYS, and so have you. And it amazes me that I ever didn’t know this and that sometimes, in my human-ness, I even forget it … How does that happen?

Peace and Hope ~ Romans 5:1-6

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,  through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.

When I was 5, and again when I was 19, I literally, physically saw Jesus and He spoke to me. I KNEW that I was blessed to have these encounters, yes even at 5, yet I remained on the same path … but then, God knew I would …

Over the last 18 months there have been blessings after blessings … financial, gifts, jobs and better pay, provision, protection and most notably … healing! God healed The Hubs’ lung; the cancer is no longer there, but it moved and we are currently dealing with that …

And then there’s today! YES today … the blessing of the manifest presence of God!

The Hubs didn’t sleep last night … I woke up to his anger and frustration and the statement that “God was all over me last night … He wouldn’t leave me alone … I begged Him to just let me sleep.”

My heart leapt with joy … (this is supposed to be Few Words! See, I’m not good at that! Hahaha) God was breaking Job right here in front of me. I just prayed, feeling blessed to be used as The Hubs helpmate in life, thanking God for softening this already God fearing man’s heart. The Hubs knew that was what was going on, too.

You see there are many ways to be blessed and not all of them have anything to do with what we think should or want to be. In fact it is often the case that our blessings are nothing we thought or dreamed of. This is often the reason people think that God sometimes does not answer prayers. God always answers … we just don’t always hear him, or more often, don’t like the answer.

Some of the best blessings in my life were seemingly unanswered prayers!

The blessing today, in this physical trial of our family, is the refining of a man, a faithful, Godly man. Like Job this trial is chipping scales of the world away until there is only God and the man and a new understanding of who that man is in Christ.

I am blessed to be completely unlike Job’s wife and I am supporting and praying for this man to burst forth, completely healed and restored in Christ ready for the path ahead of us, that God had planned from before the foundations of the earth.

Praise for Spiritual Blessings in Christ ~ Ephesians 1:3-10

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.  In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace  that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding,  he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10 to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.

Yes, there is cancer. Yes, one son is incarcerated because of how his addiction took over his life. Yes, there are trials and tragedy … everyone has them …

But GOD … those blessings are the manifest presence of [presents from] God. Letting us know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He is right there beside us …

Always. Blessed.

Thanks for stopping by again, sweet reading friends. Great blessings to you today.

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Living life is emotional!


Wow … what a night we had here in Hutchland, last night!

Emotions all over the place, messy and loud. With tears and sarcasm … and maybe a raised voice here and there. But …

It wasn’t an argument. It was a venting on both The Hubs’ part and then my devastated, emotional response. I ached all night from it and I woke up aching and tried … OH how I tried to keep it hemmed in, and failed miserably.

Then well …

The Hubs let go last night. I expressed a desire to spend time together. To make have some quality time, to “do something” together. And … he lost it! Going on about how it’s not reality to want a romantic moment like in France before the “end”. It was worse than that all together … there were regrets about his life and our life and oh … it’s just heartbreaking.

He must have been holding this in forever. And yes, he’s a man, and he did. It breaks my heart that he cannot see the blessings we’ve received, how he’s touched so many people, how his children adore him, how I adore him …

He apologized in his angry way, blaming a really bad “feeling sorry for myself” day and that I caught him at a bad time … but … all those words, all those emotions …

I took it to God. I took him to God. And in my heartbroken self I prayed until I slept and then I woke up, and like I said I tried desperately to hold it in, but the hurt was so deep and I failed and off to work he went. So I sat on the couch and took to the mattresses (Haha … The God Father!) and prayed for my man.

Dear God

Dear God ….

And then he returned home from work early, not feeling well and slept. When he woke we got into another discussion, this one better and more productive (prayer works people, it’s really the only way) and we’re both feeling better about things. And he ate and is resting again … the first several days after a week of chemo is very rough.

I know how I feel after 18 months of chemo and sickness and weariness and traveling and trying the next thing. I cannot imagine (well now I do know) how he has felt all this time. Like I’ve mentioned over the years he’s not much of a talker. And he has every right to feel frustrated and angry; and I believe that one must get those things out of you.

(I firmly believe that stuffing these things makes one ill!)

That said, I went directly to God. It’s been repeated in various forms over the last several weeks that going anywhere but God is futile. He is the solution. I knew that, we Christians are taught that; but I’ve come to a KNOWING.

Two weeks ago my pastor and friend taught on it in her sermon … Who do you run to? and it’s shown up in scripture and e-mails and FB posts over that time period!

Our focus, here in Hutchland, needs to be GOD … because the enemy comes to Steal, Kill and Destroy! And cancer destroys much more than one’s cells. It beats at your body, your mind and your soul, if you’re not diligent in your faith. The fatigue and sickness keeps one from church and your fellow believers … one become isolated by the cancer; the sufferer and the wife/caretaker and family!

It’s a brutal test of one’s faith. One we, here in Hutchland, intend to conquer! At least I intend to.

If you followed the link and were able to read the sermon notes on “Who do you run to?” then you may know where I’m going with this post.

I’m going to the SOURCE … the ANSWER … the world does not hold or have the answers; the world’s response to all of this do the next popular thing … and then there are our friends.

I know it’s the truth for me, that I (used to) have certain friends that I know I can get specific responses from according to what I want to hear … not necessarily what I need to hear. There are specific friends I go to when I NEED to hear what God would say! Today those are the friends I go to when I need to get things out; but I, now, always go to God first.

Like I said it’s the only real answer.

Our friends … Christian or not, mean well but their listening skills have filters, their advise is humanly flawed and when we are reaching for those friends who commiserate and tells us what we want to hear … well as well meaning as they may or may not be, that is not good at all, for anyone.

And as for the ways of the world? Well, that’s just another name for the friend who commiserates, but the advise and guidance has nothing to do with God or His plans.

Life is a hard and emotional thing and we need to be able to get past those emotions that dull our hearing of Holy Spirit, who has the answer and quite frankly the comfort we need …

And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. John 14:16-17

God cares about what you are going through. And when we go to Him regularly we begin to feel His presence even in the hardest of trials. I can attest to this. Quite honestly last nights conversation had me spent and numb by bedtime but I went to God in prayer even when, at the start, I felt nothing. My emotions had overtaken me. My self doubt had me traveling back in time to a not so great past and relationships there. I felt hurt and worthless and like God wouldn’t bother with me. I had heard 99% of what my husband said emotionally, as an affront to the 26 years we had put into our life together.

(cancer’s effects are simply evil from hell!)

But soon … those prayers broke the emotional numbness and I was able to evaluate the conversation logically and through the eyes of God. And then my heart broke for The Hubs and once again what all of this is doing to him. And I prayed for Him.

*When we pray for others in our time of need it is an offering; sweet and cherished by Father God. Cherished because we are being obedient in prayer and because it tells Father that we are surrendered to Him and His plan and it frees Him up to work on our behalf. The blessings are enormous.

So I’d like to give you a few go to scriptures and encourage you to take your cares to the Lord before anyone else. For me and for our current situation, it was the only way to get things expedited. I trust it will do the same for you, what do you have to lose, except for the emotional pain and the delay of misguided advise and counsel. =)

These scriptures will begin to cause emotional healing in your life and body. When used regularly they will mend and bring your relationship with God the Father to an intimacy that will forever change how you deal with life and your emotions.

Enjoy the peace of communion with God. I certainly did by the end of this day.

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:17-18 (NIV)

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Psalms 23:3 (NIV)

The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba,Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Romans 8:15-16 (NIV)

You who sit down in the High God’s presence, spend the night in Shaddai’s shadow, Say this: “God, you’re my refuge. I trust in you and I’m safe!” That’s right—he rescues you from hidden traps, shields you from deadly hazards. His huge outstretched arms protect you— under them you’re perfectly safe; his arms fend off all harm. Psalms 91:1-5 (The Message)

‘But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the Lord. . .  Jeremiah 30:17a (NIV)

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. Isaiah 43:2 (NIV)

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:1-3 (NIV)

As always my sweet and faithful reading friends, thanks for spending this time with me. Blessings to you.

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Dreams & Desires ~ How they are fulfilled.


Over at Finding the Grace Within the Tuesday at Ten’s Prompt this week is Dream … and I ponder, and I wonder …

Eternity

Lately I’ve had odd dreams. Caused, I am sure, by the late hours I keep and the early mornings that we have in getting to The Hub’s treatments which started again this week. Five days a week once a month … actually 6 days if you count the ride up the Monday after for the Neulasta shot.

That said, those are not the dreams I will be talking about today.

I want to address how dreams can be altered by circumstances in our lives. And quite frankly how we, here in Hutchland, don’t allow that.

Those who live outside of God or faith or religion, however you term it [though all those terms are truly separate from one another] run to the wrong places and people when their dreams are threatened by someone, something or circumstances. They cling to their dreams while believing, in that shattered way, that their dream is unattainable due to these outside forces.

However, I am here to testify that one’s dreams and aspirations are from our Father Creator and cannot be “shattered” or “stolen” unless we allow them to; and we allow them to slip through our hands because we don’t trust the source of those dreams. Or because we don’t [either by ignorance or choice] have a fully mature relationship with our Father Creator.

He gives us those dreams. Those precious desires of our heart. So that we will fulfill our divine destinies.

That said …

Some would think that our dreams had been shattered 18 months ago with the cancer diagnosis, but they were not. We don’t accept the unacceptable here in Hutchland. The cancer is a trial, a diagnosis …

But God ….

More Than Conquerors translates to Huper Nikos in the Greek.

Romans 8:31

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? [to cancer and doctors proclamations] If God is for us, who can be against us?

 

Our dreams and our future are in God’s hands. God put our desires and our dreams into us and they cannot be shattered by the enemy … unless we allow it [like I said previously]. And then, isn’t that us shattering them?

Don’t get me wrong I focus on only one dream these days … but it’s the same dream I embarked on over 5 years ago when I asked God to remove anything from me that was not of him. That dream, that request has grown to encompass the whole family and our lives … things are being removed.

*obesity

*heart issues

*addictions

*cancer

*lack

I asked for ….

Healing. Wholeness. Complete Health.

Just a heads up … Be sure you’re ready for change when you ask God to do something or to fulfill your dreams. He searches our hearts and when we’re found truly ready and willing for refinement, he answers that prayer. The results are no less than painful and so much more. A true refinement begins.

1 Peter 1:6-8

A Living Hope
…In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,…

Jeremiah 17:10

I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.

Psalm 37:3-5

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.

You see … Dreams are one of the ways God guides us to our purpose; and we live on purpose here in Hutchland. We asked for healing and complete divine health and those things that were not of God are being removed for God’s glory.

Now we don’t know what the future holds, but we do know who holds that future in His hands, and we believe Him.

Please Note: I said we BELIEVE God. I didn’t say we believe in God … He’s not a fairy tale or a story that we fantasize  is real. We know Him to be a tangible part of our lives and we trust and believe Him and His Word and at His Word.

He’s brought many dreams to fulfillment for us. Some little and unassuming and some HUGE and fantastic.

All dreams. All prayers and desires. All fulfilled … You may know them as blessings.

By any other name they are God working in our lives.

What dreams do you have today?

Have you brought them to God or have you trusted them to man? … Well, let me know, because that my dear readers is a post coming soon to HopeAnnFaith Blog!

Thanks for stopping by and as always Blessings to you and yours.

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Standing on a road I did not plan.


It’s FMF time … on Saturday.

Five minutes of unedited writing. No worries and no regrets. Just link up here … check the rules here … and read and encourage your fellow writer to your left and/or right in the link up. Spelling and sentence construction are unimportant here. What is important is what is in your heart … put it on the page and know it’s good enough for what God intends it for.

The prompt is: Plan …

Ready. Set. Go.

Dear God

Dear God … I need you now.

Standing on a road I did not plan … it’s a lyric of a Plumb song that first came out just after The Hubs was diagnosed with lung cancer. Today I needed that song … I needed the lyrics to help me articulate my cry to God.

many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it’s the Lord’s purpose that prevails. ~ Proverbs 19:21

I stand in the middle of this desolate road and [like the lyrics, which I’ll post at the end along with the video] I ponder how we got to this exact place. I wonder … what is the lesson here?

Is it that God provides?

Is it that God does not give us more than we can handle?

Is it to keep moving forward, in faith, to the breakthrough?

Does it matter? I mean in the question of what is the lesson.

I think what God’s plan is here is to continue to break me [us] for His purposes. To bare us to our very core to reveal His glory within the truest parts of us, The Hubs and I.

I think. No I believe, that at this place he is showing us just how magnificently strong and resilient He has created us and our union that He sanctioned. He’s revealing the testimony of His Sovereignty in us, in our lives.

That said … this road of His … it’s a HARD one, one He knew we would not be able, in our human-ness, to accept, one we would run from, thus separating ourselves from Him in the disobedience of distrust.

So I stand here in the middle of this road that I had no plan for and I surrender. I cannot do anything else, this is so far out of my depth that I can only stand on the edge, hand extended crying out …

God I need you now!

STOP.

Thank you for reading my friends. God bless.

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